I am all for promoting safety when it comes to driving. Too many tragedies occur due to drunk drivers or people talking on their cell phones. In fact, even when using “hands free” devices, people are still too distracted talking to drive safely. And now it’s been reported that texting while driving is even more dangerous than driving under the influence. The law is cracking down on drivers who break these laws with big fines and points on their license. So why am I peeved today?
I just heard that people who text drivers while they are driving are also going to be held accountable and responsible for any accidents they may get in. Of course the person texting the driver has to be aware that the person that are texting is operating a vehicle in order to get in trouble. If there is evidence of that, they will also be guilty of breaking the law. And this is where I think the law has gone too far! Where do you draw the line?
I fail to understand how all the culpability is not on the driver of the car when he, and he alone, decides it’s ok to answer his phone or read and reply to a text message? No one is putting a gun to his head and saying he has to answer every call or respond to every message, right? Last time I heard we all had free will and a reasonably functioning brain. What is so hard about the “No texting or using a cell phone when driving,” rule? It seems clear cut to me. There are no exceptions stipulated. Just a big fat DON’T DO IT rule.
Drivers are expected to follow dozens of laws and rules regarding safe driving. The onus is on the driver to do the right thing, whether that means going the posted speed limit, wearing a seat belt, abstaining from alcohol or shutting the cell phone OFF when driving. If a bartender or host of a party serves a driver a drink or two, are they also going to get in trouble if the driver gets behind the wheel and has an accident? What about the supermarket selling beer? What if the driver drinks it in the parking lot before taking off and has an accident? Is it the supermarket’s fault? Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t get it.
The law should be tough on anyone who gets n their car and puts others on the road needlessly at risk because of their actions. Cell phones have been deemed to cause more accidents than alcohol. Crack down on drivers who won’t obey the rules. There are plenty of them. Almost everyone has a cell phone and I can’t tell you how many drivers I see every day chatting away with the phone in one hand and the wheel in the other. There should be a stiff penalty for first time offenders and then harsher penalties for second and third time offenders until people take it seriously. There is no excuse good enough for putting people’s lives in danger, and there is no one to blame except the driver, when he doesn’t obey the law.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Five Weeks After The Move…
Well five weeks have come and gone. I have been calling all kinds of people to do all the work we need done. My husband is a saint, but the scope of his handy skills are limited to changing an occasional light bulb. Thank God he earns a good living to pay others to do what we can’t. The first thing I did was to make a list for my electrician, Frank, to take care of. There were a couple of carpentry items he said he wouldn’t do because he wasn’t comfortable. That’s fine. I had plenty of electrical work on the list and he is a wiz at all that. I have five light fixtures changed, some outlets added and switches too.
Then I called a roofer/brick guy, Mik, who specializes in waterproofing to check the front and back of the house. He found some cracks, but more importantly, he said the lintels over four of the windows in front needed to be replaced. The engineer who inspected the house already told me this, so I knew it was true. He also said it would cost $800 to $900 a window. I hadn’t planned on doing this, but as both men explained, the lintels are holding up all the bricks that make up the front of the house. When they break down the bricks will crack and crumble. Mik told me he would replace 4 lintels, repair the cracks in the stucco and paint it, power wash the slate roof and repair/replace missing and broken slates and do some pointing on brinks that needed it front and back, plus caulk all the windows. We hired him to do it all which saved me from calling a few other people to take care of these jobs. It was expensive, but when he showed me how rotted away the old lentils were I knew it was a wise decision.
Once that work was done I needed a handy man, I called Marco. The kitchen cabinets are a nice cherry wood and not very old, but the damn hidden European hinges on three of them need adjustments. If you don’t know what kind of hinges these are, you are very lucky. If you ever get new kitchen cabinets, avoid them at all costs! Anyway, I wanted the handyman to adjust three of the cabinet doors that were not properly aligned and driving me crazy. The ones in the corner were the worst and I would not use them they way they were, and they had plenty of storage space that I needed too. I also needed the copper roof over my front door sanded and painted. He came yesterday and did both jobs. Two more things checked off the list!
I have been having ongoing conversations with the painter. The whole house needs to be painted on the inside. I don’t want to think about painting again for a few years. After coming and finally giving me an estimate, it took some back and forth texting and emailing to get him to bring the color charts and set a date to begin work. He tells me he will start day after Labor day, I can only pray that’s true. I haven’t been unpacking a lot of stuff so as to keep the clutter to a minimum and make it easier to paint all the rooms. I have not been buying furniture or curtains or rugs either, for the same reason. So this is holding me back a little, but based on his reputation for neatness, I was willing to wait. I had a very sloppy painter in the old house and that was a disaster! The mess he made was ridiculous. In the mean time, I let him know we picked our colors out and he plans to come back soon to iron out the final details. So hopefully I will be reporting that the painter has started work next week.
