When I'm Sixty-Four . . . or, The Newport, R.I. Vacation

Here we are at the Cliff Walk

I'm not really sure what kind of blog I want to write about on this subject. The fact is my older daughter planned this family trip to Newport, R.I. and it coincided with my 64th birthday and her current obsession with The Beatles. There were six of us on the trip and most of us had never been there. I could write about all the things we did while we were there, but you could read about that on TripAdvisor, the AAA website or Rhode Island's Tourist page, if you are interested. Suffice to say we hit all the main attractions in 6 days: The Vanderbilt Mansions, The 3.5 mile Cliff Walk, the historic district and museum, Washington Square, Bowen and Bannister wharfs, the beach and golf course and many delicious restaurants. I don't want to write about all that. We could have been anywhere for what I want to share, Newport was just a backdrop, albeit a very pretty and enjoyable one.

The past couple of years our girls have been pretty busy living their lives (as it should be), but that doesn't stop me from missing them, from thinking about them, from wanting to do things with and for them. It reminds me of a scene from the movie "Marty," starring Ernest Borgnine, when his aunt Catherine was lamenting to her sister that she had no one to care for any more.  

"These are the worst years, I tell you. It's going to happen to you. . . I've got strength in my hands. I want to clean. I want to cook. I want to make dinner for my children. Am I an old dog to lay near the fire till my eyes close? These are terrible years, Theresa, terrible years... It's gonna happen to you. It's gonna happen to you! What are you gonna do if Marty gets married? Huh? What are you gonna cook? Where's all the children playing in all the rooms? Where's the noise? . . . What are you gonna do if Marty gets married? What are you gonna do?"

Maybe that's a bit dramatic? But I'm sure many empty nest moms all over the world feel a little blue from time to time after their babies leave home.

When my daughter suggested we take this trip to Newport I was excited to go. When the girls were growing up, we made sure to take a family vacation every year to make memories and spend quality, family time together. I wasn't sure we would have any more of those times with them. They have a lifetime of adventures and experiences ahead of them now. But planning this trip, and including me and my husband, was a wonderful gift that I will never forget.

We started out on Saturday morning, August 11th. My husband and I rode with my older daughter and our son in law. My husband must have been in his glory because this four and half hour trip was filled with Beatle music the entire way. Of course, "When I'm Sixty-Four" managed to get played a time or two, and set the theme for the trip, as I was turning 64 this week. My husband shared Beatle trivia with my daughter and she told him about things she had read or heard concerning Beatle history. I just sat there taking it all in. We eventually arrived at our destination, an Air B&B beach house we rented. After unloading the car it was pretty late in the afternoon so we looked for a place to eat and plan activities for the next day mostly based on the weather forecast.

Bowen's Wharf

There were a few times we walked along the wharf areas and visited the little shops. I always loved looking at souvenirs in different cities. Every vacation I'd buy a Christmas ornament from one of the shops to hang on the tree. Over the years our tree has become filled with them and the memories each one holds. This vacation was special to me, so I needed to get an ornament to add to my collection. My girls and their guys walked ahead of us, hand in hand, down the streets, in front of my husband and I. Suddenly I remember some old photos I took of the girls when they were two or three years old, walking hand in hand with their father in front of me. Now it's someone else's hand they hold. And that's how it should be.

The rough part of the Cliff Walk

It was nice seeing all the sites Newport has to offer. The thing I am most proud of is walking on one of the rough, rocky parts of the Cliff Walk. I don't think I could have done it if my son in law hadn't been holding my hand and guiding me every step of the way. But, I knew I would slow them down if I continued to try and make my way along the rest of the rocky walk after that point, which was probably another 2 miles at least. My husband and I got off at that exit and walked about a mile and a half or so down the streets to the end of the walk to wait for them. I'd rather be safe than sorry. If I took a fall I would have ruined the trip for everyone. Still, I think I did a good job keeping up with the kids all week considering they are all less than half my age (my husband is in better shape, so I don't give him as much credit).

