Counting Christmases . . .

 



I have always loved Christmas. The other day it occurred to me how few Christmases we have to enjoy in a lifetime. I lump Thanksgiving in too, because both holidays are for celebrating time with loved ones, great food, laughs and memories. And that’s special and important, right? But do we really appreciate Christmas as much as we should?

Let’s say we live to be 100, just to make things simpler. That would mean that out of the 36,500 days we walk the earth, there are only 100 Christmases (and most of us are going to have a lot less). Just 100 days or however many our lifetime allows. That doesn’t seem like enough to me and it’s kind of sad.

We can’t spend those 100 Christmases with all our loved ones. First, our parents and grandparents already used up a lot of their Christmases before we were even born. That means we might be lucky enough to share about 50 or 60 Christmases with them. By the time our children are born, we have already used up a chunk of our Christmases, so we may have 50 or 60 left to spend with them. There is going to be some overlap when we can have both our parents and our children with us for Christmas, those will be fewer yet.

All this calculating made me realize how much more precious these holidays are to me. My parents are long gone. I can't share any more Christmases with them. I can’t bring them their favorite jumbo shrimp or pignole cookies that they were too frugal to buy for themselves. I can’t hear my mom telling everyone how her cooking is better than mine or how beautiful my girls are. I can’t hear my father’s laughter as he hugs and kisses his only grandchildren on the cheek. Those Christmases are gone.

My girls are still living at home. They aren’t babies any more, those Christmases are gone. I try to pretend they are as excited about Christmas as they were when they were young children and still believed in Santa. I try to buy gifts that will surprise them, which gets more difficult every year. They don’t get us up at the crack of dawn any more. Now my husband and I are up early and the girls sleep in. There is none of the anticipation about what is in the colorfully wrapped packages. They know they will find items they put on their “list.” No real surprises. Now, we even wait for my brother to arrive and we all open our gifts together, not first thing in the morning. We make the most of the day, while our parents are noticeably missing from the conversation. We reminisce about Christmases past. That’s all we can do.

Better cherish each Christmas we are given. Time with our loved ones is the real gift of Christmas. There is never enough time to spend with those you love, and there are never going to be enough Christmases for me.

Our Christmas Is All About Love…

Christmas season starts earlier and earlier every year, and I blame the retailers for rushing things so they can make big profits. But, I was thinking this morning, maybe we do need the extra time to prepare for the holiday because people’s lives are getting more hectic and busier every year. If we aren’t working, running errands, shoveling snow, and all the rest, then we are getting sick with super bugs that turn a normal seven day cold into a three week bronchitis or even a longer pneumonia. Then we are stressed out because we are falling behind on all the things we have to do and we find ourselves rushing around until the last minute to get it all done…even though Christmas started back in October, with Halloween!

Everything that goes into celebrating Christmas we do with love. There’s a long list, from big things to the tiniest things, that go into making this day special for those you care about. There’s the shopping for just the right wrapping paper. I like to have all the Christmas colors and symbols on my paper like red, green, blue, white and snowmen, reindeer, trees and of course Santa. Some of us have to get two different sets of wrapping paper for our wiseass kids who notice that “Santa’s Paper” and our paper happen to be the same. And after you get paper, you need bows and ribbon. And all of these things would serve no purpose without scotch tape…do you get the clear tape or the one that claims to be invisible, but never is? Is there enough tape for the whole family to use? You can’t run out of tape because the stores will be out of it at midnight on December 24th! And then you realize that just as important as the tape are the gift tags! Should we get the ones that peel and stick…they are so much easier than the other kind which will make us use up even more tape! When the girls were little, I signed all the gift tags with “Love, Santa,” and maybe a couple from us. Of course, when they realized the handwriting was the same, I had to start disguising my handwriting. I am doing this all out of love, I really am. When they put out the cookies and milk…we eat them and drink the milk and leave freaking crumbs as evidence. And yet, I could not quell the skepticism that there was no Santa! So I added a large, chocolate thumb print to the note Santa left, thanking them for the cookies. But that’s not enough…no. My older daughter wants to leave an apple for the reindeer. Where the hell did she get that Idea? Who knows? So they leave and apple. I have to take a few bites of the apple and leave a half eaten apple on my end table for them to find in the morning and examine. I go to bed with indigestion, but I am doing this out of love for my children and to keep their innocence alive.

