tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4414950226934513220.post7616427159362768924..comments2024-01-15T08:56:08.656-05:00Comments on Pet Peeves: Unexpected Friendships.....Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10145036422935867061noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4414950226934513220.post-71576863902763453782010-12-03T15:38:50.654-05:002010-12-03T15:38:50.654-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.retromeisterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15640627614796327214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4414950226934513220.post-49703916603864616652010-12-03T10:15:58.331-05:002010-12-03T10:15:58.331-05:00Barbara, I think you should write a blog. You are...Barbara, I think you should write a blog. You are eloquent and wise and many could benefit from what you have to say.<br /><br />In my case I felt my friend was distancing herself from me. I tried several times to discuss it and it never happened. I got to the breaking point after not hearing from her for 3 weeks. When she texted me one morning before work, I could not answer. I decided I owed her an explanation, the one she was not willing to listen to when we could have talked it out. I wrote her a very long email and was as clear as I could be. I knew it would end things because she wouldn't like what I had to say and become defensive. Everything I said was true and I could not go on the way things were. I needed time to distance myself the way she had. She wasn't willing to give me that time. So it ended. I don't know if I learned anything. I am going to come back and reread your words and maybe I will get a lightbulb moment. Thank you, it is much appreciated.Ninahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10145036422935867061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4414950226934513220.post-28062815638922448332010-12-03T09:43:42.214-05:002010-12-03T09:43:42.214-05:00I guess what I was trying to say..badly I guess......I guess what I was trying to say..badly I guess...is that these losses aren't always forever....and sometimes ....the relationships weren't ever supposed to be "forever".<br /><br />If you can do a thorough soul search during those times of separation...and feel very comfortable with not having committed some "crime" which has separated you from your friend...you will still "mourn" their loss in some fashion..but if you feel at peace with not having harmed them..causing their exit..missing someone frequently is different from them dying and knowing there is never going to be a "tomorrow" chat over a cup of coffee.<br /><br />If your separation is caused because of "words"..spoken or perceived to have been spoken..then I take the steps to at least clear away any errors.If someone needs to be angry with me..after I've at least put things out in front of them..I can allow them THEIR time to work through it.<br />Once the truth is in place...what will be ,will be.<br />If you can look at that relationship for what it brought to both of you..good and bad..you may discover that it was always meant to be an "interim"..something to teach you or THEM ...about something else.Once the lesson has been put out there..sometimes the relationship goes.mortgagewitchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17024598603049623320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4414950226934513220.post-37995373428435094892010-12-03T07:42:16.006-05:002010-12-03T07:42:16.006-05:00Crisit abd Barbara, thanks for posting. I am not ...Crisit abd Barbara, thanks for posting. I am not as young as Carrie Underwood (the picture on my profile). I am actually 56. I can understand how hurt you must have been Cristi, having gone through it myself. My husband is also wonderful and is really my best friend, but men and women communicate differently and I miss the closeness of that "female" bond. Still, I am amzed at how many wonderful women are out there and willing to drop everything and listen when you need them! <br /><br />Barbara, I love your outlook! I have tried to look at things the way you do, but when you are experiencing what you perceive and feel is a loss and grieving over it, it's very hard for me anyway, to see the big picture. Too much emotional upheaval is going on. It takes time for those wounds to heal and see things the way you describe. Now it's bee more than a year so I can be more objective about things (but not totally). Thanks for your comments.Ninahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10145036422935867061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4414950226934513220.post-80224492789938010242010-12-03T00:07:27.561-05:002010-12-03T00:07:27.561-05:00I'm significantly older than you "girls&q...I'm significantly older than you "girls"..so maybe I can offer a different perspective.<br />There are some people in life,that I believe we are designed to cross paths with..even for only a short time.There are always lessons to be learned so as I got older..I stopped regretting what I had viewed as the LOSS of a companion and decided to embrace it,be grateful for the time and let it go peacefully.Sometimes..those relationships pick up again at another point in your lives.....some don't.When one has resumed..it is odd how quickly you can move into a closeness again..as if you just picked up in the middle of an unfinished sentence.So NO relationship is a loss..in my estimation..nor is it a reason to shield against new ones.You learn something from every person who crosses your path..good or bad..you are richer for the experience.<br />Barbara West from Housewives posting Board.mortgagewitchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17024598603049623320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4414950226934513220.post-26586976284875376162010-12-02T21:35:11.727-05:002010-12-02T21:35:11.727-05:00This does describe me too. I find that I have lot...This does describe me too. I find that I have lots of friends, mostly acquaintances and co-workers. My last 'best friend' stopped calling me after I stood up for her at her midnight wedding on New Year's Eve (blue moon thing) - I was the only witness (there was a witness via phone) to her marriage to a man she had only known for 5 weeks. Like you wrote, her need for me ended, so apparently, so did our friendship. :-( <br />I find my best friend is my husband. Not quite the same as having a female besty, but he's wonderful none-the-less.AZCristihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06897252105563166345noreply@blogger.com