The nest is empty. My younger daughter has moved out. Yesterday was the first official day of the next phase of Act III of our lives. It's going to take some adjusting for me. In Act I of my life I dreamed of being a mother. In Act II of my life I was blessed to have two beautiful girls to love, nurture and raise. In Act III I am left with my husband and a small olive tree to take care of. The cycle of life. This is how it's supposed to be. I know it, everyone knows it. It's not that I am not happy for my girls. In fact, truth be told, I always prayed they would find young men who would love, honor and be true life partners. They have both found love and what more can I ask for? Nothing. But it's a bitter-sweet moment for me. I'm going to indulge myself with a little pity party today and then get over it.
I remember a scene from the movie, "Marty," where one of the old Italian sisters laments to the the other about her son moving out. She asks her, "What are you gonna do when Marty gets married? What are you gonna do? You have nobody to cook for, nobody to clean for. It's a terrible life, I tell you." A bit overdramatic, but I'm sure many a mom has felt that way. We always know this day is coming and somehow we are never totally prepared for it. We can still be mothers, but from a distance.
My older daughter moved out three and a half years ago. I had a half-empty nest. That wasn't so bad. In fact, I found my own little ways to keep mothering without interfering. Every week, before I go food shopping, I always asks if she needs anything from the store. If I see items she uses or likes on sale, I'll pick them up and drop them off or wait till she visits to give them to her. If I cook something I know she enjoys, I'll make extra for her and deliver it. Today I am making her some egg salad that she can eat for breakfast this week. Little things like that make me feel like I am still doing something useful. I'll probably do the same for my younger daughter. Once a mom, always a mom.
In a couple of months my first grandchild will arrive. It's a baby girl. She's coming at the perfect time in my life and I know she will be the love of my life . . . of all our lives. I can't wait for her to get here and so I can relive all the moments and things I shared with my girls. I think I'll make a wonderful grandma and spoil her with just the right amount of indulgences. I am looking forward to watching my daughter as she raises her own daughter. I am curious to see her mothering style and how it might be similar and different than mine. I'll be ready with advice, if she needs it. My little empty nest may start to fill up with grandchildren, and I will love them all and look forward to their visits.
But today I miss being a mom. I miss the days when my girls were growing up. Every stage they went through was wonderful. We made the most of our time together. I treasure every moment of raising my girls and I always will.
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