Next job on the list is the front yard/patio. I called a neighborhood construction guy who seems to do most of the concrete, brick and paving work in the area. Of course he is also expensive. His name is Anthony and he is Italian. The both of us talking together sounded like a scene from The Sopranos. He had the nerve to make fun of my accent, when his is just as bad. Brooklyn accents are very distinctive! Besides that, I had him laughing because of my bluntness. He tells me that pavers for the front yard/patio wouldn’t cost much more than concrete and I know this is BS because I did my research. In the end the whole job is more expensive that I guesstimated, but my husband and I agree to hire him. It’s not worth shopping around for a cheaper price and then not have this big job done the right way. Anthony tells us to go to his office with a deposit and to pick out the pavers. We get there a little early. His secretary has us look at the various color pavers. After a few minutes Anthony comes out and he says, “Let me show you something,” as he grabs one of the books. I say, “So now you are going to show me what you want me to pick?” He breaks out laughing. As it turns out, I had already decided to go with the same pavers he was going to “suggest.” He promises to have the job completed by September 21st, one month after we sign the contract, unless we get a lot of rain and he falls behind. We agree no one can fight the weather.
So all my ducks are in a row, so it seems. I am hoping that everything I planned to do for now will be done by September 21st. Then I can focus on unpacking and buying what I need to finish all the rooms. I am tired just thinking about it.
On a good note, I was feeling around the outside of the huge bathroom mirror this morning, don’t ask me why. I have been grumbling for weeks about how there is no medicine cabinet in such a huge bathroom. Well guess what? There is a very big cabinet behind that mirror! I love it! This was one of the good things I discovered. Most of the others were problems that had to be addressed. So I will be fully utilizing the space behind that mirror shortly! I also found six bottles of expensive perfume and aftershave that the previous owner said I could keep. One bottle I know is $100 because I also have it!
I miss writing my blogs damn it! Can’t wait to get back to them full time.
Then I called a roofer/brick guy, Mik, who specializes in waterproofing to check the front and back of the house. He found some cracks, but more importantly, he said the lintels over four of the windows in front needed to be replaced. The engineer who inspected the house already told me this, so I knew it was true. He also said it would cost $800 to $900 a window. I hadn’t planned on doing this, but as both men explained, the lintels are holding up all the bricks that make up the front of the house. When they break down the bricks will crack and crumble. Mik told me he would replace 4 lintels, repair the cracks in the stucco and paint it, power wash the slate roof and repair/replace missing and broken slates and do some pointing on brinks that needed it front and back, plus caulk all the windows. We hired him to do it all which saved me from calling a few other people to take care of these jobs. It was expensive, but when he showed me how rotted away the old lentils were I knew it was a wise decision.
Once that work was done I needed a handy man, I called Marco. The kitchen cabinets are a nice cherry wood and not very old, but the damn hidden European hinges on three of them need adjustments. If you don’t know what kind of hinges these are, you are very lucky. If you ever get new kitchen cabinets, avoid them at all costs! Anyway, I wanted the handyman to adjust three of the cabinet doors that were not properly aligned and driving me crazy. The ones in the corner were the worst and I would not use them they way they were, and they had plenty of storage space that I needed too. I also needed the copper roof over my front door sanded and painted. He came yesterday and did both jobs. Two more things checked off the list!
I have been having ongoing conversations with the painter. The whole house needs to be painted on the inside. I don’t want to think about painting again for a few years. After coming and finally giving me an estimate, it took some back and forth texting and emailing to get him to bring the color charts and set a date to begin work. He tells me he will start day after Labor day, I can only pray that’s true. I haven’t been unpacking a lot of stuff so as to keep the clutter to a minimum and make it easier to paint all the rooms. I have not been buying furniture or curtains or rugs either, for the same reason. So this is holding me back a little, but based on his reputation for neatness, I was willing to wait. I had a very sloppy painter in the old house and that was a disaster! The mess he made was ridiculous. In the mean time, I let him know we picked our colors out and he plans to come back soon to iron out the final details. So hopefully I will be reporting that the painter has started work next week.
Next job on the list is the front yard/patio. I called a neighborhood construction guy who seems to do most of the concrete, brick and paving work in the area. Of course he is also expensive. His name is Anthony and he is Italian. The both of us talking together sounded like a scene from The Sopranos. He had the nerve to make fun of my accent, when his is just as bad. Brooklyn accents are very distinctive! Besides that, I had him laughing because of my bluntness. He tells me that pavers for the front yard/patio wouldn’t cost much more than concrete and I know this is BS because I did my research. In the end the whole job is more expensive that I guesstimated, but my husband and I agree to hire him. It’s not worth shopping around for a cheaper price and then not have this big job done the right way. Anthony tells us to go to his office with a deposit and to pick out the pavers. We get there a little early. His secretary has us look at the various color pavers. After a few minutes Anthony comes out and he says, “Let me show you something,” as he grabs one of the books. I say, “So now you are going to show me what you want me to pick?” He breaks out laughing. As it turns out, I had already decided to go with the same pavers he was going to “suggest.” He promises to have the job completed by September 21st, one month after we sign the contract, unless we get a lot of rain and he falls behind. We agree no one can fight the weather.
