Move-In Condition???

"The" house! See the little awning over the top bedroom windows?

The wood is almost bare from the paint that peeled off it.

Did I mention there is a condominium next door?

I’m sorry if I have been neglecting my blog the past couple of weeks. I do try to write everyday, if possible, but I have been trying to clean and declutter my house and also I haven’t slept well, which makes me too tired to complain unless I am really, really peeved. Now for today’s blog…

When I first met with the Realtor a couple of weeks ago, I specified what I was looking for in a house. I said I wanted a brick one family house, preferably detached, on a quiet street, with a garage, a finished basement or walk-in apartment and two bathrooms. I would like it if it was in move in condition or as close to that as possible. Yesterday he calls to take me to a house. I already know it’s not what I am looking for, but I agree to go just so I can tell him EXACTLY what I want and what I don’t want. I was pretty pleasant too, considering it was 98 degrees outside.

The house he wanted me to see is a frame house, semi-detached on a busy neighborhood street. It has a huge telephone pole, full of wires right in front of the house, OH, it also has a bus stop right in front of the house. No parking on the street. No garage either, just a driveway. As my husband and I wait, I take a good look at the outside of the house. The little “garden” in front has been cemented away and so has the backyard, except for a tiny patch of dirt where an overgrown rosebush is growing out of control. I look at the house and see that there are three different colors and types of siding. A darker green in the front, a lighter green on the side and white on top, where the second floor is. Sigh. I’m disgusted before he even gets there. Finally he shows up. He tells me the woman spent money on this house, so I am hoping that it shows on the inside.

Living Room (looks better in picture)

He is all too happy to take me inside. As we enter I see there is black designed tile on the floor and the woodwork around the windows is painted black with white walls. He tells me the woman who lived there is Italian and liked tiles…that is a an understatement.

Trust me it's worse in person! Dining Room pft!

The next room is the “formal” dining room. It’s really not big enough for a formal dining room, but that’s not all. The ceramic tiles in that room are a dark cantaloupe color and so are the walls. In the middle of the ceiling hangs a large, black light fixture like you wouldn’t believe. The ceiling is low and the thing hangs about two feet down, so that if you are five foot nine and walk into it you might get decapitated. The light fixture has two, round fans on either side of it. I wish I could find a picture of it so you could see it. My words just can’t do this thing justice, but it’s memory is burned into my brain. I suppress the urge to run out the front door. Next room is the kitchen…oy vey.

Ugh! The kitchen.

We walk into a nice size kitchen. Her color theme is black and red. Black refrigerator and stove, red counters and suddenly I feel like I’m on a checker board. I hate it. The Cabinets are old style, like the kind that were around in my grandmother’s day. There was a half bath off the kitchen, but does that really matter? Off to the “finished” basement.

There is no banister to hold on to going downstairs. I have to tell you that I was so traumatized by the upstairs that I don’t remember the basement except for two things: one window was broken and patched up with clear, contact and the door to the meters was wrapped up like a present with a bow on it. Now I feel like I am on “Let’s Make A Deal” wondering what’s behind door number two. Finally we are off to see the bedrooms.

The first bedroom we walk into I ask, “Is this the Master Bedroom?” He says, “Well yes it’s the largest, but it doesn’t have a bathroom right off it.” I say, “Where am I supposed to put my furniture? I have a full bedroom set.” The layout of the room does not allow for anything to fit right, not even part of the bedroom. Two windows on the only decent wall prevent me from putting anything there. The two side walls” one has a chimney going up the middle of one, the other has a roof type extension coming out. The last wall, opposite the windows has a wall to wall closet that takes up two to three feet of the room with it’s depth. Now I can hardly wait to see the other two rooms. Keep in mind there are tiles on every floor that do NOT suit me.

The next bedroom is small and I hardly even look at it. At this point I have seen more than enough. The bathroom is ok, but I’m not thrilled with it. The last bedroom is painted in a very bright, HOT pink that burned the retinas of my eye. The ceiling was light blue with silver clouds. The floor tiles were one inch square iridescent tiles. And there we stayed while the Realtor took a phone call. It was hot and I was pretty disgusted. Evidently it was even too hideous for the Realtors to take pictures of it.

When he is done we go downstairs. We start to talk. He says she was asking $625,000 a year ago and she is down to $545,000. I said I think it’s overpriced and to tell you the truth, if she took off $100,000 right now I wouldn’t want it. I tell him this exactly the kind of house I don’t want. He asked if there was anything at all I liked about it? I said to be honest with you, no there isn’t. I told him to please find me something he thinks I would like so I know we are on the same page when I really need to start looking. We agree to do that. After a few more minutes of chatting we part ways.

The bad news is I hated the two houses I saw and this one made the last one look good. The good news is that I get happier and more content with the house I am in. Thanks for hanging in there till the end. Rereading this all gave me a stomachache.