My Aunt Mary’s 90th Birthday Party…

 

My Aunt Mary with her son, Paul (next to her)

and my family standing behind

 

My Aunt Mary turned 90 on Valentine’s Day, but the weather made it impossible to celebrate it that weekend. My aunt has been in and out of the hospital many times the past two to three years. I went to see her just a couple of weeks ago at the hospital. She couldn't breathe one night and it had snowed a lot. The ambulance couldn't get through the streets, the fire department had to help. They could not use a stretcher due to ice, so a few men had to carry her into the ambulance. When she got to the hospital, they ran tests. She had had a heart attack (not her first) and two strains of the flu and pneumonia. That was a Tuesday night. I went there on that Saturday afternoon. She had already made a ton of progress and was chatting with us and asking about my girls. After we were there a while she told us we could leave, that she was fine...and she was. Along side her bed were discharge papers! My cousin, Maria, glanced through them. I was alarmed that they were releasing her too soon. Her family had to consider taking her to a rehab until she could get around on her own. But, about 3 or 4 days later, she was released and able to go home. My aunt Mary is amazing! God Bless her.

This weekend the weather was beautiful…and so was my Aunt Mary. I walked into the party room at the restaurant to see her seated at the table in the center of the back wall, the room had two long tables extending from each side of her table…like a U shape. I walked over to greet her and she tells me to sit near her. She is in great spirits, wearing a beautiful pink chiffon dress and the cameo pin my uncle Tony had gotten her many years ago. On her wrist was a bracelet with several small cameos that came from Italy. My Aunt Mary always loved parties and family get togethers and yesterday was no exception. Everyone was taking pictures to preserve the memories of this special day. My aunt was surrounded by her children, Maria and Paul, her grandchildren, Frank, Joseph and Deanna, her sister, Angie, and a lot of nieces, nephews and friends. As we are chatting, my aunt tells me she feels a little chilly. I tell her that maybe she should open my gift. We open the package together and in side was a shawl I had gotten her. We slipped it over her shoulders right then and there. Now she is a little more comfortable. Out with the food!

The restaurant served many plates of appetizers family style: a mozzarella and tomato salad, a calamari salad, stuffed eggplant, stuffed mushrooms, stuffed clams, garlic bread. There was plenty of wine at all the tables. When I wasn’t pouring myself half glasses of wine, my husband was and when he wasn’t looking, the waiter filled my glass to the brim a couple of times. The entrée hadn’t even come out and I was feeling happy and very full. For the entrée they had a chicken and sausage plate with potatoes, peppers and onion and a dish of penne with tomato sauce. Everyone was enjoying the food and the company. Then my Aunt Mary started to talk and everyone else got silent. She wanted to thank everyone for coming. She said in times like these, when most families drift apart, she was happy to say that her family always remained close. And, with a tear trickling down the corner of her eye, she told us how much she loved us all…those of us who were there and those of us who weren’t. It was very touching.

My Aunt Mary's Family

Bottom Row: Deanna, Maria, Aunt Mary, Angie,

Back Row Center: Joseph, Frank, Paul

It is only fitting that my Aunt Mary was born on Valentine’s Day, a day that celebrates love. My Aunt Mary has always been a wonderful, loving person. She has a heart of gold. She raised her family and worked hard her whole life. She has had more than her share of health problems. She always seemed to have endless patience with children and loved being around them. I really never heard her complain much about anything. And, because of her, we will all have many cherished memories of the Thanksgiving and New Year holidays that were always celebrated in her home. She inspired me to try and make all the holidays special for my children too.

My aunt’s memory is a little faulty, as you might expect, but no worse than mine. She kept asking about my parents, how they were doing. Whenever she does, I don’t have the heart to tell her they have been gone a long time. I just tell her they are well, but not able to go out much any more. She always tells me to send them her love and that she misses them. I have all to do not to cry myself. My Aunt Mary is all that we have left of her generation. We have lost so many loved ones over the past 30 years it brings tears to my eyes as I write. She has given us many a scare the past couple of years, but her positive attitude always pulls her through. Her last recovery seemed almost miraculous. Not only the recovery, but the short time it took her. I’m very thankful and feel blessed that she not only bounced back, but was able to come out and celebrate her birthday in style.

At the end of her little speech, she talked about how good her children were, how good her grandchildren were and how blessed she was to have them. Then she said, “I’m the only one who’s a stinker.” Everyone laughed. She added, next year we are all going to do this again. There is nothing I would love more than to be able to celebrate my aunt’s 91^st birthday with her in 2015. Happy 90^th Birthday Aunt Mary…and many more!