So all my ducks are in a row, so it seems. I am hoping that everything I planned to do for now will be done by September 21st. Then I can focus on unpacking and buying what I need to finish all the rooms. I am tired just thinking about it.
On a good note, I was feeling around the outside of the huge bathroom mirror this morning, don’t ask me why. I have been grumbling for weeks about how there is no medicine cabinet in such a huge bathroom. Well guess what? There is a very big cabinet behind that mirror! I love it! This was one of the good things I discovered. Most of the others were problems that had to be addressed. So I will be fully utilizing the space behind that mirror shortly! I also found six bottles of expensive perfume and aftershave that the previous owner said I could keep. One bottle I know is $100 because I also have it!
I miss writing my blogs damn it! Can’t wait to get back to them full time.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
The Move and Two Weeks Later….
We moved on July 24th after two months of packing 25 years of belongings. I got rid of a lot of stuff, thank God, because everything still couldn’t fit on the truck. They had to go back and get the rest of my things for a second trip. It took eight hours, from 9 am to 5 pm, to get it done. Needless to say I was exhausted. I think exhausted is how I am going to feel for a very long time.
My queen size box-spring did not fit up the stairs, so we agreed the movers should dispose of it. We spent our first night sleeping on the old mattress that was laying on the floor in the bed frame. The next day I went out and purchased a new split box-spring and mattress, just like the ones I got for my daughters’ new bedroom sets. The delivery guys came to deliver it and saw I had three slats to hold up the new set. They had no clue how to arrange them, so they put them in any old way. I got two great and much needed nights of sleep before two of the three slat cracked at 12:30 am on the third night. I yelled to my husband to get off the bed and we “slept” on the hardwood floor until 5:30 am. Then, while my husband went to have breakfast, I stripped the linens off the bed and yank off the mattress and box springs. By the time he came up I was already measuring the size of the new slats we needed to buy. At 7 am we were at the lumberyard. I wanted ten slats, but they only had 8 and when I got home I found one of those eight was damaged. I ended up using seven. My husband helped me get the box-spring and mattress onto the slats and left in time to get to work at 8 am.
My younger daughter took a week’s vacation to help me out with the move. I was very grateful to have someone home with me to help me get organized. The first thing we did the day after the move was to get the bathrooms and linen closet set up so we could take showers. That was the smaller of the two unpacking jobs I had in mind and it went well. The next day I planned to do the kitchen. I had purchased plenty of paper and plastic plates, cups and utensils anticipating not being able to unpack and organize the kitchen overnight. I cleaned the outside of the cherry cabinets while my daughter was sleeping. Then I started washing the inside of each one. I thought it would make the unpacking a lot faster and easier if I got a head start. Well, these cabinets are twice as deep as the ones I had. I don’t know why they would make cabinets this deep because you can not see or get to the things in the back. I miss my old cabinets. Anyway, I was trying to clean one on the bottom, narrow cabinets. I struggled to reach the back even as I was crouched down on the floor. I lost my balance, which is no surprise, and fell forward. I went to block my head from hitting the tile floor and instead my forehead crushed my pointer finger which immediately swelled up and turned black and blue. I might as well have hit it with a sledge hammer. Thank God I didn’t pass out right then and there and was able to get ice from the freezer on it. I must have sat there a couple of hours icing it. My husband was going to work late that day and it’s a good thing too, because after a while I did feel like passing out and he was here to help me through it. Two weeks later and it still hurts.
While we were working on the kitchen, I decided we should do the laundry. We had quite a bit, even though I had done as much as I could before we left the old house. My daughter and I took all the laundry downstairs and loaded the machine. It fills up with water, but doesn’t start washing the clothes. The machine sits there full of clothes and water. I am tired, frustrated and disgusted. Thank God my husband took the day off. I wring out all the clothes as best as I can, by hand. Then I send him to the laundromat to wash and dry them while my daughter and I empty out the water in the machine. Once that is done, I call a repairman, who comes immediately. The sensor that tells the machine to start isn’t working. He adjusts it with two turns of a screwdriver and tells me this is a very good machine. Then he notices the agitator doesn’t work and says he can rebuild it right now for sixty dollars, on top of the fifty dollar service charge. I tell him to go ahead and do it. It takes less than 15 minutes. Now I have a working machine and some peace of mind. I also have clean clothes! I was happy for a while.
What next? Well, we had a very heavy rain one evening. I see water coming down in my kitchen from the ceiling. Now I cannot tell you how many times I stressed to the previous owners that I was paranoid about water getting into the house and they swore the roof and basement were good, but never mentioned the window in the office upstairs! I should have been suspicious when, during the walk through, I saw the window screen was removed from that window. I also noticed, after the fact, that some plastering had been done to the wall under that window and the kitchen ceiling. So when I went upstairs I see water coming in from the top of the office window, which was ever so slightly open and there was an inch and a half to two inches of water sitting in the windowsill and coming in through the wall. A nice puddle formed on my brand new hard wood floors. I frantically got up the water with paper towels. Now it makes sense why the screen was out. The bottom of the screen was preventing the water from draining off the window sill. I closed the top window as tightly as I could and raised the screen all the way to the top. I don’t know if this will solve the problem, but I may find out today or tomorrow, as we are getting heavy rain again. In the meantime, I have hired someone to take care of the front of the house including the slate roof, brick work, cleaning gutters, and caulking all the windows. In case you are wondering, the windows in the house are relatively new. I have to say I am more than a little pissed about this development.
It seems I am always getting derailed by things I didn’t anticipate. I had a long, long list of things to do here and these little adventures aren’t helping. Meanwhile, I got the painter in last week to go over the whole house and take notes. I am still waiting for his estimate. In the meantime, I got my electrician taking care of new fixtures, outlets and odd jobs while I wait. The house is very dark inside, especially on cloudy days and I need light! I can’t unpack most of the boxes until the painting is done. The garage, which looked a lot bigger than it is, is full of boxes from floor to ceiling. I need it for storage right now and don’t know if we will ever be able to use it for a car…maybe a matchbox car.
After the front brickwork and slate roof is done I need to get a contractor to do a new cement sidewalk and front yard with a brick wall around it. We will be able to BBQ and eat out there next summer, hopefully. Maybe by then I will be able to laugh at all my first week of adventures in the new house? If not, we will start a new tradition in this house. At 4 pm every day there will be a happy hour and I will indulge in a glass of wine before dinner.
My queen size box-spring did not fit up the stairs, so we agreed the movers should dispose of it. We spent our first night sleeping on the old mattress that was laying on the floor in the bed frame. The next day I went out and purchased a new split box-spring and mattress, just like the ones I got for my daughters’ new bedroom sets. The delivery guys came to deliver it and saw I had three slats to hold up the new set. They had no clue how to arrange them, so they put them in any old way. I got two great and much needed nights of sleep before two of the three slat cracked at 12:30 am on the third night. I yelled to my husband to get off the bed and we “slept” on the hardwood floor until 5:30 am. Then, while my husband went to have breakfast, I stripped the linens off the bed and yank off the mattress and box springs. By the time he came up I was already measuring the size of the new slats we needed to buy. At 7 am we were at the lumberyard. I wanted ten slats, but they only had 8 and when I got home I found one of those eight was damaged. I ended up using seven. My husband helped me get the box-spring and mattress onto the slats and left in time to get to work at 8 am.
My younger daughter took a week’s vacation to help me out with the move. I was very grateful to have someone home with me to help me get organized. The first thing we did the day after the move was to get the bathrooms and linen closet set up so we could take showers. That was the smaller of the two unpacking jobs I had in mind and it went well. The next day I planned to do the kitchen. I had purchased plenty of paper and plastic plates, cups and utensils anticipating not being able to unpack and organize the kitchen overnight. I cleaned the outside of the cherry cabinets while my daughter was sleeping. Then I started washing the inside of each one. I thought it would make the unpacking a lot faster and easier if I got a head start. Well, these cabinets are twice as deep as the ones I had. I don’t know why they would make cabinets this deep because you can not see or get to the things in the back. I miss my old cabinets. Anyway, I was trying to clean one on the bottom, narrow cabinets. I struggled to reach the back even as I was crouched down on the floor. I lost my balance, which is no surprise, and fell forward. I went to block my head from hitting the tile floor and instead my forehead crushed my pointer finger which immediately swelled up and turned black and blue. I might as well have hit it with a sledge hammer. Thank God I didn’t pass out right then and there and was able to get ice from the freezer on it. I must have sat there a couple of hours icing it. My husband was going to work late that day and it’s a good thing too, because after a while I did feel like passing out and he was here to help me through it. Two weeks later and it still hurts.
While we were working on the kitchen, I decided we should do the laundry. We had quite a bit, even though I had done as much as I could before we left the old house. My daughter and I took all the laundry downstairs and loaded the machine. It fills up with water, but doesn’t start washing the clothes. The machine sits there full of clothes and water. I am tired, frustrated and disgusted. Thank God my husband took the day off. I wring out all the clothes as best as I can, by hand. Then I send him to the laundromat to wash and dry them while my daughter and I empty out the water in the machine. Once that is done, I call a repairman, who comes immediately. The sensor that tells the machine to start isn’t working. He adjusts it with two turns of a screwdriver and tells me this is a very good machine. Then he notices the agitator doesn’t work and says he can rebuild it right now for sixty dollars, on top of the fifty dollar service charge. I tell him to go ahead and do it. It takes less than 15 minutes. Now I have a working machine and some peace of mind. I also have clean clothes! I was happy for a while.
