I find subjects like this very hard to write about. So I can only imagine how difficult it was for Dylan Farrow to publically expose what was done to her when she was seven years old by her abuser. Her very public letter, published in the New York Times, sounded very real, sincere and detailed to me. I believe her. I cannot imagine living in a world where your abuser is celebrated and revered and honored for his accomplishments. There is no escape from reliving the horrible acts that were done to her when his name is always in the media and he is surrounded by celebrities and critics and on the recieving end of accolades. Where can she run? Where can she hide from it all? He called her a liar years ago and he continues to do so today. It's sickening.
There is plenty of evidence, that came out years ago, to more than suggest this little girl was telling the truth. This was not a little girl coached by her mother, to say evil things about her father. To come to that conclusion would make Mia Farrow, a loving mother to all her children, the evil monster. That is the only defense that the molester had, to redirect the focus and blame on someone else, to cast doubt on the child's accusations. But, no matter how hard he tries, there are facts in evidence that he cannot explain away.
Here is an interesting and well researched article that presents the facts of the case concerning what happened to Dylan Farrow: Facts considered by the court. If you haven't read Dylan's letter to her accusor, you can find it here: Dylan's Letter to Her Abuser
I recall the horror and shock when, on the heels of these accusations, Woody Allen (yes I said hs name), married his "daughter" Soon-Yi in 1992. He was 56 and she was 21. He married her right after his breakup with Mia Farrow, who he never "lived" with, but did adopt two of her eleven children, Moses age 13 and Dylan age 6. Allen was sleeping with Soon-Yi when she was about 18, for a year before breaking up with Mia, who learned of the affair in 1992. Mia went to Allen's apartament and "discovered six nude Polaroids of Soon-Yi on his mantle, her legs spread open."
I am not a lawyer, judge, or jury. I don't need evidence beyond a reasonable doubt to come to my conclusions. The facts speak for themselves. Dylan speaks for herself. Who can we believe? Who should we believe? I am satisfied that Dylan was molested by her father and her mother did everything in her power to protect her as soon as she foundout. Unfortunately, the scars and pain she suffered have not gone away and probably never will go away. She is living a lifetime sentence in her own personal prison, while her abuser receives lfetime achievement awards.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Justin Bieber, The New Lindsay Lohan?
I'd be remiss if I didn't blog all my rantings and ravings about Justin Bieber's series of incidents. I don't wnat to give Justin a free pass just because I have been busy. It seems while I have been involved with moving the past 12 months, Justin has been busy breaking the law and getting into trouble.
Starting back in February 2013, Justin was allegedly photographed with his "lil" friends, Za and Twist, and some blunts. In March he turned 19 and celebrated with underage drinking, showing up late for concerts, and collapsing on stage during a London concert. He returns to the US only to spit in a neighbor in the face when he complains to him about his wreckless driving in the neighborhood. In April 2013 the Swedish police find marijuana and a stun gun on his bus. In July 2013 he is videoed pissing in a mob bucket in a New York City nightclub kitchen...remind me not to eat there. In August 2013, there are a couple of club altercations. He take a little break in September.
In October he assaults a tour manager in a South Korean nightclub. In November 2013 there is a little sex scandal in which a woman photgraphs him allegedly spending the night with her and then he is caught coming out of a brothel in South America...you got to hand it to him, the kid gets around. Later that month he is detained in Australia when they find weed on one of his entourage members. In December 2013 a girl passes out in his mansion while partying with Justin. In January, 2014, he gets in trouble for vandalism when he throws about two dozen eggs at a neighbor's house...I know I'd be pissed! Five days later the cops raid Justin's house over the egg incident and find drugs, Molly/Ectasy, but arrest Justin's "lil" friend, not him. While on Miami beach Justin is stopped for drag racing, fails a sobriety test and is arrested for a DUI. He resists arrest and is found to have an expired driver's license. And, just like Lindsay Lohan, he is out and about after a slap on the wrist.
Interestingly enough, Justin happens to be a Canadian citizen, unlike Lindsay. People here have gotten so fed up with him they have started a petition to get him deported. A petition of this kind requires 100,000 signatures for the US government to consider looking into the matter. Last I heard, Justin's petition has 255,740 signature to be exact. And, they want to revoke his green card. Here you go:
"We the people of the United States feel that we are being wrongly represented in the world of pop culture. We would like to see the dangerous, reckless, destructive, and drug abusing, Justin Bieber deported and his green card revoked. He is not only threatening the safety of our people but he is also a terrible influence on our nations youth. We the people would like to remove Justin Bieber from our society."
Granted Justin committed these incidents literally all over the world, so no one place has his complete record, unlike Lindsay. But isn't it sad that all these young entertainers can think to do with their money is drink alcohol and do drugs? I haven't heard anything on Lindsay recently, and I hope that means she has been getting help to stay sober. It's sad stories like that of Cory Monteith and Philip Seymour Hoffman that should be a wake up call to everyone. Those who are addicted and the people who love them, should take action now. There have been too many memorials to say good bye, too many lives cut tragically short. Is this the best we can do...just stand by and say goodbye? Is there no good way to prevent these things from happening? People who are addicted to drugs are mentally incapacitated and can't make the decision to save themselves. They not only put their lives in danger, they put others' lives in danger. Instead of finding Hoffman and getting him help before he died with a needle in his arm, they are now busy, after the fact, looking for the people who gave him the drugs. Why can't drug rehab be mandatory for known addicts before they kill themselves? Maybe that's a simplistic way of thinking, but it's sickening to wake up and read about one death after another when these deaths could have been, should have been prevented.
