When my older daughter got married in July, 2016, I started thinking one day soon I will be a grandmother. Of course they needed time to settle into their new lives and they wanted to buy a house, so that took a little time. And somehow, I had it pictured in my head, that when the time came, and my daughter found out she was pregnant, that I would be the third to know (you know, like right after she told her husband the little stick was pink). But, life and my daughter are unpredictable. I finally did get to find out I was going to be a grandma after a million little lies.
Let me take you back a little bit first. In September, 2017, my daughter and husband bought their first home. So, the baby was the next step and she told me she was thinking of starting a family in the fall of 2018, maybe October. However, they took a trip to Mexico in May, 2018 and because of the outbreak of the Zika virus in the past, the CDC recommended waiting 6 months after a couple's return before trying to start a family. This was a little disappointing, but just delayed the process for two months to December, 2018. Fine. Now, in October, 2018 something made me go check the CDC website and I learned that the wait time had been changed from 6 months to three months. I promptly sent the link to try daughter telling her she didn't need to wait. She replied "oh really." Lie number one, she already knew this in August and didn't share this information with me (and, as it turns out she was already pregnant). Also in October she comes down with some kind of bug and has a fever. She asks my husband and I to take her to urgent care. I ask her if she wants me to come in with her, she says no. Another lie of omission because she had to tell the doctor she was pregnant so he would know what to prescribe and didn't want me in there. We leave the office and she says she has a prescription for antibiotic called into the pharmacy. I offer to go get it as soon as we drop her off home. She says no, she just wants to rest and her husband will get it after work (more lies). Turns out she never took the prescription and I don't even know if there was a prescription.
I speak to my daughter almost every day after work, it's the only time I get to hear her voice. Too often she doesn't sound right and I am worrying. I keep asking what's the matter, and she says she is tired or has a headache. I tell her how can you have a baby when you feel so lousy? Again, no mention she is pregnant, more lies of omission. I am worrying myself to death every day wondering what's wrong. Now before you judge me for being clueless, let me just say that my daughter has always been very honest with me. I had no reason to doubt anything she was telling me or leaving out. I took her at her word. I never thought she would keep this news from me, and yet she did.
Ok so things are moving along day after day, week after week. Tired and headaches and going to bed early. Yet, the few times I do see her she looks good. In November we start talking about Christmas trees and ornaments. They never got a real tree, but all of a sudden my daughter is enthused about her first tree and and getting excited. Yes, I am still clueless. I take her shopping for ornaments one day and then bring her home, helping her with the packages. My son in law comes over to say hi and I ask him, is she okay? She is always tired, it's not right. That job is killing her. He glances over to my daughter, she gives him a coy look, and he tells me she is fine. More lies from the co-conspirator.
Thanksgiving is around the corner and we are planning to have dinner at my cousin's house. A nice big family celebration with all 12 of us around the table. My daughter asks for water and my son in law jumps out of his chair like his pants are on fire to get her water. I give her a nod and ask what got into him that he ran for that water? At the same time I am glad he is taking good care of her because she tends to get dehydrated easily. The food is set out on the table, way too much for even 12 people to eat. We are having nice conversation and suddenly my son in law leaves the table. I think nothing of it, maybe he has to use the restroom. He comes back and in his hand he has this little box. He hands it to me and my husband, telling us it's an early Christmas present. I am stunned. In all my life I don't think I have ever gotten an early Christmas present and this box is lighter than a feather. This is what was inside:
I read it and look at them. I am in shock. I wasn't expecting this at all. And then it hits me. A Million Little Lies. It all starts to make sense. The pieces of the puzzle fall together, but not all at once. First this lie, then that lie. Then she reminds me of a few lies. I feel like I am in a dream or even on a sitcom. Now I realize that my honest daughter has become an expert liar and I can never believe her again. She is too good at it. When I come back to reality, I ask do you know if it's a boy or girl? They say yes, it's a girl. A girl! I have to let that sink in. While I am doing that, my brother and my cousin are running to go get cards and whatever to give them for the announcement. I have nothing to give. I am not home where I have a big stash of stuff. Stuff I bought. Stuff I crocheted two years ago and saved. I have stuff, but not with me. Sigh. I was so not prepared for this announcement, but it was the best Thanksgiving ever!
Now for part two. When can I announce this baby news? Well I'll give you the short version. The kids were telling my son in law's family the day after Thanksgiving. So I thought, great! I'll be able to spill the beans tomorrow. Nope. They wanted me to wait till Christmas when his grandparents were coming for the holidays and they could tell them in person. Okay. After Christmas I can make my announcement. Meanwhile, between Christmas and New Year's, my younger daughter gets engaged. She and her fiancé wanted me to wait to announce that, but just a couple of days (Thank you, Jesus). So, after they tell the grandparents I ask, when can I make my announcement. Answer, not until January, 22nd because they have a 3D sonogram and that will tell then everything about the baby. Okay fine, what's another 3 weeks, right? As it gets closer to the 22nd, I am getting antsy. My daughter says, "Well maybe not the 22nd because I might not get the results that day." There is a moment of silence. Then I say, "Well at this rate do you think I can announce it when she starts kindergarten or do I have to wait till she goes to college?" And then I calm down. It's their baby. They get to do it their way. And finally, on January 23rd, my son in law posts and gives me the ok (cause I still asked permission first). And that's where we are today . . . a million little lies later.
I am going to be a grandma to a baby girl. I think it is finally sinking in.
