Right from Wrong . . .

 

My parents always taught my brother and I right from wrong, and that included no lying, no cheating, no hurting anyone. But this week the news has been about well known and admired people who didn’t seem to learn those lessons early in life or just don’t care. Their actions show their indifference to the moral codes of conduct and integrity. These are people who really should know better, people in respected positions, people who are well off and have absolutely no excuse for committing their wrong actions and then not taking ownership of them when confronted. It's disgraceful.

We had weeks of Bill Cosby’s accusers coming forward to speak up about how he drugged and raped them. He was already famous and could have had many willing sexual partners. Instead he chose innocent women, some just young girls, to victimize. Why did he hurt all these women who trusted him? Because he could? Because he has an arrogant massive ego? Because he knew he would get away with it? He knew it was wrong, time nd time again, and he did it anyway.

We had the number one football team in the country, the Patriots, deflate footballs to give themselves a game winning edge that they didn’t even need. They were willing to tarnish their reputation by breaking the established regulations of the game. Why? Because they felt they are too important to the game to be punished? Because they needed to win by an extra point or two? Because winning by cheating is more important than an ethical loss by fair play? They knew it was wrong, but they did it anyway.

And let’s not forget the biggest cheater in the history of cycling, Lance Armstrong. Armstrong took steroids and used other unethical medical means to gain an advantage and “won” seven Tours de France. The whole time he denied ever doing anything against the rules. When he finally confessed and apologized on Oprah, long after the cat was out of the bag and he was disgraced, his apology wasn’t the least bit sincere. I say that because he summed up every single unethical act, over the course of seven years, as “one lie.” I was disgusted with his so called apology. Can a man like this sink any lower? Yes he can. This week Lance Armstrong was driving, hit two parked cars, and then sped off. When authorities caught up with him, he had convinced his girlfriend to take the blame and say she was driving. Lance’s luck ran out when his girlfriend wasn’t nearly as skilled at lying as he is. Her story wasn’t consistent and authorities soon figured out Lance was driving that car. Why did Lance lie? Because he has a massive ego? Because he is arrogant? I don’t get it. He knew it was wrong, but he did it anyway.

And then we have highly respected news anchorman, Brian Williams, of NBC, who just signed a 5 year contract for 10 million a year, misremembering “facts.” Yes he apologized for conflating the details of his stories, to inflate his own self importance. He altered the facts when he is supposed to be reporting the truth. His career lives or dies based on his credibility and yet he put that credibility and his career at risk. Why? To make himself sound more important than he is? For the glory? To make himself a more newsworthy subject in addition to a reporter? He knew it was wrong, but he did it anyway.

When my parent instilled the principles of right and wrong in me, they stuck with me. My parents lead me to believe that good citizens in society would behave according to the same code of right and wrong. I’m sure most people do. I like to believe most do. And maybe what really bothers me about these four situations is that these are powerful, influential, people who are well known and have significant wealth. They are in the public spotlight. They are looked up to and respected. They should be setting examples and acting as role models. Instead, they are liars, cheaters and rapists that walk around unpunished with their heads held high. How do they look themselves in the mirror? I have no idea.

Who is Bill Cosby?

I grew up watching Bill Cosby on television. I grew up laughing at his jokes and stories. He was a family man. He was an intelligent man. He was a role model. He was funny. But, no one is laughing any more. Another woman came forward today, number 14 I think, with rape allegations. This isn’t doesn’t fit with the Bill Cosby I knew and loved.

Who is the Bill Cosby I know? About 30 years ago, 1986 to be exact, I found out I was pregnant for the first time. The news coincided with my brothers birthday. My husband and I decided to get three tickets to Cosby’s one man show on Broadway and take my brother. We had a great time that day. Cosby sat in a chair in the middle of the stage and did some new material and some of his best loved material. The thing that stands out in my mind is his routine about going to the dentist. We had lots of laughs. Fast forward to 1998. I had two daughters, ages 10 and 7. Cosby was auditioning children for a new show, “Kids Say The Darnest Things.” My husband and I took our girls down to try out for the show. There were so many kids there that day. My girls weren’t the most outgoing kids, but they were smart and cute. They weren’t picked, but the whole experience was exciting and a lot of fun. Around that same time, give or take a year, I got four free tickets to a taping of “Cosby,” the show that followed “The Cosby Show” with the Huxtables, which featured Madeline Kahn. We couldn’t bring the kids to the taping because no one under 18 would be admitted, so we asked our friends to join us. The taping took a couple of hours. They shot two different endings to see which one got the most laughs. It was very entertaining and we all enjoyed ourselves. That is the Bill Cosby I know.

One thing I will never forget was the day the news spread that Bill Cosby’s son, Ennis, was shot to death while changing a tire on the highway. I couldn’t even begin to imagine the depth of his sadness of losing his only son in such a senseless act of violence. Bill Cosby was at work when he was informed of his son’s death and went home to comfort his wife, Camille. The media, like a pack of wild wolves, followed him to his home, flashing camera lights in his face and imploring him to make a statement. Standing on the front steps to his door, seconds from going in, they yelled to him, “how do you feel?” With grace and composure, Bill Cosby, still in shock about the devastating news, made a brief statement about his grief before entering his front door. That is the Bill Cosby I know.

I’ve heard Bill Cosby speak out against the ills of society. He blamed parents for the high incarceration of black youth, for their illiteracy and drop out rate. He has spoken at many university commencements. He has no shortage of advice and wisdom for college graduates on what they should do with their lives. He has advice for everything: parenting, marriage, education, declining morality, you name it and Bill Cosby will talk about it. He will talk about everything except these rape allegations that go back 30 to 40 years.

Recently, Hannibal Buress, a comedian, made a joke about the rape allegations against Bill Cosby, during one of his sets in Philadelphia. Here is what he said that ignited a huge controversy:

“It’s even worse because Bill Cosby has the fuckin’ smuggest old black man persona that I hate,” Buress said. “He gets on TV, ‘Pull your pants up black people, I was on TV in the 80s! I can talk down to you because I had a successful sitcom!’ Yeah, but you rape women, Bill Cosby, so turn the crazy down a couple notches.”

"I guess I want to just at least make it weird for you to watch Cosby Show reruns," Buress says later. "I've done this bit on stage and people think I'm making it up.... when you leave here, google 'Bill Cosby rape.' That shit has more results than 'Hannibal Buress.'"

Shortly after this incident, Bill Cosby (or more than likely his social media manager) invited everyone on Twitter to make memes of him. The unexpected results were a barrage of Cosby memes all about rape. And now, Cosby is being cancelled from a booked personal appearance on Letterman.

Today the fourteenth woman came forward with rape allegations against Bill Cosby. Fourteen woman have said something. It makes me wonder how many haven’t? I have read a couple of their stories and they were similar. I find it hard to believe that Bill Cosby, a beloved comedian, could be an alleged serial rapist. I knew of one case where a woman said she was the mother of his child and the matter was settled out of court. That’s it. I chalked it up to a case of marital infidelity that resulted in a pregnancy. But apparently there was a story about his being accused of rape in People Magazine many years ago, that I never heard of. I don’t understand it. How could he do the things he is accused of and how did I not hear of it before now? This is not the Bill Cosby I know. So who is Bill Cosby? I just don’t know any more.