Wake up Justin! You've been blessed with a lot of things in life, the most precious of which is life...and you are taking it for granted and throwing it away!
Starting back in February 2013, Justin was allegedly photographed with his "lil" friends, Za and Twist, and some blunts. In March he turned 19 and celebrated with underage drinking, showing up late for concerts, and collapsing on stage during a London concert. He returns to the US only to spit in a neighbor in the face when he complains to him about his wreckless driving in the neighborhood. In April 2013 the Swedish police find marijuana and a stun gun on his bus. In July 2013 he is videoed pissing in a mob bucket in a New York City nightclub kitchen...remind me not to eat there. In August 2013, there are a couple of club altercations. He take a little break in September.
In October he assaults a tour manager in a South Korean nightclub. In November 2013 there is a little sex scandal in which a woman photgraphs him allegedly spending the night with her and then he is caught coming out of a brothel in South America...you got to hand it to him, the kid gets around. Later that month he is detained in Australia when they find weed on one of his entourage members. In December 2013 a girl passes out in his mansion while partying with Justin. In January, 2014, he gets in trouble for vandalism when he throws about two dozen eggs at a neighbor's house...I know I'd be pissed! Five days later the cops raid Justin's house over the egg incident and find drugs, Molly/Ectasy, but arrest Justin's "lil" friend, not him. While on Miami beach Justin is stopped for drag racing, fails a sobriety test and is arrested for a DUI. He resists arrest and is found to have an expired driver's license. And, just like Lindsay Lohan, he is out and about after a slap on the wrist.
Interestingly enough, Justin happens to be a Canadian citizen, unlike Lindsay. People here have gotten so fed up with him they have started a petition to get him deported. A petition of this kind requires 100,000 signatures for the US government to consider looking into the matter. Last I heard, Justin's petition has 255,740 signature to be exact. And, they want to revoke his green card. Here you go:
"We the people of the United States feel that we are being wrongly represented in the world of pop culture. We would like to see the dangerous, reckless, destructive, and drug abusing, Justin Bieber deported and his green card revoked. He is not only threatening the safety of our people but he is also a terrible influence on our nations youth. We the people would like to remove Justin Bieber from our society."
Granted Justin committed these incidents literally all over the world, so no one place has his complete record, unlike Lindsay. But isn't it sad that all these young entertainers can think to do with their money is drink alcohol and do drugs? I haven't heard anything on Lindsay recently, and I hope that means she has been getting help to stay sober. It's sad stories like that of Cory Monteith and Philip Seymour Hoffman that should be a wake up call to everyone. Those who are addicted and the people who love them, should take action now. There have been too many memorials to say good bye, too many lives cut tragically short. Is this the best we can do...just stand by and say goodbye? Is there no good way to prevent these things from happening? People who are addicted to drugs are mentally incapacitated and can't make the decision to save themselves. They not only put their lives in danger, they put others' lives in danger. Instead of finding Hoffman and getting him help before he died with a needle in his arm, they are now busy, after the fact, looking for the people who gave him the drugs. Why can't drug rehab be mandatory for known addicts before they kill themselves? Maybe that's a simplistic way of thinking, but it's sickening to wake up and read about one death after another when these deaths could have been, should have been prevented.
Wake up Justin! You've been blessed with a lot of things in life, the most precious of which is life...and you are taking it for granted and throwing it away!
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Bridgegate and Chris Christie...
For the first time in a long time, I finally saw something in a Republican politician that I liked. Chris Christie came across as a take charge, no nonsense, down to earth, calling it as he sees it, leader. I saw him in action during storm Sandy. He was impressive enough to sway my thinking into believing I could actually vote for him if he ran for president in 2016. Even our Governor Cuomo, who is a democrat and may throw his hat in the ring in 2016, was not the strong leader I thought he needed to be. These are hard times in every sense of the word. People around the country are struggling with so many issues and these constant bouts with extraordinary and devastating weather events are more than we can stand. Too many people are still not back in their homes due the the damage from Sandy. It's hard to believe.
Fast forward to Bridgegate. I did a lot of reading about this scandal and I watched the very long, televised press conference that Christie had after the scandal broke. He sure seemed sincere in his apologies and his insistence that he didn't know anything about it's planning or execution. I hoped he was telling the truth. Surely, he would not compound the stupidity of this whole mess by adding his denials of any knowledge, especially if there was evidence out there that he knew something or even gave the orders to close the lanes on the George Washington Bridge. If there is proof he knew anything about it at this point, he could kiss his political career good bye.