What next? Well, we had a very heavy rain one evening. I see water coming down in my kitchen from the ceiling. Now I cannot tell you how many times I stressed to the previous owners that I was paranoid about water getting into the house and they swore the roof and basement were good, but never mentioned the window in the office upstairs! I should have been suspicious when, during the walk through, I saw the window screen was removed from that window. I also noticed, after the fact, that some plastering had been done to the wall under that window and the kitchen ceiling. So when I went upstairs I see water coming in from the top of the office window, which was ever so slightly open and there was an inch and a half to two inches of water sitting in the windowsill and coming in through the wall. A nice puddle formed on my brand new hard wood floors. I frantically got up the water with paper towels. Now it makes sense why the screen was out. The bottom of the screen was preventing the water from draining off the window sill. I closed the top window as tightly as I could and raised the screen all the way to the top. I don’t know if this will solve the problem, but I may find out today or tomorrow, as we are getting heavy rain again. In the meantime, I have hired someone to take care of the front of the house including the slate roof, brick work, cleaning gutters, and caulking all the windows. In case you are wondering, the windows in the house are relatively new. I have to say I am more than a little pissed about this development.
It seems I am always getting derailed by things I didn’t anticipate. I had a long, long list of things to do here and these little adventures aren’t helping. Meanwhile, I got the painter in last week to go over the whole house and take notes. I am still waiting for his estimate. In the meantime, I got my electrician taking care of new fixtures, outlets and odd jobs while I wait. The house is very dark inside, especially on cloudy days and I need light! I can’t unpack most of the boxes until the painting is done. The garage, which looked a lot bigger than it is, is full of boxes from floor to ceiling. I need it for storage right now and don’t know if we will ever be able to use it for a car…maybe a matchbox car.
After the front brickwork and slate roof is done I need to get a contractor to do a new cement sidewalk and front yard with a brick wall around it. We will be able to BBQ and eat out there next summer, hopefully. Maybe by then I will be able to laugh at all my first week of adventures in the new house? If not, we will start a new tradition in this house. At 4 pm every day there will be a happy hour and I will indulge in a glass of wine before dinner.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Last Week Before "The Move"...
To be honest, I have never liked change. I like stability and consistency. It makes me feel secure. Most people find moving to a new place stressful, but for me it’s stress to the max. I have been living with chaos the past couple of months. Boxes everywhere. Every weekend we go to BJ’s and pick up another dozen boxes and then I spend the rest of the week filling them up. Who knows if I will find everything after I move? I try to label the boxes, but there are so many of them. We probably have at least 100 boxes full of stuff. I haven’t had to go back to look for anything, and I haven’t missed any of the things that are packed. I came to the conclusion that maybe I should have thrown it all out. That would have made everything easier.
Tomorrow we close on both houses. There are times I can barely breathe from the anxiety. I hate change, but this is necessary and long overdue. Just the last minute things are left to pack. The floor guys are going to the new house on Thursday to do the hardwood floors. The move is set for July 24th. If I could just shut off my brain from thinking about all the "what if's" I might be able to sleep. I took a pill last night, and still got up at 4 am.
The buyers of my house have been very anxious to move in sooner than later. They even wanted to close at the end of June so they could start working on the basement while I am still living here. I told that that was out of the question. For one thing, I have so many boxes in the basement and no where to put them. Second of all, I am buying a house in “move-in” condition so as not to deal with construction. The last thing I need while packing is workers going in and out and making noise all day. Our contract says we will close not before July 15th. I needed the time to find a house and luckily I did, because there weren’t many on the market. I think I got the last one in the category and price range I was looking for. I saw it Mother’s Day weekend and made an offer right away. It’s only two months later and I am packed to go, but it’s not fast enough to suit them.
The sellers of the house I am moving into are a young family with two children around 3 and 5 years old. The woman’s father has Alzheimer’s and has been in and out of the hospital. She is stressed to the max herself trying to pack up a house while staying with her parents and going back and forth from the hospital. Her father isn’t doing well at the moment. It’s difficult for me to put additional pressure on her to move faster so I can get in because my buyers are impatient. I wanted to give them enough time to pack up their house. They said they could close July 8th and so at the end of June I called my lawyer to get the ball rolling because everyone was ready.
You are going to love this…when I tell my lawyer we want to close on July 15th because everyone is ready, he tells me we aren’t ready. He sent for a survey on the house and it hasn’t come yet. I told him to arrange everything anyway, I doubt the survey will be an issue. He tells me, for the first time, that he will be away the first two weeks of July! I nearly have a stroke! How the hell are we going to close July 15th when he is away and will be getting back July 11th? He tells me his assistant will make the arrangements. I call her the next day to make sure we are on the same page. We need to close on both houses on July 15th. She is already aware and says she will send out emails and make phone calls as soon as she gets off the phone with me. A week goes by. Finally she calls me back and says July 15th didn’t work, but everything is a go for the 17th. I say great.
Now in my contract we put that I have 7 days to move out after closing, because I wanted to do the hardwood floors first. The sellers of the new house have 5 days to move out in their contract, but moved everything sooner so the house would be empty on closing for me. That brings us to my moving date of the 24th.
Last night my Realtor gets a call regarding the walk through of my house and he is asked if he knew we were staying an extra week after the closing. He says yes, it’s in the contract and was agreed to. They were under the impression that because they had to wait to close that we would be out on the day of closing. They seem to have no concept of the fact that I need to move into an empty house and not one that is still occupied by the previous owners. They don’t know the terms of my contract with the other people. It’s a chain reaction. They are lucky things moved as fast as they did. The sellers of the new house put their things in storage because they are moving in with her parents. If they had to find a house and wait for other people to move, this could have dragged on another month. I may have to explain some of this to them so they know I have not been dragging my feet. I would love to be out of here, the sooner the better. Yesterday morning there was more music blaring outside my window, a constant reminder of why I set all this in motion.
