Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Dating Today...

Back in my day, prehistoric times, the only way for a girl to get a date was to wait for some guy to ask her. Girls would never dream of being so forward as to ask a guy out unless it was February 29th, Sadie Hawkins Day. Sadie Hawkins Day was created by Al Capp (Li’l Abner comics) in 1937. Dances were held that day and girls were supposed to ask guys out.

Even after woman’s liberation, girls would not ask guys out. Sure they would flirt and get their attention and entice guys to ask them out. But if you weren’t good a flirting, didn’t have a beautiful face and a hot body to go with it, you weren’t going to attract many prospects. That’s the category I fit into for a long time.

Nowadays, women and men have all kinds of options available to them. In the past we counted on meeting people during your walks of life like school, church, museums, bars, the grocery store, and work. Today there are online matchmaking services like “perfect match.com” or "eharmony" where you fill out all kind of information about yourself and they match you with suitable people. The biggest problem with that is that people lie to make themselves more desirable. Faced with questions like do you enjoy reading, traveling, sports, etc, many an applicant will lie and say yes. So you do not always get the “perfect match’ at the end of your search. Yet many honest people have met and married other honest people using these services. Of course these site charge a fee. A free online matching service you can try is called “Plenty of Fish.” You can go through all the people yourself and contact anyone you might be interested in, chat and arrange to have coffee. I have heard some success stories come out of this site as well.

Another option we have is speed dating. Companies organize a large and safe meeting place for men and women for a fee. It takes about two hours and in that time you spend about 6 to 7 minutes, one on one, with about 6 to 12 people. If you are interested in pursuing any of them, you would be able to arrange a meeting later in the week for a drink or lunch, just to see if you click. It seems like a good way to go through many prospects in a short amount of time and it’s not very expensive either.

There are also professional match makers out there which are probably the most expensive. I’m not so sure I would want someone who barely knows me and my personality to select someone for me. It’s one thing to put your interests on paper, but how does a matchmaker assess character? And if you pay for their services up front, they could set you up with anyone and if it doesn’t workout you remain a client. It might be different if you paid a fee if and when she found you someone that you clicked with. There would be more incentive in her doing a better job of matching people up.

Of course, as I told my daughter, this is the 21st century. You do not have to wait for a guy to ask you out and limit your dates to guys interested in you. If you see a guy you like, try asking him out. All he can say is no and you just prepare yourself for that. Girls should no longer be afraid to ask guys they are attracted to out. Girls are smarter and have an innate intuition about people. They are more likely to make wiser choices and better matches for themselves.

So, if you are looking for a guy, check out all the available sources, use your intuition and any trick up your sleeve to lure him in, and do not be afraid to ask him out.

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