A couple of things bothered me though. First, he said he had just learned of the fact his staff was involved the morning before the press conference, but later said he had lost TWO nights sleep. I caught that, but then the media highlighted it and questioned it. Everyone was asking why, if he only found out the day before, did he lose two nights sleep? That in itself isn't so incriminating. I'm sure there are many reasons why he could have lost an extra night's sleep. But now there is a second thing weighing on my mind. David Wildstein. Wildstein is the person who ordered the lanes of the George Washington Bridge closed based on an email from Bridget Kelly saying, "time for traffic problems in Fort Lee." Wildstein answered "got ya," as though he had understood her short command and had done this sort of thing before.Wildstein knew Christie in high school. Someone at the press conference asked Christie about their "friendship." Christie downplayed the relationship, saying they went to high school together, they passed each other in the hallways, they haven't seen each other in 20 years or more. Really? Because this doesn't have the ring of truth to it. Why? Well, a special position was created for Wildsten in the Port Authority by the request of Christie, namely Director of Interstate Capital Projects paying over $150,000 per year. A position that never existed before and is being done away with now that Wildstein resigned on the heels of the scandal. Who believes Christie would ask for a position like this for a guy he barely knew existed in high school? I don't. I have some serious concerns about it. To top it off, Wildstein, in an effort to save himself from prison time, is offering up evidence that Christie didn't tell the truth on some matters during his press conference, for immunity. Bridget Kelly and Bill Stepien were subpoenaed to submit documents for the investigation and I heard she refused.
Lastly, Rachael Maddow pointed out something interesting on her show. We all have a hard time thinking Christie would condone wrecking havoc on Fort Lee just because the mayor there didn't endorse him, especially since he admits they didn't ask for his endorsement. But Maddow looked closely at the timing of the event and what happened just before the lane closure went into effect. it seems that Christie, for the first time in I don't know how many years of NJ history, decided not to give a supreme court justice a lifetime appointment after he had served seven years with a very good record. This angered the state senate because there was no reason for it. So in retaliation, every appointment Christie made to fill that seat, was rejected. The night before the traffic jam, another candidate had been rejected and Christie was pissed. The president of the senate lives in Fort Lee. Maddow's theory is that the lane closures were in retaliation for this situation and had nothing to do with the mayor. It seems to make sense. Does that mean Christie knew what was about to happen or did his staff orchestrate the whole thing without his knowledge? Did the governor tell them to do what they have to do to get back at whoever, but he doesn't want to know the details? I don't know. I imagine that happens all the time. Of course, when he asked them about it they lied and/or said nothing. That may be the way it is done to protect the reputation of the leader, so he can say he knows nothing, and the underlings become totally responsible and the scapegoats. Heads have to roll. Some key people close to Christie lost their jobs. But that didn't end things and subpeonas are going out. If there is anything incriminating out there it will surely come out. Its just a wait and see game.
I don't know what to think or believe. The whole idea was asinine from the get go.
Fast forward to Bridgegate. I did a lot of reading about this scandal and I watched the very long, televised press conference that Christie had after the scandal broke. He sure seemed sincere in his apologies and his insistence that he didn't know anything about it's planning or execution. I hoped he was telling the truth. Surely, he would not compound the stupidity of this whole mess by adding his denials of any knowledge, especially if there was evidence out there that he knew something or even gave the orders to close the lanes on the George Washington Bridge. If there is proof he knew anything about it at this point, he could kiss his political career good bye.
A couple of things bothered me though. First, he said he had just learned of the fact his staff was involved the morning before the press conference, but later said he had lost TWO nights sleep. I caught that, but then the media highlighted it and questioned it. Everyone was asking why, if he only found out the day before, did he lose two nights sleep? That in itself isn't so incriminating. I'm sure there are many reasons why he could have lost an extra night's sleep. But now there is a second thing weighing on my mind. David Wildstein. Wildstein is the person who ordered the lanes of the George Washington Bridge closed based on an email from Bridget Kelly saying, "time for traffic problems in Fort Lee." Wildstein answered "got ya," as though he had understood her short command and had done this sort of thing before.Wildstein knew Christie in high school. Someone at the press conference asked Christie about their "friendship." Christie downplayed the relationship, saying they went to high school together, they passed each other in the hallways, they haven't seen each other in 20 years or more. Really? Because this doesn't have the ring of truth to it. Why? Well, a special position was created for Wildsten in the Port Authority by the request of Christie, namely Director of Interstate Capital Projects paying over $150,000 per year. A position that never existed before and is being done away with now that Wildstein resigned on the heels of the scandal. Who believes Christie would ask for a position like this for a guy he barely knew existed in high school? I don't. I have some serious concerns about it. To top it off, Wildstein, in an effort to save himself from prison time, is offering up evidence that Christie didn't tell the truth on some matters during his press conference, for immunity. Bridget Kelly and Bill Stepien were subpoenaed to submit documents for the investigation and I heard she refused.
Lastly, Rachael Maddow pointed out something interesting on her show. We all have a hard time thinking Christie would condone wrecking havoc on Fort Lee just because the mayor there didn't endorse him, especially since he admits they didn't ask for his endorsement. But Maddow looked closely at the timing of the event and what happened just before the lane closure went into effect. it seems that Christie, for the first time in I don't know how many years of NJ history, decided not to give a supreme court justice a lifetime appointment after he had served seven years with a very good record. This angered the state senate because there was no reason for it. So in retaliation, every appointment Christie made to fill that seat, was rejected. The night before the traffic jam, another candidate had been rejected and Christie was pissed. The president of the senate lives in Fort Lee. Maddow's theory is that the lane closures were in retaliation for this situation and had nothing to do with the mayor. It seems to make sense. Does that mean Christie knew what was about to happen or did his staff orchestrate the whole thing without his knowledge? Did the governor tell them to do what they have to do to get back at whoever, but he doesn't want to know the details? I don't know. I imagine that happens all the time. Of course, when he asked them about it they lied and/or said nothing. That may be the way it is done to protect the reputation of the leader, so he can say he knows nothing, and the underlings become totally responsible and the scapegoats. Heads have to roll. Some key people close to Christie lost their jobs. But that didn't end things and subpeonas are going out. If there is anything incriminating out there it will surely come out. Its just a wait and see game.
