RIP James Gandolfini aka Tony Soprano

I never heard of James Gandolfini before the HBO series, the Sopranos. We don’t even have HBO so I might never have watched the series. But, the reviews of the series were so great that we decided to rent season one and see if we would like it. I loved it. After that we patiently waited and bought every season at Christmas-time and watched a Sopranos marathon. The truth is I could not wait to watch all of it, so we went through a season in about four days, watching three episodes a day. I loved it so much that I didn’t fast forward through the opening theme song or the clips from the previous show, even though I had just watched it.

“I woke up this morning and got yourself a gun” is playing over and over in my head now as I am still in shock over the sudden passing of James Gandolfini, who will forever be known as Tony Soprano, to me. I never knew it was an Alabama 3 song, I just assumed it was written for the series. It was perfect. And, James Gandolfini was the perfect crime boss, Tony Soprano

I ended up watching the entire series several times. So much happens that you miss and the good thing about my bad memory is that a lot of it seem brand new. It was so easy to get sucked into the drama of the show and the characters. The writing was phenomenal as was the acting. If you loved the Godfather, you should love the series. Some might think that the show glorifies the mafia lifestyle, but in actuality, it doesn’t. Sure they make big money committing crimes and live lavishly, but there is a price to be paid. The “made men” always cheat on their wives. That is a given, and the wives have to live with that fact. Tony had several mistresses during the series. Carmela knew about some of them and hated it. But Tony would just answer, you knew who I was when you married me. And the mistresses (goomadas) were the ones taken to parties and lavished with gifts and apartments, while the wives stayed home taking care of the kids and the house.

The Mafia is made up of different crime “families,” headed by bosses like Tony Soprano, who compete with each other for money making operations. Agreements and deals often go wrong between them and people get “whacked.” Tony had his share of near death experiences and, like a faithful and loyal mafia wife, Carmela was right there worrying about him and nursing him back to health. Worrying is a way of life. You have to worry about getting killed, you have to worry about the Feds closing in on you, you have to worry about “rats” giving law enforcement evidence to save their own skin. Soon, as a viewer, you start to worry about all the mafia characters getting hurt. You have compassion for poor Tony because of the tremendous stress he is under every day. And we wind up rooting for the “bad” guys, even against law enforcement.

As I watched the show, I don’t know how many times I was concerned for Tony (and James Gandolfini) because of his excess weight. He seemed to put on more weight over the course of the series. His breathing was often labored. My husband and I would comment about it, worrying he might have a heart attack one day. If you ever watched the show you may have noticed it too, it was pretty obvious. I didn’t think it was “acting” on James Gandolfini’s part. I often wondered why he didn’t lose some weight so he could at least breathe comfortably. I wondered why it was obvious to me, but not to the cast, crew, family and friends of James Gandolfini? I don’t know if he was under a doctor’s care, but he should have been. Maybe this heart attack could have been avoided. We will never know. It’s so sad to lose someone so young, who impacted so many lives. I read that James just had a baby daughter in October with his second wife. A baby girl who will never really know her father except for what she will be told and from watching his work. Unfortunately, the Sopranos has scenes and language which are not fit for young eyes and ears. It will be a long time before she will be able to view the show that made her father a household name. The other thing that makes this an even sadder event is that James was in Italy with his teenage son, Michael. The were having a “guy” trip together. It was Michael who found his father in distress and called the medics, who were unable to revive his father.

The rest of us who knew James Gandolfini even just through his role on the Sopranos, are greatly sadden by his passing. Who would have thought that Tony Soprano would have survived a mafia family all out war, but poor James Gandolfini would succumb to a heart attack?

Rest in peace James Gandolfini. You will be greatly missed.
Sopranos Theme Song

RIP Ernest Borgnine…

Ever since I was a young kid, I would hear my mother say deaths come in threes. And, it always seemed like they did. Three celebrities would invariable die within a few days to a couple of weeks of each other. I just accepted it. Then I had my own kids and tried to pass on this piece of wisdom to them. My older daughter wouldn’t buy it and gave me a hard time about it. How famous do all the people have to be? What is the time limit between deaths? Etc etc etc. She is always a pain in the neck like that, questioning everything to death. Of course, I didn’t have the answers to all her questions because I just accepted my mother’s words as true without skepticism. I gave up trying to get my daughter to accept it.

Ernest Borgnine died today. It’s just 5 days after Andy Griffith died. It’s within the “death comes in threes” timetable. Another icon from my childhood is gone. But Ernest, like Andy, was up there in years. He had a long and happy life. His acting career was amazing. There wasn’t a part he played that I didn’t enjoy. There was something very special about him and in act he reminds me quite a bit of ndy Griffith in that he smiled a lot and for a big man, he had a very gentle nature.

