I received a special request to blog about phone hang ups so I will do my best. I have rarely been hung up on, but I know that it is infuriating when it happens, no matter who is on the other end. It is about as rude as one can be using the telephone, as far as I am concerned. I think my mother hung up on me once or twice, but she was allowed to be rude, she was my mother and that excuses her bad behavior. Mothers can get away with things that other people can’t, that is one of the ten commandments. In my mother’s case, she always felt that I provoke her bad behavior by my choice of words, tone or attitude. In any case there would be no winning that argument.
If someone, other than my mother, were to hang up on me, that might be the last time I talk to them. If someone has the audacity to hang up in the middle of a conversation, without allowing me the consideration to have my say or respond, then there is nothing left to say. Chances are that is it a heated conversation to begin with if it ends in a hang up. It leaves the person hung up on angry about the conversation, as well as, the abrupt, rude, disrespectful, ending to it. There is really no excuse for such behavior and if someone thinks so little of you as to hang up, you better re-examine that relationship more closely.
There may be times when hanging up is excusable, in my opinion. One exception to the rule are telemarketers who will not take no for an answer and just keep talking. We all know they like to call at dinner time, when they are sure people are home. On top of that, I don’t recall ever saying yes to any offer a telemarketer has made to me, and I have had plenty of these calls. So, when they start talking, and you’ve heard it all before, and you say sorry I am not interested once or twice, then it is perfectly ok to hang up on them. I have registered all my phone number with the DO NOT CALL registry so that I will not get many if at all and they will be fined if reported. I will post the link below if you haven’t done it.
Also, if someone is screaming in your ear about something they are pissed off about and you can’t get a word in edge-wise, then say you are going to hang up one or twice, as a warning, then do it. You don’t not have to subject yourself to verbal abuse.
Most serious conversations would be better had in person anyway. Body language plays a big role in communication and might set a different tone for the conversation. On the other hand, if the person has violent tendencies, then the phone would be much better.
Personally, I would find it very hard to hang up on someone. But if you ever want to get someone really pissed off, this would be one fool proof way to do it. Many people will write you off after that, so if you want to end a relationship give it a try.
https://www.donotcall.gov/register/reg.aspx National DO NOT CALL registry
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THE DO NOT CALL REGISTRY! THANK YOU, NINA!
ReplyDeleteLOL Bevvie, you are very welcome!
ReplyDeleteI was in the midst of a marital crisis and my husband and I were arguing. He called my sister and they were talking on the phone. I didn't want to hear him discussing our issues with her, so I was going to leave the house. As I was leaving, he argued more -- while on the line with her. Then, she called my cell phone. She wanted to give her opinion. I told her it wasn't a good time for me to speak with her. She would not listen to my request and kept speaking. I repeated that I didn't want to talk to her at that moment. She pressed on. Exasperated and already upset due to the situation with my spouse, I hung up on her. She sent a text message saying that I would no longer be welcome in her home.
ReplyDeleteSo be it.
She thinks I am upset over her opinions. I was upset that she inserted herself into my husband's and my situation and when I repeatedly said, "This is not a good time for me to talk." She completely disregarded what I was saying. I'm 44 and my sister is 36. She's never been married, has no kids; the last long-term relationship she had her was in her last year of high school and first year of college; she has very few friends other than our 78-year-old mother and has had issues with everyone from family members, her two college roommates, co-workers and classmates (she is back in school,earning second degree).
Was it rude of me to hang up. Yes, sure. But she crossed the line by stepping into our situation and by not heeding the request to back off.
I'm actually a communicator by profession. My trade has taught me listening skills; I notice that she, my mom AND my husband "wait to talk" instead of practicing active listening. I've never hung up on mom but I'm now learning to use and set boundaries.
Your husband should have never involved her and you were right to tell her it was none of her business. It is sad that she was so angry though she did not want you to come to her home. However, I feel it is a hidden message in her saying that. I feel she don't want you and your husbands drama. You will need to respect that.