I don't know what to think or believe. The whole idea was asinine from the get go.
Monday, February 10, 2014
The Move Is Over, But It's Not...
I haven't been blogging much at all. As many of you know, after 25 years of living in one house, we moved to a new house back in July. I've had work done on the house and got most of the unpacking done. Then a got bronchitis back in November and that got the best of me for three weeks. When I recuperated, I had to deal with the holidays which I was very much looking forward to in our new home.
I stopped the unpacking and switched over into decorating mode. The tree we had at the old house took some abuse on the way over here and it was too wide anyway. So, my first mission was to get a new, slender tree that would fit perfectly just about anywhere. For the first time I got some nice garland to drape on the banister to the stairway upstairs. Had to get a couple of things for the windows and door too. I kept it simple because I didn't want to overwhelm myself after all I had to deal with the past few months. Thank God I was able to do just about all my shopping online and I started early. But, on the down side, I now had MORE boxes around the house and it looked like I was taking ten steps back instead of making progress. As soon as the tree was up, I wrapped what was in the all the packages and put them under the tree, to clear up the congestion.
Ever since putting the house on the market, I kind of fantasized about the holidays. I thought about baking and cooking with the girls, their usual ritual of wrapping gifts, decorating the tree etc etc. But, in all my reverie, I forgot something...the girls aren't babies any more...they are not even in college. They don't have the kind of time I was looking forward to. No winter breaks, or Christmas vacations. They work. And, they work different shifts. My older daughter gets home at seven at night, while my younger daughter works from three in the afternoon to eleven. They are like ships in the night, their paths cross only on Sunday and Monday nights. I was sad about it, my visions and hopes for the holidays deflated. They knew it too because I never keep my feelings to myself.
To try to compensate for my disappointment, my younger daughter took a week's vacation before Thanksgiving and my older daughter cleared her weekend so we could go shopping all together. It was a nice weekend for shopping and eating. The girls tried to coordinate their time so they could wrap gifts together. Things were slow where my older daughter works, so they were giving employees days off and working at half staff. My daughter took off the days her sister was off so they could be home together with me. Unfortunately, my younger daughter wasn't able to get Christmas Eve off and we had to make the best of it. Maybe this year.
All is all, the holidays turned out to be very nice. Everyone liked their presents, I made all their favorite meals that week: turkey, pot roast, lasagna, and we got to visit our relatives too.
I am finding it hard to get back to the unpacking. I think all the snow has put a damper on my motivation. I am just trying to keep my floor cleaned most of the time. I'm looking forward to spring, like most of the country. This winter had been brutal and relentless. I need to get everything done before the holidays sneak up on me this year!
I stopped the unpacking and switched over into decorating mode. The tree we had at the old house took some abuse on the way over here and it was too wide anyway. So, my first mission was to get a new, slender tree that would fit perfectly just about anywhere. For the first time I got some nice garland to drape on the banister to the stairway upstairs. Had to get a couple of things for the windows and door too. I kept it simple because I didn't want to overwhelm myself after all I had to deal with the past few months. Thank God I was able to do just about all my shopping online and I started early. But, on the down side, I now had MORE boxes around the house and it looked like I was taking ten steps back instead of making progress. As soon as the tree was up, I wrapped what was in the all the packages and put them under the tree, to clear up the congestion.
Ever since putting the house on the market, I kind of fantasized about the holidays. I thought about baking and cooking with the girls, their usual ritual of wrapping gifts, decorating the tree etc etc. But, in all my reverie, I forgot something...the girls aren't babies any more...they are not even in college. They don't have the kind of time I was looking forward to. No winter breaks, or Christmas vacations. They work. And, they work different shifts. My older daughter gets home at seven at night, while my younger daughter works from three in the afternoon to eleven. They are like ships in the night, their paths cross only on Sunday and Monday nights. I was sad about it, my visions and hopes for the holidays deflated. They knew it too because I never keep my feelings to myself.
To try to compensate for my disappointment, my younger daughter took a week's vacation before Thanksgiving and my older daughter cleared her weekend so we could go shopping all together. It was a nice weekend for shopping and eating. The girls tried to coordinate their time so they could wrap gifts together. Things were slow where my older daughter works, so they were giving employees days off and working at half staff. My daughter took off the days her sister was off so they could be home together with me. Unfortunately, my younger daughter wasn't able to get Christmas Eve off and we had to make the best of it. Maybe this year.
All is all, the holidays turned out to be very nice. Everyone liked their presents, I made all their favorite meals that week: turkey, pot roast, lasagna, and we got to visit our relatives too.
I am finding it hard to get back to the unpacking. I think all the snow has put a damper on my motivation. I am just trying to keep my floor cleaned most of the time. I'm looking forward to spring, like most of the country. This winter had been brutal and relentless. I need to get everything done before the holidays sneak up on me this year!