I just can’t wait to be settled and organized. The next two or three weeks are going to be very stressful to say the least. This weekend I have to get two bedroom sets for the girls and have them delivered after the move. Down the road I need to find a living room set and entertainment center. Somehow I can’t see having the time to do that, but I suppose I will find it. I want something I really like and that will last a long time to come. I know people will say, take one day at a time, relax, drink wine, forget your troubles, everything will work out in the end. I know all that, but it’s the meantime that’s killing me.
P.S. sorry for the lack of blogs. I miss writing so much and hope to get back to it on a regular basis once I am settled in.
Tomorrow we close on both houses. There are times I can barely breathe from the anxiety. I hate change, but this is necessary and long overdue. Just the last minute things are left to pack. The floor guys are going to the new house on Thursday to do the hardwood floors. The move is set for July 24th. If I could just shut off my brain from thinking about all the "what if's" I might be able to sleep. I took a pill last night, and still got up at 4 am.
The buyers of my house have been very anxious to move in sooner than later. They even wanted to close at the end of June so they could start working on the basement while I am still living here. I told that that was out of the question. For one thing, I have so many boxes in the basement and no where to put them. Second of all, I am buying a house in “move-in” condition so as not to deal with construction. The last thing I need while packing is workers going in and out and making noise all day. Our contract says we will close not before July 15th. I needed the time to find a house and luckily I did, because there weren’t many on the market. I think I got the last one in the category and price range I was looking for. I saw it Mother’s Day weekend and made an offer right away. It’s only two months later and I am packed to go, but it’s not fast enough to suit them.
The sellers of the house I am moving into are a young family with two children around 3 and 5 years old. The woman’s father has Alzheimer’s and has been in and out of the hospital. She is stressed to the max herself trying to pack up a house while staying with her parents and going back and forth from the hospital. Her father isn’t doing well at the moment. It’s difficult for me to put additional pressure on her to move faster so I can get in because my buyers are impatient. I wanted to give them enough time to pack up their house. They said they could close July 8th and so at the end of June I called my lawyer to get the ball rolling because everyone was ready.
You are going to love this…when I tell my lawyer we want to close on July 15th because everyone is ready, he tells me we aren’t ready. He sent for a survey on the house and it hasn’t come yet. I told him to arrange everything anyway, I doubt the survey will be an issue. He tells me, for the first time, that he will be away the first two weeks of July! I nearly have a stroke! How the hell are we going to close July 15th when he is away and will be getting back July 11th? He tells me his assistant will make the arrangements. I call her the next day to make sure we are on the same page. We need to close on both houses on July 15th. She is already aware and says she will send out emails and make phone calls as soon as she gets off the phone with me. A week goes by. Finally she calls me back and says July 15th didn’t work, but everything is a go for the 17th. I say great.
Now in my contract we put that I have 7 days to move out after closing, because I wanted to do the hardwood floors first. The sellers of the new house have 5 days to move out in their contract, but moved everything sooner so the house would be empty on closing for me. That brings us to my moving date of the 24th.
Last night my Realtor gets a call regarding the walk through of my house and he is asked if he knew we were staying an extra week after the closing. He says yes, it’s in the contract and was agreed to. They were under the impression that because they had to wait to close that we would be out on the day of closing. They seem to have no concept of the fact that I need to move into an empty house and not one that is still occupied by the previous owners. They don’t know the terms of my contract with the other people. It’s a chain reaction. They are lucky things moved as fast as they did. The sellers of the new house put their things in storage because they are moving in with her parents. If they had to find a house and wait for other people to move, this could have dragged on another month. I may have to explain some of this to them so they know I have not been dragging my feet. I would love to be out of here, the sooner the better. Yesterday morning there was more music blaring outside my window, a constant reminder of why I set all this in motion.
I just can’t wait to be settled and organized. The next two or three weeks are going to be very stressful to say the least. This weekend I have to get two bedroom sets for the girls and have them delivered after the move. Down the road I need to find a living room set and entertainment center. Somehow I can’t see having the time to do that, but I suppose I will find it. I want something I really like and that will last a long time to come. I know people will say, take one day at a time, relax, drink wine, forget your troubles, everything will work out in the end. I know all that, but it’s the meantime that’s killing me.
P.S. sorry for the lack of blogs. I miss writing so much and hope to get back to it on a regular basis once I am settled in.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Trayvon Martin Rest In Peace...
I woke up to hear the acquittal verdict in the George Zimmerman trial. I remain in shock at the incomprehensible decision reached by the jury. I haven’t been able to follow the trial as much as I would have liked, but right from the start I felt this was a slam dunk for the prosecution. The whole crime was documented on 911 recordings, there were witnesses, there was evidence. The jury heard it all and in 16 short hours came to their verdict and acquitted Zimmerman of all charges.