DeleteWhat should couples do when hanged up on?? or married couples. ?? Major disrespect !! and I am sure it has happened to others not just me. I am looking to separate.
ReplyDeleteI think they have to discuss it and come to an agreement not to do that. I find it extremely aggravating regardless who does it. I'm sure if you are looking to separate there are other issues going on as well. Maybe try some counseling before doing anything drastic. A little communication can go a long way.
DeleteWhat should I do when my girlfriend hangs up because of her going through a crisis with her mom and I responded to her crisis and when I needed to explain to her on a issue that I was personally going through and she did not want to talk about it at that moment and hung up without me being comfortable with the end of the phone conversation and said maybe I will get back with you tomorrow should I answer her when she does call back or ignore the call cause I felt she rudely hung up on me??
ReplyDeleteSorry, just seeing this now. I guess I am too late to give you advce. When someone is going through a crisis, it's probably not the best time to talk to them. I'm sure under normal circumstances she would not have been so rude, but she wasn't herself and I would take the circumstances into consideration. However, if you fnd that most of the time it's all about her and her problems and she really doesn't listen to you, it may be time to have a discussion about it and reevaluate your relationship because communication is very important.
ReplyDeleteMy adult son complains about his marriage often, and I have listened to him with empathy, but recently I told him I just didn't want to hear about it anymore. (I am giving you the short version.) When I told him that, he hung up on me. I have always been supportive of him in the past and thought we had a good relationship. Any suggestions?
ReplyDeleteObviously your son is miserable and maybe even feeling trapped in his marriage. There must be a reason why he continues to stay in the relationship. You may be the only person he has to confide in and was hurt when you reached your limit. Of course he was wrong to hang up, but we have all done things in the heat of the moment that we might regret. Since your relationship has been a good and supportive one, I would suggest reaching out to your son and try to patch things up before too much time passes. Life is short and I've seen too many families drift apart over things that were minor arguments in the grand scheme of things and lose precious time. The more time that passes the more difficult it will become. You can be right and also the bigger person for the sake of your son and your relationship. I hope that helps.
DeleteMy daughter hung up on me when I refuse to comment on her visiting her cousin. I had nothing to say either way. Then she accused me of having an attitude. I told her it didn't matter who cousin she visit with. I just don't have anything to say and that I don't have an attitude. I told her though since you open that door I resent you indicating that I have the problem, then she hung up on me. What make it so bad is, she ask me to come to keep my grand child for two weeks while she go to the islands. I don't even live in this state and have travel over five states to help her. She will be back in town tomorrow but I can't wait to go back home. She sucks!
DeleteGood write up, I agree, but please consider editing for a few simple typos.
ReplyDeleteThis has happened to me recently,with a boyfriend,who expects me to listen for hours,if hes having a bad time,when I was having a rare "bad day",he did not want to hear me,it was not in any way a personal attack upon him, he was about to hang up,but I said goodbye,havent spoken since,its obvious my thoughts and feelings have no importance,he also interrupts,and skips over things I say,and he is WAY TOO OLD,for this.Some people are just narcisscists and could not care less about others,steer clear I say,though each situation is different.
ReplyDeleteI agree, when someone is screaming in your ear because they are pissed off about something, you have the right to hang up, I now don't even give warning, once I feel like I have to defend myself against a lie they said about me, the conversation is over period. The minute you defend yourself you are adding fuel to the fire. I Have hung up on a rude sibling probably 58 times and counting, and will continue to do it to keep my sanity.
ReplyDeleteMy parther talks over me .. If I say owt he says not interested .. and tonight I said we need to talk and he hung up ... last time he will speak to me ... If we do get to talking he won't turn telly off or down.. its about manners ...he has none .. and the excuses range from work to fishing to the pun to tired to not well ..If I'm lucky I see him for two hours after work and weekends ... its not enough for me I'd rather be single
ReplyDeleteWhen the cell phone call abruptly ends and you call back repeatedly and get a couple of rings then voicemail .was I hung up on ?
ReplyDelete