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Our Christmas Is All About Love…
Christmas season starts earlier and earlier every year, and I blame the retailers for rushing things so they can make big profits. But, I was thinking this morning, maybe we do need the extra time to prepare for the holiday because people’s lives are getting more hectic and busier every year. If we aren’t working, running errands, shoveling snow, and all the rest, then we are getting sick with super bugs that turn a normal seven day cold into a three week bronchitis or even a longer pneumonia. Then we are stressed out because we are falling behind on all the things we have to do and we find ourselves rushing around until the last minute to get it all done…even though Christmas started back in October, with Halloween!
Everything that goes into celebrating Christmas we do with love. There’s a long list, from big things to the tiniest things, that go into making this day special for those you care about. There’s the shopping for just the right wrapping paper. I like to have all the Christmas colors and symbols on my paper like red, green, blue, white and snowmen, reindeer, trees and of course Santa. Some of us have to get two different sets of wrapping paper for our wiseass kids who notice that “Santa’s Paper” and our paper happen to be the same. And after you get paper, you need bows and ribbon. And all of these things would serve no purpose without scotch tape…do you get the clear tape or the one that claims to be invisible, but never is? Is there enough tape for the whole family to use? You can’t run out of tape because the stores will be out of it at midnight on December 24th! And then you realize that just as important as the tape are the gift tags! Should we get the ones that peel and stick…they are so much easier than the other kind which will make us use up even more tape! When the girls were little, I signed all the gift tags with “Love, Santa,” and maybe a couple from us. Of course, when they realized the handwriting was the same, I had to start disguising my handwriting. I am doing this all out of love, I really am. When they put out the cookies and milk…we eat them and drink the milk and leave freaking crumbs as evidence. And yet, I could not quell the skepticism that there was no Santa! So I added a large, chocolate thumb print to the note Santa left, thanking them for the cookies. But that’s not enough…no. My older daughter wants to leave an apple for the reindeer. Where the hell did she get that Idea? Who knows? So they leave and apple. I have to take a few bites of the apple and leave a half eaten apple on my end table for them to find in the morning and examine. I go to bed with indigestion, but I am doing this out of love for my children and to keep their innocence alive.
Then there are the decorations! The outdoor decorations, the indoor decorations the decorations for the tree! Oh we have to get just the right tree. If it’s a real tree, you might even want to go cut one down yourself. If it’s a fake tree, you have to bring it up from the basement or down from the attic, a job everyone hates. If you put it up too early, your decorations get dusty. If you put it up too late, there’s bound to be a light that doesn’t work that throws all the others off and you have to find it even if it takes hours. Ain’t nobody got time for that! I love my girls and, although we had a fake tree every year, one year I decided I wanted them to experience a real tree and the delightful pine smell permeating the house. We go to pick one out together. I need a special tree stand so we can water it. We set it up in the corner. My older daughter says she doesn’t like the smell. Who the hell doesn’t like the smell of fresh pine? My younger daughter, who never complains, starts getting congested after a couple of days. I think it’s a cold, but nope…she is allergic to the tree! So much for making new Christmas memories! So it’s time to put up the tree and you have to find just the right place for it. If your house is crowded, you might have to move some furniture so it’s tucked away in a corner and not in a spot that interferes with your daily living. And then you unwrap each ornament with love as you try to find the perfect place to hang it. Our ornaments are mostly all counted cross stitch, handmade by me for my daughters, for each Christmas they’ve had; and the others are from places we have vacationed as a family. To take some of the magic away from the tree decorating experience, which my older daughter finds annoying, she suggests a new tradition. She will put “her” ornaments on one side of the tree and her sister can hang hers on the other side. Why you wonder? Genius that my daughter is, she discovered it makes taking the tree down so much easier and faster when you know where your ornaments are. I give up.
Now to shop for gifts. When the girls were little I just had to go to Toys R Us in October and get just about everything all at once. I even got presents for my in laws and my brother to give them, so these kids were beyond spoiled. However, they got older, and there went my nice routine. No longer could I go to Toys R Us and satisfy their every wish. Now I had to actually think of what to get and their lists never came early. When they do make a list, it comes with instructions. Like the time my daughter wanted the DVDs of a season of The Office…make sure you don’t get the series made in Great Britain, I want the one starring Steve Carell! And I can’t get them any clothes. If I like something, it’s almost guaranteed they will hate it. I am against gift certificates. What am I supposed to do? Wrap up tiny cards and put them under the tree? So I start thinking in October and interrogating them and end up begging for a list so I can “surprise” them for Christmas…because I love them. And I love Amazon too. Every time they mention something I add it to my cart. When I have a dozen things in there I hit the order button and everything comes straight to my door…no shipping, no lines, no wasting gas, no bad weather to go out in. My brother is also impossible. He doesn’t need anything, but I want him to enjoy Christmas too. So every year we go out and get him nice clothes. Sweaters, jeans, shirts, socks, underwear, winter coat, members jacket, pajamas etc etc etc. I never see these clothes that were bought with love…they are in his closet with the tags still on, waiting for a special occasion to wear them. Eventually though, we end up with enough gifts for a decent Christmas and everyone seems happy.
Then there is the Christmas dinner. I love turkey and I like to have it on Thanksgiving and Christmas. But I made the mistake of asking my loved ones what should we have for Christmas dinner? Lasagna, says my younger daughter. Pot roast, says my older daughter. I say I want to have turkey. “But we just had that,” they say in unison. Oy vey. It doesn’t matter that I am the one to shop for the food, prepare and cook the food, serve the food, I get out voted! But I love my girls and live to make them happy. So yesterday I made a huge pot of sauce and bought my lasagna noodles and cheeses so I can make lots of lasagna for tomorrow night’s dinner. A pre-Christmas dinner whose leftovers will make my life easier as I prepare the real Christmas dinner…turkey! But, if you are wondering about the pot roast, don’t worry. I am going to make that the following week for New Year’s day!