I don’t get it. I understand that there was conflicting testimony about two key facts. First, experts could not identify who was crying out for help and both families said it was Trayvon or George. Then there were witnesses who said they saw Trayvon on top of George in the struggle, others saw George on top of Trayvon. These witnesses were probably instrumental in the jury’s decision by creating “reasonable doubt.” The Florida “Stand Your Ground” law allows a person, whose life is being threatened, to defend themselves. That’s what the defense used to help get George off. But what about Trayvon? Doesn’t he get to stand his ground?
The way I see it, this tragedy would have never happened but for George Zimmerman’s actions. Trayvon took a break from playing video games to go buy a snack. He went out for some Skittles and iced tea. It was raining. He wore his hoodie with his head covered. He went back home, snacks in hand, and talking on his cell phone. George Zimmerman spotted him and thought he looked suspicious. Why? Trayvon wasn’t doing anything, but walking home. The only reason I have heard as to why he looked suspicious to George is because he was black and wearing a hoodie in the rain. For those reasons he decided to call 911 and report Trayvon. The 911 operator told George NOT to follow Trayvon and that they were sending the police out. George ignored them and decided to pursue Trayvon himself. Trayvon told his friend, on the phone, that he was being followed. I don’t know about you, but it would make me very nervous if someone was following me. And if I changed directions and they were still following me, I would start to panic. Trayvon’s friend told him to run home. She must have been concerned and sensed the concern in Trayvon’s voice, to advise him to do that. But, Trayvon was a young man and probably his pride would not let him run home scared. So Trayvon kept walking and an armed George Zimmerman kept following him, like he was hunting for game. Finally, Trayvon confronted George. I imagine his adrenaline was running high and he had no idea what George’s intentions were. So Trayvon stood his ground. He wasn’t armed. He had every right to be in the apartment complex. The confrontation turned into a fight. Who was defending themselves, George or Trayvon? Who had the gun? Whose actions provoked the confrontation? Who was told not to follow Trayvon because the police were on their way?
I don’t care who was on top, who was straddling who, who was yelling for help. All of that doesn’t prove anything really. The stage for tragedy was set when George Zimmerman decided to use racial profiling and assume an overzealous vigilante position despite his training in security watch protocol and what he was told by 911. How was Trayvon supposed to think he had anything but bad intentions, the way George was pursuing him? Wouldn’t any reasonable person feel threatened and in fear for their safety? So he reacted from the fear George created in him and it cost him his life. George wasn’t afraid. George had a gun, so he knew he had the upper hand. But I guess the jury didn’t see it that way. I would like to know how the arrived at their decision and what they considered. Whatever the case, it’s a sad commentary on society.
My prayers go out to Trayvon’s family. They lost an innocent, precious child and there will be no earthly justice for them.
I don’t get it. I understand that there was conflicting testimony about two key facts. First, experts could not identify who was crying out for help and both families said it was Trayvon or George. Then there were witnesses who said they saw Trayvon on top of George in the struggle, others saw George on top of Trayvon. These witnesses were probably instrumental in the jury’s decision by creating “reasonable doubt.” The Florida “Stand Your Ground” law allows a person, whose life is being threatened, to defend themselves. That’s what the defense used to help get George off. But what about Trayvon? Doesn’t he get to stand his ground?
The way I see it, this tragedy would have never happened but for George Zimmerman’s actions. Trayvon took a break from playing video games to go buy a snack. He went out for some Skittles and iced tea. It was raining. He wore his hoodie with his head covered. He went back home, snacks in hand, and talking on his cell phone. George Zimmerman spotted him and thought he looked suspicious. Why? Trayvon wasn’t doing anything, but walking home. The only reason I have heard as to why he looked suspicious to George is because he was black and wearing a hoodie in the rain. For those reasons he decided to call 911 and report Trayvon. The 911 operator told George NOT to follow Trayvon and that they were sending the police out. George ignored them and decided to pursue Trayvon himself. Trayvon told his friend, on the phone, that he was being followed. I don’t know about you, but it would make me very nervous if someone was following me. And if I changed directions and they were still following me, I would start to panic. Trayvon’s friend told him to run home. She must have been concerned and sensed the concern in Trayvon’s voice, to advise him to do that. But, Trayvon was a young man and probably his pride would not let him run home scared. So Trayvon kept walking and an armed George Zimmerman kept following him, like he was hunting for game. Finally, Trayvon confronted George. I imagine his adrenaline was running high and he had no idea what George’s intentions were. So Trayvon stood his ground. He wasn’t armed. He had every right to be in the apartment complex. The confrontation turned into a fight. Who was defending themselves, George or Trayvon? Who had the gun? Whose actions provoked the confrontation? Who was told not to follow Trayvon because the police were on their way?