Then there are the decorations! The outdoor decorations, the indoor decorations the decorations for the tree! Oh we have to get just the right tree. If it’s a real tree, you might even want to go cut one down yourself. If it’s a fake tree, you have to bring it up from the basement or down from the attic, a job everyone hates. If you put it up too early, your decorations get dusty. If you put it up too late, there’s bound to be a light that doesn’t work that throws all the others off and you have to find it even if it takes hours. Ain’t nobody got time for that! I love my girls and, although we had a fake tree every year, one year I decided I wanted them to experience a real tree and the delightful pine smell permeating the house. We go to pick one out together. I need a special tree stand so we can water it. We set it up in the corner. My older daughter says she doesn’t like the smell. Who the hell doesn’t like the smell of fresh pine? My younger daughter, who never complains, starts getting congested after a couple of days. I think it’s a cold, but nope…she is allergic to the tree! So much for making new Christmas memories! So it’s time to put up the tree and you have to find just the right place for it. If your house is crowded, you might have to move some furniture so it’s tucked away in a corner and not in a spot that interferes with your daily living. And then you unwrap each ornament with love as you try to find the perfect place to hang it. Our ornaments are mostly all counted cross stitch, handmade by me for my daughters, for each Christmas they’ve had; and the others are from places we have vacationed as a family. To take some of the magic away from the tree decorating experience, which my older daughter finds annoying, she suggests a new tradition. She will put “her” ornaments on one side of the tree and her sister can hang hers on the other side. Why you wonder? Genius that my daughter is, she discovered it makes taking the tree down so much easier and faster when you know where your ornaments are. I give up.

Now to shop for gifts. When the girls were little I just had to go to Toys R Us in October and get just about everything all at once. I even got presents for my in laws and my brother to give them, so these kids were beyond spoiled. However, they got older, and there went my nice routine. No longer could I go to Toys R Us and satisfy their every wish. Now I had to actually think of what to get and their lists never came early. When they do make a list, it comes with instructions. Like the time my daughter wanted the DVDs of a season of The Office…make sure you don’t get the series made in Great Britain, I want the one starring Steve Carell! And I can’t get them any clothes. If I like something, it’s almost guaranteed they will hate it. I am against gift certificates. What am I supposed to do? Wrap up tiny cards and put them under the tree? So I start thinking in October and interrogating them and end up begging for a list so I can “surprise” them for Christmas…because I love them. And I love Amazon too. Every time they mention something I add it to my cart. When I have a dozen things in there I hit the order button and everything comes straight to my door…no shipping, no lines, no wasting gas, no bad weather to go out in. My brother is also impossible. He doesn’t need anything, but I want him to enjoy Christmas too. So every year we go out and get him nice clothes. Sweaters, jeans, shirts, socks, underwear, winter coat, members jacket, pajamas etc etc etc. I never see these clothes that were bought with love…they are in his closet with the tags still on, waiting for a special occasion to wear them. Eventually though, we end up with enough gifts for a decent Christmas and everyone seems happy.

Then there is the Christmas dinner. I love turkey and I like to have it on Thanksgiving and Christmas. But I made the mistake of asking my loved ones what should we have for Christmas dinner? Lasagna, says my younger daughter. Pot roast, says my older daughter. I say I want to have turkey. “But we just had that,” they say in unison. Oy vey. It doesn’t matter that I am the one to shop for the food, prepare and cook the food, serve the food, I get out voted! But I love my girls and live to make them happy. So yesterday I made a huge pot of sauce and bought my lasagna noodles and cheeses so I can make lots of lasagna for tomorrow night’s dinner. A pre-Christmas dinner whose leftovers will make my life easier as I prepare the real Christmas dinner…turkey! But, if you are wondering about the pot roast, don’t worry. I am going to make that the following week for New Year’s day!

Uh oh…there is just one little problem that’s still haunting me…no stocking stuffers! So today,  I am off to Kohl’s on my final mission to find something to put into their homemade, cross stitch stockings that are hanging in our new home, flat as pancakes. If I don’t find anything today I will fill them both with love and tissue paper…oh no, did I remember to get tissue paper? Damn it!

A Politically Correct Christmas?

One day I was out walking towards our neighborhood avenue with my daughter. I wondered aloud if they had put up the annual Christmas lights along the street. When we got to the corner I could see they had. Delightful snowflakes across each corner adorned the avenue. Then my daughter burst my bubble before it was even fully inflated, “I see that have politically correct lights now,” she said matter of factly. “What?,” I answered, “what do you mean?” And she explained how there are no candy canes, trees, ornament decorations, just generic snowflakes which didn’t symbolize Christmas at all. Snowflakes are politically correct!

This has been on the back burner of my mind ever since it happened a few days ago. It won’t go away which is why I am writing about it now. Since when has Christmas become a political issue? What’s wrong with saying “Merry Christmas” all of a sudden? Why can’t we have ornaments, candy canes, presents and trees all over the place? Why does Christmas, a religious holiday, have to be politically correct when nothing was wrong with it in the first place?

When my kids were little, hell when I was little, we celebrated Christmas during school hours. We made decorations and presents, has a little classroom party and exchanged Christmas cards. I hear this is no longer acceptable. Not everyone celebrates Christmas so let’s put an end to it in the schools! That’s the solution? Take the one holiday a year that teaches children about giving and love and squash it! We just can’t have all that cheer…it’s become offensive. Who the hell it is bothering? Who is complaining about a holiday that promotes good will towards men? A holiday that wishes everyone peace and joy? You got a problem with that? 

So Christmas trees are now being referred to as Holiday trees? Will red and green be banned from the classrooms? Is the title “WHITE” Christmas hard to swallow? Must we say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas? Nativity scenes are disappearing. Why is the story of the birth of a baby, that is centuries old, now have no place in our times and culture? How about Christmas carols? Will they also be a thing of the past? Now that I think of it, I was just at the mall yesterday and expected to hear nothing but Christmas music…I didn’t hear anything I recognized. I couldn’t even tell you what they were playing. One year I am singing and dancing to music and embarrassing my kids and yesterday…nothing.

Why are we allowing our Christmas traditions and values to be washed away after centuries of tradition? We have gone beyond the sin of losing the real meaning to the commercialization of Christmas. Now we are going to destroy it altogether by taking away every symbol, every mention of the word Christmas, every nativity scene, every light, card and stocking, every present, candy cane and ornament, every scrap of wrapping paper, every carol and gingerbread man, every Christmas list, every bit of mistletoe, every Christmas story and movie and cartoon…and of course the main offenders, the pagans, Santa Claus, Rudolph and Frosty…they all have to go. 

I don’t get it. I really don’t. I always encouraged my children to embrace all cultures. We aren’t Jewish, but we had dreidels to spin for Hanukkah and watched Sherri Lewis and Lamb Chop explain the Festival of Lights. We understood the tradition of the menorah and why it was lit over eight days. We aren’t black, but we got books out about Kwanza and the meaning behind that holiday. We aren’t Hispanic, but we  tried to appreciate the significance of January 6th, Three Kings Day. If there were more holidays we were aware o trust me, my girls wanted to not only learn about them, but celebrate them. Now, it looks like pretty soon we won’t even be able to celebrate our own holiday.

I came across this message from Ben Stein regarding this same topic. It is well written and worth reading: 

Ben Stein's message

Season’s Greetings! I wouldn’t want to offend anyone @@ (eye roll).

Memorable Christmas Moments...

Sometimes when I think back to Christmases gone by, certain memories stand out amongst the rest.  We always plan to make every Christmas special, but somehow they take on a life of their own, especially when unexpected things happen.  I thought about some of my past Christmases and thought I’d combine a few to make a blog.  My memory ain’t what it used to be.

When I was a kid, we lived in a six family house on the second floor. In the two first floor apartments were the three cousins were grew up with.  My brother and I always got lots of presents, things from our lists that we really wanted, and they were all toys.  Santa did right by us every year!  And every year, when we were done opening presents, we would run out in the hallway squealing with delight, holding our favorite toy, and yelling what did you get for Christmas to my cousins.  My cousin Paul always said the say thing every year, “I got underwear.”  I thought he was kidding, till we got dressed and went downstairs, and there, under the tree, were open boxes of underwear.  I almost died laughing this morning when I thought of that.  I’m sure he got other things, but the underwear is all that stands out in my mind.

Then there was the Christmas when my older daughter, who was six years old and in first grade, came home complaining that her back was itchy.  I picked up her shirt to see what was clearly chicken pox.  I said, “Uh oh, you have chicken pox. You finally caught it.” She was horrified and very dramatic about it.  “Oh no! Am I going to miss the Christmas party at school?”  The Christmas party was only a couple of days away and there was no way she would be over it by then.  My heart broke for her as I tried to break the bad news to her and cheer her up at the same time. There was nothing to do about it, but let it run it’s course. She didn’t get too bad of a case of chicken pox, so she was able to enjoy her time at home playing, watching television, and listening to me say, “Whatever you do, do not scratch your face!” several thousand times.  

Another year I became possessed and decided to get a puppy for Christmas. I always loved Pomeranians, but didn’t do my homework.  Yes they are cute, but they are not couch potatoes like we are, but that’s a story for another day.  In any case, I bought everything a puppy would need, as their gifts and, of course, a puppy.  My friend kept it at her house until midnight, Christmas Eve.  Then my husband and I put him in the box and wrapped it before the girls woke up early in the morning.  When they came downstairs they saw a big box in the middle of the living room and didn’t know what to make of it.  Probably the little sounds the puppy was making in the box got them curious.  My younger daughter interpreted the sounds as chirping and thought there was a bird in the box.  I told them they would just have to open it and see.  Well, they were really surprised!  My younger daughter took him out and cuddled him.  My older daughter kept her distance.  The puppy squirmed so much she put him down on the floor and he promptly ran right into a wall and stunned himself, like they do in the cartoons. Once he snapped out of it, he began terrorizing my older daughter, who was up on the couch screaming with her insulated gloves on for protection.  My younger daughter was laughing at her sister most of the day and enjoying her new puppy the rest of the time.  We named him Rudolph, Rudy for short, after the reindeer. When my mother came over and saw Rudy, she told me I was crazy. Rudy spent a good part of the day trying to chew on my mother’s socks.  That was not helpful at all with her negative attitude.  We had set up a children’s playpen in the other room, for Rudy, so that we could enjoy part of the day. This way he would have a safe place to play, eat and sleep and, he could see us without getting into more trouble. 

Unfortunately, he managed to get in a lot more trouble over the years.  Rudy has chewed through a television cord, ate my wallpaper in the same spot two times, broke the arm on my dining room chair, destroyed the playpen, escaped from the house twice only to come back a few minutes later…I better stop thinking before I have a stroke.

It’s 13 years later and this dog still has not calmed down.  He still thinks he is a puppy and wakes us up at 5:30 am every morning because he wants to go out. If anyone out there is thinking of getting a puppy…do your homework first! Merry Christmas!