Uh oh…there is just one little problem that’s still haunting me…no stocking stuffers! So today, I am off to Kohl’s on my final mission to find something to put into their homemade, cross stitch stockings that are hanging in our new home, flat as pancakes. If I don’t find anything today I will fill them both with love and tissue paper…oh no, did I remember to get tissue paper? Damn it!
Everything that goes into celebrating Christmas we do with love. There’s a long list, from big things to the tiniest things, that go into making this day special for those you care about. There’s the shopping for just the right wrapping paper. I like to have all the Christmas colors and symbols on my paper like red, green, blue, white and snowmen, reindeer, trees and of course Santa. Some of us have to get two different sets of wrapping paper for our wiseass kids who notice that “Santa’s Paper” and our paper happen to be the same. And after you get paper, you need bows and ribbon. And all of these things would serve no purpose without scotch tape…do you get the clear tape or the one that claims to be invisible, but never is? Is there enough tape for the whole family to use? You can’t run out of tape because the stores will be out of it at midnight on December 24th! And then you realize that just as important as the tape are the gift tags! Should we get the ones that peel and stick…they are so much easier than the other kind which will make us use up even more tape! When the girls were little, I signed all the gift tags with “Love, Santa,” and maybe a couple from us. Of course, when they realized the handwriting was the same, I had to start disguising my handwriting. I am doing this all out of love, I really am. When they put out the cookies and milk…we eat them and drink the milk and leave freaking crumbs as evidence. And yet, I could not quell the skepticism that there was no Santa! So I added a large, chocolate thumb print to the note Santa left, thanking them for the cookies. But that’s not enough…no. My older daughter wants to leave an apple for the reindeer. Where the hell did she get that Idea? Who knows? So they leave and apple. I have to take a few bites of the apple and leave a half eaten apple on my end table for them to find in the morning and examine. I go to bed with indigestion, but I am doing this out of love for my children and to keep their innocence alive.
Then there are the decorations! The outdoor decorations, the indoor decorations the decorations for the tree! Oh we have to get just the right tree. If it’s a real tree, you might even want to go cut one down yourself. If it’s a fake tree, you have to bring it up from the basement or down from the attic, a job everyone hates. If you put it up too early, your decorations get dusty. If you put it up too late, there’s bound to be a light that doesn’t work that throws all the others off and you have to find it even if it takes hours. Ain’t nobody got time for that! I love my girls and, although we had a fake tree every year, one year I decided I wanted them to experience a real tree and the delightful pine smell permeating the house. We go to pick one out together. I need a special tree stand so we can water it. We set it up in the corner. My older daughter says she doesn’t like the smell. Who the hell doesn’t like the smell of fresh pine? My younger daughter, who never complains, starts getting congested after a couple of days. I think it’s a cold, but nope…she is allergic to the tree! So much for making new Christmas memories! So it’s time to put up the tree and you have to find just the right place for it. If your house is crowded, you might have to move some furniture so it’s tucked away in a corner and not in a spot that interferes with your daily living. And then you unwrap each ornament with love as you try to find the perfect place to hang it. Our ornaments are mostly all counted cross stitch, handmade by me for my daughters, for each Christmas they’ve had; and the others are from places we have vacationed as a family. To take some of the magic away from the tree decorating experience, which my older daughter finds annoying, she suggests a new tradition. She will put “her” ornaments on one side of the tree and her sister can hang hers on the other side. Why you wonder? Genius that my daughter is, she discovered it makes taking the tree down so much easier and faster when you know where your ornaments are. I give up.
Now to shop for gifts. When the girls were little I just had to go to Toys R Us in October and get just about everything all at once. I even got presents for my in laws and my brother to give them, so these kids were beyond spoiled. However, they got older, and there went my nice routine. No longer could I go to Toys R Us and satisfy their every wish. Now I had to actually think of what to get and their lists never came early. When they do make a list, it comes with instructions. Like the time my daughter wanted the DVDs of a season of The Office…make sure you don’t get the series made in Great Britain, I want the one starring Steve Carell! And I can’t get them any clothes. If I like something, it’s almost guaranteed they will hate it. I am against gift certificates. What am I supposed to do? Wrap up tiny cards and put them under the tree? So I start thinking in October and interrogating them and end up begging for a list so I can “surprise” them for Christmas…because I love them. And I love Amazon too. Every time they mention something I add it to my cart. When I have a dozen things in there I hit the order button and everything comes straight to my door…no shipping, no lines, no wasting gas, no bad weather to go out in. My brother is also impossible. He doesn’t need anything, but I want him to enjoy Christmas too. So every year we go out and get him nice clothes. Sweaters, jeans, shirts, socks, underwear, winter coat, members jacket, pajamas etc etc etc. I never see these clothes that were bought with love…they are in his closet with the tags still on, waiting for a special occasion to wear them. Eventually though, we end up with enough gifts for a decent Christmas and everyone seems happy.
