Faith And Hope: A Conversation…

Before my husband and I had children, we discussed how we would raise them and the subject of religion came up. Neither of us went to church on Sundays or adhered to the rules very strictly. We didn’t go to confession, we ate meat on Fridays during Lent, and we didn’t get ashes on Ash Wednesday. But, we did obey the ten commandments and try to live good lives, as best as our imperfect selves would allow us. But when it came to our children, I wanted them to have a good religious upbringing and faith. I believed faith was important, and along with it comes the power of hope. How many times had faith and hope gotten me through life’s difficult moments? I wanted to be sure they had that in their lives. We did try to instill faith and religious beliefs in our children, but I will admit, we could have done a better job. They went for religious instruction from the ages of seven to thirteen, as the church required, and made all their sacraments (baptism, communion and confirmation). When my older daughter was sixteen, the pedophile priest scandal broke out. My younger daughter was about to receive confirmation in three months. I wasn’t a happy camper about this turn of events, but felt she should finished what she started in case she wanted to marry in the church in the future and needed it.

It was at this time that my older daughter informed us that she was an atheist. Frankly, I was stunned, but honestly thought this is just a phase she is going through and she will snap out of it. She explained to me all her reasons for not believing in God or any of the Bible “stories.” I told her she should keep an open mind and do research before she dropped her faith. She told me she had been researching and that she was going to continue, but she had pretty much made up her mind. I blame it on her high intelligence and science. Science has really pretty much done a number on religion. Religion was created by man centuries ago to explain things that were unexplainable at the time. However, science has managed to explain away almost everything and added to the scandals of the church, it makes it hard to believe in anything. I understood where she was coming from and still hoped she would manage to find her faith in tact in the end.

At about this same time, I was diagnosed with a rare cancer. I was devastated and scared. I called everyone I knew to tell them and to ask them to pray for me. The irony that my own daughter could not pray for me because she didn’t believe in God or heaven, saddened me. I felt if God was going to listen to anyone’s prayers in this matter, it would be hers, but none would be forthcoming. She was an atheist.

One day, while we were talking in her room, I told her that it bothered me that she did not believe in God. I explained how she wouldn’t get into heaven even though she is living life as a good person should. I asked her, “What will you do when the time comes and you find out there is a God and heaven waiting for you, but you can’t get in?” I told her, with tear filled eyes, that I had needed her prayers and was sad that she couldn’t offer any for me. And then she looked at me, tears streaming down her face, and she told me she felt bad for me. She told me she was afraid that when I died I would find out there was no God and no heaven and this was all there is. She said she was the one who felt sad for me because I would be very disappointed. I didn’t know which one of us to feel more sorry for. It really was a profound moment we shared. There was no way for me to change her beliefs. Her knowledge and experience lead her to this place. I felt partly responsible because I had not made religion a more important part of our lives. My parents never made religion a priority, but my brother and I grew up with out faith in tact. Who knows what would have happened or if it would have changed anything for her had we done things differently. It is what it is. I love my daughter and I always will.

It’s now ten years later and she is still an atheist. It doesn’t seem to bother her that she is missing a religious dimension to her life. I don’t know how she gets along without prayer or where she gets her hope from, if she has any. Maybe we need to have a new conversation so I can understand it better.

The Power of Faith...

I’ve always noticed that in times of trouble or when we are struggling, faith plays an important role in getting us through those times. It’s not just faith in a higher being based on any religion, though that seems to be the most common way we view faith. We hear some bad news and we start to pray, having faith that our prayers will be answered or miracles can happen. But, if our prayers aren’t answered, we say it wasn’t in God’s plan. And we persevere with that thought. If a loved one loses their battle with an illness, we grieve and, at the same time, have faith that they are in a better place and no longer suffering. But there is a lot more to faith than just the religious aspect. Faith plays an important role in our lives.

Faith is necessary to get us through the hurdles and to have a fulfilling and productive live. Faith is what gives us strength. It helps us believe that things can, do and will get better. Faith teaches us that nothing is impossible and things will turn out for the best at some point, if we don’t give up and believe they will. When we have faith, we believe in a good outcome and we work towards that with mind, heart and body. We can make things happen, even through our subconscious actions, if we believe we can. Many doubters say, “I will believe it when I see it.” But those with faith know they will “see it, if they believe it.” 

There is no limit to faith. How many things has the human race accomplished through perseverance that were once thought to be impossible? How many of our own prayers have been answered? How many of our goals have been achieved because we had faith in ourselves? Faith is really an invaluable resource that makes us resilient and able to keep fighting even when we feel like giving up. 

Everyone has faith, but some of us use it the wrong way. Some have faith that nothing they do will turn out right and it becomes a self-fulfilling negative prophecy. But if we use faith in a positive way there is no limit to what we can accomplish. Faith helps lessen worry and anxiety, and gives us confidence and power. We just have to focus on the things we can do, not worry about the things that are out of our control. Be opened minded and think positively and good things will happen.

I think I have always had faith in myself and my abilities without really realizing it. I have been fortunate in life to have people I can trust and have faith in as well. Of course, my faith in God has gotten me through many a life crisis. I don’t think we take time to consider what a tremendous impact faith has on our lives. If we did, we would focus on it more, cultivate it, and make it work for us and not against us. Just food for thought.