My Aunt Mary's Thanksgivings: http://ninaspetpeeves.blogspot.com/2011/11/my-aunt-marys-thanksgivings.html

My Aunt Mary's New Year's: http://ninaspetpeeves.blogspot.com/2012/12/happy-new-yearpast-and-present.html

 

My Aunt Mary's Thanksgivings...

Our Annual Tradition: "The March Of The Wooden Soldiers"

When I think of Thanksgiving, I think of my Aunt Mary.  Growing up in Brooklyn, N.Y. we had a large family.  No one liked to entertain a large group.  I think we numbered about 12 at our lowest count and maybe as many as 16 at the highest.  It never bothered my Aunt Mary.  She always had Thanksgiving at her house. After watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade on television in our apartment, we would all go downstairs, to my aunt’s apartment, and start celebrating.

My aunt did all the shopping and cooking.  She never complained about any of it.  Not the getting up at 5:30 to stuff the oversized turkey and put it in the oven. Not setting up and serving two tables, one for kids and one for the adults.  Not cooking two totally complete meals, one of pasta and meat sauce and the other a traditional Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings. Italians do not consider it a holiday unless pasta and meatballs, our first entrée, is on the table.  Then came the turkey.  I tried not to eat too much pasta, I was saving all my room for the turkey, which I only got to eat once a year.  I loved Aunt Mary’s turkey.  It was delicious and I could hardly get enough of it.  After the turkey, out came the fruit and nuts with a bunch of nutcrackers.  All the while we were eating, the family skeletons of the past were paraded out of the closet.  Who said this and who did that.  I was recording it all in my memory and it wasn’t hard, the same stories came out year after year.  Sometimes the adults would switch over to Italian so the kids couldn’t understand.  However, I was bi-lingual and learned both Sicilian and English at the same time, and I was happy to translate the stories for my brother and cousins.  

After the fruit and nuts, we took a short breather, to make room for coffee and dessert.  The food seemed to never end.  My aunt did not have a dish washer, but some how all the dishes got washed between courses.  Then the smell of coffee filled the room and, to accompany the coffee, were the Italian pastries: canolis, sfogliatelles, napoleans, éclairs and cream puffs.  I had my dessert and, by the last bite, I was sure I was going to burst because I was so full.  

As fast as the food all appeared at the beginning of the meal, like magic it all disappeared.  The table was set up for the adults to play cards.  They all got their money and played poker while Aunt Mary, who didn’t care to play cards, entertained the kids.  I remember her singing “Oh My Darling Clementine.”  She tried to teach us to play cards for pennies.  Then, as was always the tradition back then, “The March Of The Wooden Soldiers” was on television.  The movie sort of marked the transition of Thanksgiving to Christmas.  All of us kids got under the table and watched the movie.  That is what made the holiday really complete for us.  

The adults would play cards for hours.  Too long for all the kids to stay awake after all the food and excitement.  Aunt Mary would take us into the bedrooms and get us to lie down and rest.  We were out cold in seconds.  We stayed there until the card game broke up and our parents would take us back to our apartments and put us in our beds.

One year, when I was much older, my mother decided to have everyone over for Christmas dinner.  I got together with my brother and one of my cousins; the other two cousins were Aunt Mary’s children so I didn‘t include them.  We decided to get our Aunt Mary a gold bracelet with a card that expressed our gratitude and appreciation for all the holidays she had worked so hard to have for us.  We gave her the gift box and card, which was totally unexpected and moved her to tears.  I think we all realized, that if it hadn’t been for her, we would not have ever had the precious memories of celebrating Thanksgiving with all our closest family.  Not only that, but she also always took on New Year’s Eve and she made sure there were hats, noise makers and lots of streamers and confetti for us at midnight.

My Aunt Mary has had poor health the last two years. She is in her eighties. The past couple of months she seems better than she was.  We are going to visit her next Saturday.  She loves company and she will have a full house.  My daughters and I are preparing our “Family Tree” information for my cousin’s children.  All the stories we heard repeated over and over years ago, plus ancestral charts of all our relatives and dates will all be in a binder for them.  It’ll be our way of giving back the oral traditions and family history that were told to us as children. Now that they are old enough and interested in knowing all of it, it will mean a lot to them.  I hope it’s going to be a very special visit for all of us. In many ways, these stories are the only way my children and my cousin’s children will have any way of knowing our aunts and uncles, and their great grandparents.  I’m really excited about sharing all this information with them all.

I wish you all a very Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving!