Saturday, February 12, 2011

Finding A Husband...

As I entered my mid-twenties I started thinking about getting married, as most women do. I had gotten my BA in psychology and a job at a local savings bank right after graduation. I was promoted a couple of times, I had paid all my student loans and started saving for my future while traveling and enjoying the single life. Then, I was ready to think about settling down and starting a family. How and where would I meet the “right” guy who, would not only make a good husband, but a wonderful father? It might never happen, who knows.

I devised a plan to try different things in hopes it would lead me to the man of my dreams. After all, he wasn’t going to appear out of nowhere ringing my doorbell. I had to go out and socialize and make myself “available.” So, one of the first things I did was to buy a new bike to ride. I thought, if I am out riding I might meet other bike riders and if not, the exercise couldn’t hurt. Wrong, I didn’t meet anyone and the exercise did hurt! I went out for a ride one day, got nervous and slammed into the back bumper of a parked car. I flew off the seat and down and my legs slammed into the “teeth” of the metal pedals. Ouch! I put that bike away and never looked back.

Then I saw an advertisement from the local police precinct for civilian volunteers. They had a formal training program set up and I thought this might be worth a try. Maybe there would be male volunteers there and I might be able to meet someone with a sense of civic duty. Wrong! The whole room was full of less than desirable candidates…not only for a mate, but for volunteer duty. There was no way I was going to find “Mr. Right” there and not only that, I lost all confidence in the police volunteers as well.

My next idea was to take college classes in business for a Master’s Degree that my employers would foot the bill for. I should be able to meet recent college graduates looking for advanced degrees in business there while bettering myself and making myself more marketable. Business was not my strong suit. I took classes in business law and marketing, which was fine because they were in plain English. But eventually I had to take something more challenging, Accounting 101. I couldn’t understand a debit from a credit. After spending hours on my Saturday afternoons trying to do my homework, and getting the wrong answers without a clue why, I had to withdraw from the class. I not only didn’t meet anyone, for the first time in my life I was unable to learn the subject matter of a class.

I wasn’t giving up though. I went to museums, New York city is full of them. I took a couple of “Single World” tours for my vacations. One was to California, where I actually did meet a very nice guy who lived in New Jersey. He had a great sense of humor and we hit it off. He worked for the IRS, which was nice, and enjoyed Broadway shows just like I did. One day he moved out of his parents home and suffered some kind of anxiety or depression and I never heard from him again. The next group trip I took was to Europe. I saw a lot of sights, but didn’t meet anyone.

One Friday the 13th, I decided I was going to go to a local bar by myself and see what happens. Friday the 13th was often a lucky day for me. Good things tended to happen for me, so I figured why not go out and give it a try, I had nothing to lose. I went to a bar called McZak’s, which was just a few short blocks from my home and where I had been many times. I was comfortable there so it made it easy to walk in and sit at the bar and order a drink. As I sipped my drink I looked around to see if there were any interesting guys around. I saw one having a beer along side the wall, standing by himself. I thought to myself, “that looks like a nice, quiet guy.” In a couple of minutes I took my drink and casually went over to stand near him. When he turned my way, I asked if he had the time. That was a clever rouse, don’t you think? When he answered, I told him I was waiting for friends of mine to show up and he answered so was he. However, my “friends” never showed up because they didn’t exist, that was a convenient lie. His friends did show up later, but only after we had time to have a nice long conversation. I learned that he had just graduated from Syracuse University with a Master’s Degree in Social Work specializing in gerontology. He was currently looking for a job in his field. He struck me as being a very honest, decent man. I liked him! When his friends showed up he introduced me to them. They were funny and very nice. It got late and I told him I had to leave. He offered to walk me to my car and asked for my phone number. That was June 13th, 1980.

The rest was history. We married June 25th, 1983 and lived happily ever after!

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