Saturday, December 15, 2012

Sandy Hook School Tragedy…

There really are no words to express the depths of sorrow such a tragic event evokes. It’s incomprehensible that anyone could execute twenty innocent children. It would seem these people were victims of someone who was mentally ill and able to get his hands on at least three guns. There are going to be endless discussions on gun control, school safety, and hopefully what we can do to identify mentally ill people before they act on their delusions. And, as if all that isn’t enough, we have to worry about “copy cat” crimes of this nature. There are so many people craving attention and with the media is covering this story to the extent that it is, there may be other deranged people looking for the same level of notoriety. It’s a sick world we live in. This type of event is happening more often around the country. Hopefully, experts will get together and enact plans to try to address all these issues.

My heart and my head hurts from listening to all the news reports. My heart breaks for the babies who had no idea what was happening and whose short lives were ended in terror. And, as a parent, I cannot imagine the worrying of the parents waiting for news of their children all day and the heartbreak of those parents whose children did not walk out of the school and into their arms. There are no words anyone can say that are adequate for this immense tragedy. 

All of this took me back to 9/11. The planes hit the twin towers around the same time the gunman struck at Sandy Hook. My kids were already in school at the time. It was the first day of school. All I wanted was for them to be home. There was chaos and confusion throughout the city. In addition to the two planes that hit the towers, there was another plane that hit the Pentagon. All I could think of is were there other planes going to hit and, if so, where and when? I didn’t know if my kids would be safer in school or at home. Our cell phones didn’t work, so we couldn’t communicate with our kids. The worry and anxiety level of parents throughout the city was off the charts even though our children weren’t being targeted, we didn‘t know if our children were in any danger. 

I cannot imagine the poor parents of Newtown, CT whose children were the targets and in immediate danger of this deranged gunman. They must have been overwhelmed with fear and panic, unable to help or protect or go to their children and not knowing if they would see their children alive at the end of the day. Twenty sets of parents and families were not to see their children again. It’s sickening.

Parents can never get over the death of a child. No matter how much time passes, the sorrow and the scars remain. The void left will never be filled. Their hearts will always ache. The light will be gone from there eyes and it will be replace by a somber sadness that is like no other. I know a little about this second hand. My aunt tragically lost her two year old son when he was crushed by the back wheels of a truck, just a few feet from where she was standing. It was a horrible accident. She eventually had another child, a daughter. She overprotected her daughter because of what happened to her baby boy. But, my aunt was never the same. I often caught glimpses of my aunt, in quiet moments, and I could see the sadness in her eyes. It was there till the day she died. When anyone loses a child, I always think of my aunt and the light that was gone from her eyes, the way she sometimes sighed deeply, how she always seemed silently on the verge of tears, even years later. 

I can’t imagine myself going on after the loss of a child. I don’t know how anyone does.

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