My favorite movie of Ernest Borgnine is “Marty.” My husband introduced me to it years ago because he liked character movies. Ernie played an Italian man, in his thirties, who never married and lived with his mother. Everyone in his family is married, siblings and cousins. Marty can’t seem to find the right girl. He wants to be married, but he has low self esteem and doesn’t think he is very good looking. He suffers many rejections and heartache because he is really a very sensitive guy. Marty’s mother, family and friends are typical Italians. They want to see everyone married. They badger Marty all the time about his not being married. It only pours salt in his open wounds. The movie tells a good story, and it is full of typical Italian ways and thinking. Being Italian myself, I could relate to it and even had a few laughs, as I could recognize some of my own relatives in the dialogue. I won’t spoil the movie by explaining everything that happens, but I do recommend it if you are an Ernest Borgnine fan.

Ernest Borgnine will be greatly missed. His work has touched generations of people. Most of the actors today don’t come close to measuring up to the likes of Ernest Borgnine. It’s another sad day. Rest in peace Ernest Borgnine.

Note: I know I have been slacking on the blogs lately, but I have been working very hard on the house and haven been to tired to crank out a blog. I couldn't let the day go by without saying a few words for Ernest Borgnine. Now I am afraid my blog is looking more and more like an obituary. Bear with me, I hope to be back to writing regularly soon.

RIP Andy Griffith…

Another piece of my childhood gone.

Andy Griffith died yesterday. He was 86 and had a long, good and fulfilling life. I imagine he loved acting, he was always so good at it. Something about him was so charismatic. I loved him as the sheriff of Mayberry and as Matlock. I watched those shows religiously. I grew up watching Andy and whistling the ever popular theme song. I loved the way he would wolf down those hotdogs in Matlock at the end of many episodes, saying, “Hmmmmmm hmmmmm.” 

I loved the way he told stories, he had you hanging on his every word. And he had grin from ear to ear that would make you forget your problems and smile with him and at him. A man of many talents, he played the guitar and sang, and incorporated his love for music into his characters. I never knew it, but Andy had a degree in music and was a high school English teacher, before going into acting. He has touched the hearts of generations of fans over his lifetime.

I’m not surprised that Andy didn’t get caught up in the Hollywood lifestyle. He lived his life in North Carolina, with his wife. She issued a statement following his death:  “He is the love of my life, my constant companion, my partner, and my best friend. I cannot imagine life without Andy, but I take comfort and strength in God’s Grace and in the knowledge that Andy is at peace and with God.”

Andy made a lot of people happy. May he rest in peace.

Dick Clark, R.I.P.

New Year's Eve will never be the same again.

Well another icon from my childhood is gone and it leaves me wondering who is left? Dick Clark was there for as long as I can remember. Dick Clark never seemed to age, he always had a very youthful appearance. When I was a kid I would dance in front of the television every Saturday afternoon to the pop tunes on American Bandstand. A studio full of teenagers would dance to the music and then rate the song, based on good it was to dance to and listen to. “I give it a 7” or an 8 or 9 even a 10. I would try to guess how the different songs would be rated. I tried to pick up some dance moves. I thought I was doing great, so did Dick Clark (in my mind), but my mother would walk in and say, “You have two left feet,” just to keep me grounded.

  (When I mentioned to my daughter that I was doing a blog on Dick Clark and started the story about American Bandstand, she replied, "Yes I know, you had two left feet." I said, "Oh you read my blog! Wait I didn't post it yet!" She said that shows you how often you have told the story! I really get no respect!)

When Guy Lombardo died in 1977, New Year’s Eve was up for grabs. My mother was so upset about Guy. Watching Guy Lombardo on New Year’s Eve, with all the family, was a tradition in our household. Guy’s band would play all the old songs until it was time for the ball to drop in Times Square. Once all the hugging and kissing and saying Happy New Year was over, my Aunt Mary handed us all pots and spoons to go bang outside. No Guy Lombardo meant no more New Year’s Eve. But, Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve was on another channel. It started in 1974 and so, when New Year’s Eve rolled around, we ended up putting him on. Actually, the younger members of my family, who had been dancing with Dick Clark every week, preferred his up to date popular music to the old tunes of Guy Lombardo. The show ended up lasting 38 years, compared to Guy Lombardo’s 21 years. Ryan Seacrest has hosted Dick Clarks Rockin’ New Year’s Eve the past few years and I guess he will be taking over from here on in. I can’t help, but be sad at the loss of Dick Clark. He was part of my childhood memories and New Year’s family celebrations.

I know Dick Clark lived a long, fulfilling, successful life. He has brought joy to generations of people over many decades. Yesterday I saw a young man tweet and ask, “Who is Dick Clark?” It made me even sadder to think how quickly he will be replaced and forgotten. I guess that’s to be expected. No one lives forever, not even the ever young looking Dick Clark. Time caught up with him in the end.  He will be missed by all of us who do know who Dick Clark is because we grew up with him.

Whitney Houston, RIP

I was shocked just like everyone else last night when the news broke that Whitney Houston was dead. I had no idea she was so young. Only 48 years old and she has been an icon in the music industry since her career first began. It seemed like she had been around forever. Her song, “I Will Always Love You” could never be replicated by another singer, though some have come close. That was her song and the song I identified with her and her alone. It’s so tragic and it’s a great loss we have all suffered.

They don’t have a cause of death yet, but it has been reported that she seemed healthy and beautiful when seen a few days earlier. We all know about her long struggle with addiction and who knows if drugs were the cause. Her body has taken so much abuse, physically, emotionally, mentally and chemically. My heart goes out to her daughter, Bobbi Kristina, who lost her mother. I saw Whitney’s two day interview with Oprah in 2009. She had released a new album, “I Look To You.” Her daughter was there supporting her mother. Whitney talked about her life and addiction openly. She seemed to have found her way back on track with the help and love of her daughter. The two seemed very close.

I remember that Whitney went on a world tour, called Nothing But Love, soon after that interview and it was a dismal failure in Australia, where the audience booed her and many walked out on her performance. It was promoted as her comeback tour. But, her voice wasn’t the same, the reviews were very bad. I don’t know who thought she was ready for something like that, but they set her up for a huge failure and overwhelming embarrassment. Maybe that set her back? I don’t know. The world can be a very cruel place.

Whitney was in town for the Grammys in LA. They found her dead in her hotel room. Tonight, Jennifer Hudson is going to do a special tribute to Whitney. I don’t think there will be a dry eye in the house.

There will never be another Whitney Houston. She was one of a kind. I feel we were blessed to have had her and know her in our lifetimes. It’s just so sad that the events in her life caused her to cut short her career and her life. She should have been singing for decades. I think everyone is thinking the same thing today…Whitney Houston, We Will Always Love You. RIP

Fraternity Hazing and Death…

How long has fraternity hazing been going on? I remember reading about it for years. Every time a young man dies, because it is usually a young man, the news media reports the death and the surrounding circumstances. Everyone is shocked and saddened that a young and promising life is lost to the over consumption of alcohol during a hazing ritual. And yet, it is still going on.

Today I came across an article about a young man who died in such a related event. He was 19 years old and attending an Ivy League school, Cornell. His name was George Desdunes. He was a good looking, intelligent young man who was there for a quality education. He wanted to join Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity which was founded in Alabama in the 1850’s and has 241 chapters around the country. They currently report that 11,000 undergraduates are members. Now they are missing one member, George Desdunes. What happened to George?

George grew up in Brooklyn and was an active member of his church and earned scholarships. He attended Cornell hoping to become a doctor one day. He was described by friends as being very giving and loving, an unusual teenage boy.

George’s life was cut short when, back in February, he was involved in a hazing ritual that began with a mock kidnapping. Fraternity members bound his wrists and ankles with duct tape and made him drink alcohol until he was unconscious. Then he was dumped on a couch at the frat house and left to die. The autopsy showed his blood alcohol was 5 times the legal limit in New York. The three frat brothers involved in the incident were charged with misdemeanors and pleaded “not guilty.”

I don’t know anyone who can read this and not get angry over the senseless tragedy that occurred here and many other times before. So many lives lost for no reason at all. George joined the fraternity as a way of making possible contacts for future employment. He was 19. The law in New York State makes it illegal for anyone under 21 to drink, but these other members forced him to consume a lethal amount of alcohol and are just facing misdemeanor hazing charges?

What the hell is wrong with this picture? They are responsible for a young man’s death and yet are facing minor charges. They are still in school; right now they are on summer vacation. But, George’s body lies in a grave and his mother cries. Where are the consequences and why aren’t they made to take responsibility? Why should students change their hazing practices? Why should they not binge on alcohol and force others to do so, when the consequences are so minor? We all know how kids think. Whatever the danger or scenario, it cannot happen to them, they are invincible. That is why adults have to impose their judgment on kids and young adults. They lack the ability to fully understand the repercussions of their actions and behaviors.

Universities across this country need to all take a look at “hazing” and figure out how to prevent these kinds of tragic events from ever taking place again. I don’t care how they have to do it. Maybe, they should have to pay millions in wrongful death suits if any student attending their school dies in a hazing incident. Maybe that will make them sit up and pay attention. It’s not enough to have rules in place. Rules need to be enforced and punishments need to be swift, severe and serve as an example to others.

Rest in peace George Desdunes.