I don’t care who was on top, who was straddling who, who was yelling for help. All of that doesn’t prove anything really. The stage for tragedy was set when George Zimmerman decided to use racial profiling and assume an overzealous vigilante position despite his training in security watch protocol and what he was told by 911. How was Trayvon supposed to think he had anything but bad intentions, the way George was pursuing him? Wouldn’t any reasonable person feel threatened and in fear for their safety? So he reacted from the fear George created in him and it cost him his life. George wasn’t afraid. George had a gun, so he knew he had the upper hand. But I guess the jury didn’t see it that way. I would like to know how the arrived at their decision and what they considered. Whatever the case, it’s a sad commentary on society.
My prayers go out to Trayvon’s family. They lost an innocent, precious child and there will be no earthly justice for them.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Our Thirtieth Wedding Anniversary…
Tomorrow it will be thirty years since my husband and I exchanged wedding vows. He took off a few days in case I wanted to celebrate, but honestly in the middle of packing, I can’t think about taking a little trip away. I am too overwhelmed and it’s a sin really, because 30 years is a long time and deserves to be celebrated right. Instead of packing clothes to go away, we are packing boxes and throwing out as many things as I can part with.
One of those things I was prepared to add to the trash was my wedding gown. After we got back from our honeymoon, I took my wedding gown to the dry cleaners to have it cleaned and preserved in a special keepsake box. I forgot about the keepsake box because they had put it inside another regular box. The box has been sitting in my basement for 25 years, on top of a wardrobe closet, collecting dust. I was not looking forward to taking it down and disposing of it. But, this morning I bit the bullet and had my husband bring it down for me. I cleaned of the dust off the outer box and then looked inside to find the gown carefully laid out in a gold keepsake box. Maybe I had never seen it before or saw it just the one time when I picked it up. So I told my husband I would save it and get rid of the outer box.
Now for some reason unbeknownst to me, my older daughter has been trying to subtly tell me I should keep my wedding dress. For the past couple of weeks or longer, I have been talking about dumping it and she suggested I have it “framed.” I looked at some pictures online of framed wedding dresses and they are huge. Where would I ever put something like that anyway? I told myself I will never be wearing this dress again. My daughters certainly won’t be wearing it. What is the point of holding on to this 30 year old dress? The only thing I envisioned was that one day my girls would be going through my things to dispose of them and then they would have to agonize about what to do with this dress. The dress would be an albatross around their necks. When I had gotten it preserved, I don’t know what I was thinking. Maybe I thought if I had a daughter she might want to wear it? Maybe she would want to open the box and see it up close? That was then, this is now. So because it was so nicely packaged, and because my daughter seemed more concerned about parting with it than I was, I decided to hold on to it and told her so. I asked her why she wanted me to keep it, but she doesn’t know. Then she says, maybe we can find a more “compact” way of keeping it. I had to laugh to myself wondering why my wedding gown seem so important to her. Maybe in time she will figure out why.
My husband was totally understanding about my feelings. My nerves are on edge and I am tired. I am not in a celebrating state of mind, body or spirit, in spite of the huge milestone we are about to hit. So he suggested that we go to dinner tomorrow and celebrate in the fall after we are all settled in our new home. That sounds a lot more appealing to me. For now we will focus on this move that I have been putting on hold until the girls graduated college and my husband was able to retire. I have waited a long time for this and it’s long overdue. I feel like this is my time and our time to do the things we have put off because other things took priority. I hope it all turns out the way we envision it will.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
One Last Letter to Marie...
Perhaps writing all those blogs in February created more healing or maybe it's just time working it's magic. Whatever the case, I woke up this morning and wrote this last letter to Marie. I wanted to share it with those of you who accompanied me on this journey and had so many kind words to say.
Dear Marie,
Dear Marie,
I hope things are going well for you and your family. I have a few things to say and will try to keep it short.
We will be moving to a new home next month. The girls have both graduated and are working and I couldn't be prouder of them. Jim has taken an early retirement and completed his Master's Degree in history. We are at the end of what I like to call Act II of our lives and, next month, the curtain will go up on Act III. We have been going through 25 years of accumulated things and memories in the process of packing. We have been discussing how we want to spend our time, how to simplify our lives, and just enjoy each day. To that end, we have decided we would like to forgive the remainder of your loan, so you can stop making any further payments and consider it paid in full.
I would like you to know that I have no regrets concerning our friendship. When I met you and got to know you, my only intention was to make a positive difference in your life and the lives of your children. I am glad I was in a position to be able to help you then. I wanted you to get your degree and have a career and a better life. It was a proud moment for me to watch you graduate after so many years of hard work. I've always wanted you to be happy and that has never changed. If I had to do it all over again, I would, without hesitation. When I look back now, I remember the good times, the laughter and how we supported and encouraged each other through the worst of times. I'm sure you do too.
Last year I went to see the play Wicked, it's a prequel to the Wizard of Oz. In the play, the good witch, Glinda, and the wicked witch, Elphaba, become best friends. However, in the end they have to part ways and they sing the song "For Good." I'm not sure if you've ever heard it, but it's very touching. And so, in closing, I will share with you the link to the song and it's message: "because I knew you, I have been changed for good."
Hope you have a very enjoyable summer. Be well and all the best to you always.
Love, Nina
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