Then there is the Christmas dinner. I love turkey and I like to have it on Thanksgiving and Christmas. But I made the mistake of asking my loved ones what should we have for Christmas dinner? Lasagna, says my younger daughter. Pot roast, says my older daughter. I say I want to have turkey. “But we just had that,” they say in unison. Oy vey. It doesn’t matter that I am the one to shop for the food, prepare and cook the food, serve the food, I get out voted! But I love my girls and live to make them happy. So yesterday I made a huge pot of sauce and bought my lasagna noodles and cheeses so I can make lots of lasagna for tomorrow night’s dinner. A pre-Christmas dinner whose leftovers will make my life easier as I prepare the real Christmas dinner…turkey! But, if you are wondering about the pot roast, don’t worry. I am going to make that the following week for New Year’s day!
Uh oh…there is just one little problem that’s still haunting me…no stocking stuffers! So today, I am off to Kohl’s on my final mission to find something to put into their homemade, cross stitch stockings that are hanging in our new home, flat as pancakes. If I don’t find anything today I will fill them both with love and tissue paper…oh no, did I remember to get tissue paper? Damn it!
Friday, November 8, 2013
“The Cardholder“…A New Novel
It was only two months ago when I blogged about my friend, Kelly O’Callan’s, first book, “Breaking Limbo.” The book is doing well and Kelly has gone on to get her second novel, “The Cardholder,” ready for publication. I read the rough draft of the Cardholder over a year ago and loved it. So when Kelly said she was working on getting it ready to be published, I volunteered to edit it for her. I’ve read this book at least four times and honestly didn’t want it to end. Then I thought, why should it end? Kelly left the door wide open for a sequel…though she didn’t realize it. I planted a few seeds and now maybe she can produce a continuation of the story. In the meantime, I will help her promote this book which I loved from start to finish.
“The Cardholder” is a psychological suspense novel. For me it has a “Hitchcock” feel to it. The first time I read it, I planned on stopping at some point and continuing the next day, but I just couldn’t do it. I kept saying, I’ll just read one more chapter. Every chapter pulled me in and I had to keep going.
The story is about a prominent Philadelphia marriage/couples therapist named Maggie Simmons. Maggie has it all: career and active practice, husband and son, loving mother and adoring sister. One day a new patient, Mickey Dillon, comes in to see her with an unusual request for help. Maggie hesitates to take him on, however her ego will not allow her to pass up this challenge. In Maggie’s zeal to be successful with Mick’s case she crosses several professional and ethical lines, including involving her own sister, Annie. Before long, Maggie’s choices end up having a series of serious consequences. The woman who once had everything and a seemingly perfect life, loses it all. The end of the story has a very surprising and unexpected twist that will blow you away.
I hope you will check out her e-book on Amazon in the Kindle version and it is also available for Nook and in print. The links are all posted below. I just know you will love this book as much as I do.
Kindle http://www.amazon.com/The-Cardholder-Kelly-OCallan-ebook/dp/B00GDQD4SK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1383919911&sr=8-1&keywords=the+cardholder
Nook http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-cardholder-kelly-ocallan/1117325675?ean=2940148891178
Print https://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.createspace.com%2F4487910&h=UAQE4nsDL
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
My Mother The Angel With “Horns…”
It’s very hard, knowing my mother as I do, to picture her in heaven today, on her 97th birthday. When I think of angels, I picture delicate, pure, kind souls with wings. But when I think of my mother, I see a little angel with horns, because she had a mischievous, bordering on slightly devilishly, trait about her. I almost feel like she is up there running some things and raising a little hell.
My mother had a big heart and was kind and compassionate. She was a nurturer and a caregiver. It came naturally to her, almost like she couldn’t help herself. If someone needed her, she was always there. Even though she was the youngest of three sisters, she was the one they came to in times of trouble, even when she was the one who caused the trouble. For example, you may recall the blog I did on how my mother had her older sister’s fiancé picked up by immigration, only to have to help her bail him out when her sister called for her help.
My mother’s halo may be a little tarnished too. What mother tells a four year old not to tell her father about calls she was making every morning to her bookie? What mother, when she receives her favorite plant, red carnations, for Mother’s Day, tells her kids, “Why did you buy these, they are only going to die?” She had comments for plenty of gifts we got, like, “How much did they soak you for that?” and “You are wasting your money” when it came to things like jewelry and flowers. Then again, she never complained about boxes of chocolate. Those were quickly unwrapped and devoured without a peep. She appreciated lottery tickets, especially the scratch offs. Those were never a waste of money. She also didn’t raise hell when she got practical things like housedresses, nightgowns and slippers, but it would be a long, long time before you’d see her use them. She was always saving new things for the future even though she needed them at the time.
My mother was overly critical too. I was a naïve glutton for punishment and would ask to do chores like clean the bathroom. Maybe I was trying to win her approval or just plain stupid. One day she let me clean it. After being in there maybe an hour, I called her for inspection. I hoped to hear some praise, but instead she critiqued the work I had done. She showed me all the places I had skipped “to teach” me the right way to do it. The same went for ironing. She wanted me to iron her way because naturally my way was all wrong. Now you might think she was being helpful and not critical so let me give you another example. My brother brought home a report card once and all his grades were 90 and above. In the parent’s comment box my mother wrote, “I will see to it that he tries harder.” I cannot tell you how many times we have laughed till we cried over that one. We still have that report card too. Then there was the time I was dancing to American Bandstand one Saturday afternoon. When I felt I had perfected the dance steps, I called her in to watch me dance. After a couple of minutes she tells me I am no gazelle and have two left feet. In later years I discovered on my own that I have absolutely no rhythm and grace, my brother got all the genes for that. My mother was just being honest…to a fault. And once, when I told her I wanted to grow up and enter the Miss America pageant, she told me I wouldn’t win. She said I was too plain. So I instantly abandoned that idea because if your own mother won’t vote for you, who the hell will?
My mother was a smart cookie and insightful too. She had loads of common sense and you would have never known she was forced to leave school half way through ninth grade. She always valued an education and made sure that we went to college. My father thought college was a waste of time and money for girls. But my mother would tell him that I was going. She wanted to make sure I would be able to support myself and not be dependent on a man. My father clammed up. Four years later, when I was about to graduate, I brought up the idea of my going to law school. My father was all for it, but my mother said, “When the hell are you going to leave school and get a job?” What a difference four years makes!
I don’t know what things they do up in heaven, but I am pretty sure my mother is adding her two cents. I’ll bet she is criticizing the other angels or bossing them around or creating a little havoc, because she sure as hell is not just quietly floating on some cloud. If she is with her brothers and sisters, then you can be sure they are playing poker or gossiping or rehashing family history. If they have a race track in heaven, my mother will be at the ticket window placing bets. And, I’m sure that much of the time she is watching over us down here and putting in a good word for us up there when we need it. I think she is probably bragging about her children and grandchildren and showing our pictures to every angel that will listen…until we join her…then we will get no credit. My mother isn’t going to change just because she is an angel. And if her halo is a little tarnished and her horns come out every now and then, I’ll bet they love her all the more for it.
It's hard to believe my mother passed away almost nine years ago. We really miss her so much and she said we would.
My mother had a big heart and was kind and compassionate. She was a nurturer and a caregiver. It came naturally to her, almost like she couldn’t help herself. If someone needed her, she was always there. Even though she was the youngest of three sisters, she was the one they came to in times of trouble, even when she was the one who caused the trouble. For example, you may recall the blog I did on how my mother had her older sister’s fiancé picked up by immigration, only to have to help her bail him out when her sister called for her help.
My mother’s halo may be a little tarnished too. What mother tells a four year old not to tell her father about calls she was making every morning to her bookie? What mother, when she receives her favorite plant, red carnations, for Mother’s Day, tells her kids, “Why did you buy these, they are only going to die?” She had comments for plenty of gifts we got, like, “How much did they soak you for that?” and “You are wasting your money” when it came to things like jewelry and flowers. Then again, she never complained about boxes of chocolate. Those were quickly unwrapped and devoured without a peep. She appreciated lottery tickets, especially the scratch offs. Those were never a waste of money. She also didn’t raise hell when she got practical things like housedresses, nightgowns and slippers, but it would be a long, long time before you’d see her use them. She was always saving new things for the future even though she needed them at the time.
My mother was overly critical too. I was a naïve glutton for punishment and would ask to do chores like clean the bathroom. Maybe I was trying to win her approval or just plain stupid. One day she let me clean it. After being in there maybe an hour, I called her for inspection. I hoped to hear some praise, but instead she critiqued the work I had done. She showed me all the places I had skipped “to teach” me the right way to do it. The same went for ironing. She wanted me to iron her way because naturally my way was all wrong. Now you might think she was being helpful and not critical so let me give you another example. My brother brought home a report card once and all his grades were 90 and above. In the parent’s comment box my mother wrote, “I will see to it that he tries harder.” I cannot tell you how many times we have laughed till we cried over that one. We still have that report card too. Then there was the time I was dancing to American Bandstand one Saturday afternoon. When I felt I had perfected the dance steps, I called her in to watch me dance. After a couple of minutes she tells me I am no gazelle and have two left feet. In later years I discovered on my own that I have absolutely no rhythm and grace, my brother got all the genes for that. My mother was just being honest…to a fault. And once, when I told her I wanted to grow up and enter the Miss America pageant, she told me I wouldn’t win. She said I was too plain. So I instantly abandoned that idea because if your own mother won’t vote for you, who the hell will?
My mother was a smart cookie and insightful too. She had loads of common sense and you would have never known she was forced to leave school half way through ninth grade. She always valued an education and made sure that we went to college. My father thought college was a waste of time and money for girls. But my mother would tell him that I was going. She wanted to make sure I would be able to support myself and not be dependent on a man. My father clammed up. Four years later, when I was about to graduate, I brought up the idea of my going to law school. My father was all for it, but my mother said, “When the hell are you going to leave school and get a job?” What a difference four years makes!
I don’t know what things they do up in heaven, but I am pretty sure my mother is adding her two cents. I’ll bet she is criticizing the other angels or bossing them around or creating a little havoc, because she sure as hell is not just quietly floating on some cloud. If she is with her brothers and sisters, then you can be sure they are playing poker or gossiping or rehashing family history. If they have a race track in heaven, my mother will be at the ticket window placing bets. And, I’m sure that much of the time she is watching over us down here and putting in a good word for us up there when we need it. I think she is probably bragging about her children and grandchildren and showing our pictures to every angel that will listen…until we join her…then we will get no credit. My mother isn’t going to change just because she is an angel. And if her halo is a little tarnished and her horns come out every now and then, I’ll bet they love her all the more for it.
It's hard to believe my mother passed away almost nine years ago. We really miss her so much and she said we would.
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