I enjoyed our meals together. We all sat around the table sharing stories and memories, laughing, feeling relaxed. We had real quality time together, without the internet and the news to stress over. It's been a while since we have been able to do that. We had a couple of BBQ's at the house we rented. The boys went shopping for the groceries and prepared those meals. My son in law bought crab legs and cracked them open for us. He was very skilled at that. I think I enjoyed those meals more than most of the restaurants we ate at.

My girls, my heart.

Our last day there the kids had planned a birthday dinner to take me to. We decided to have brunch and an early dinner. The restaurant, Bowen's 22, was a little high end and fancier than the other places we ate at. The food was delicious and the portions large. We needed to walk some of that off so we took a stroll around the wharf, looking at shops, the hundreds of boats in the water, and for last minute purchases. When we got back to the house the girls disappeared for a few minutes. When they reappeared they had a couple gifts in hand. My older daughter and her husband got me a "Fitbit" and a planner so I could record all my steps and do the exercise I am hoping to do. I was holding the planner in it's cellophane wrapper, telling my daughter I almost ordered this one from Amazon. She says to me, I'm not sure if that's the academic planner, I forgot to check. I turn it over and right on the cellophane it says "academic planner." She starts laughing. I ask what is so funny? You want me to open it to be sure? So I do. I open to the pages and tell her "see, it's the academic planner." She starts laughing even more. I ask "what is going on? Am I doing something wrong?" So I say, "look it has tabs and everything, starting with August." She's laughing even more. As I flip through the book there's a colorful piece of paper sticking out, which I am guessing is advertising and I ignore it. More laughing. The more I flip through the book, the harder she is laughing. Then my eye catches a glimpse of the top of this "advertisement." I see the words "tickets" and "Theresa Caputo" on it, The Long Island Medium in Huntington, L.I. I'm like "WHAT??? Are these tickets for real?" I have been telling them over and over the past couple of years that one day I am going to see her for myself. I want to see if she comes across real when you see her show in person. My younger daughter says she happened to have dinner near the venue one day, saw she was going to be there and decided to get me tickets. Then she volunteers that her sister thought it would be a great idea to hide them in the planner for me to find . . . which I almost didn't do. I was really speechless. We all got a great laugh out of it. It was the perfect ending to a perfect trip!

My gifts.

See the little paper sticking out?

The TICKETS

Mom's Sewing Basket . . .

When we were growing up, my mother had all her sewing supplies in one of those "all butter" cookie tins.  She used to darn my father's socks, undershirts and underwear every week, after the laundry was done.  My mom didn't really like sewing and mending things, but she sure got the most wear out of every item of clothing we owned.

As my brother and I got older, we were able to save some money up to buy gifts at Christmas time. One year we managed to find a nice, large sewing basket that we bought for my mom. It had a top tray to organize smaller items and in the lower portion there was plenty of extra storage for spools of thread.  It was a thoughtful gift and practical. There weren't many things my mother would appreciate. My mother hated things like figurines, which she always referred to as "dust collectors." She wasn't happy when we bought her jewelry because she felt it was too expensive. And don't mention flowers. Flowers were the biggest waste of money because they were only going to die. A practical gift was always a good choice.

My mom stored lots of things in that sewing basket.  There was a Sucrets box filled with straight pins for hemming pants and skirts. She had her nice sharp scissors and a pair of pinking sheers in there. Her little "tomato" pin cushion was always out whenever she did any sewing. She had a couple of packages of assorted darning needles in there too. Why she needed so many I will never know. Maybe after being used too often, needles get dull? And, although she had a couple of thimbles, the only one I ever remember her using was the same little, pink plastic one she wore on her finger for every sewing project. That little, pink thimble was the first thing to come out of the box and the last thing to go back in the tray. When I see that pink thimble, I see my mom.

That little plastic pink thimble probably cost five cents, if that, when she bought it. Funny how something so small, so old, and of so little worth could be priceless in sentimental value.