My Children’s Father…

When I was looking for a mate, one of the things that was very important to me was what kind of father this man was going to be to our children. You can’t just consider if he is husband material without taking it a step further and considering whether he has the qualities necessary to be a great dad. Having had a very loving, doting father myself, I wanted that for my children too…and I found those qualities in my husband.

My husband is a quiet man. He usually only speaks when he has something to say, unlike me, who rambles on and on about anything and everything. He loved sports all his life and one day I had hoped to have a son so that he could pass on his love of sports. I envisioned what it might be like, father and son going off to the ballpark to watch a game, going to the park to kick the ball around or watching baseball on Sunday afternoons. But we never had a son, we had two girls instead. I was thrilled with my girls, but if I had had two boys I would have tried again for a girl. So I asked my husband one day, if he felt he was missing out by not having a son, and would he want to try one more time. He looked at me and said he was very happy with his two girls and didn’t need a boy.

My husband has always been there for our girls, just like my Dad was there for me. He made sure they had not only everything they needed, but everything they wanted. He never said no to them if they needed a ride any place. Even as they got older, he would drive them here and there and everywhere just to make life easier on them. If he had sons he would have been at baseball practice Saturday mornings instead of taking his girls to ballet school. He might have had a son who joined the Boy Scouts, instead he was taking our girls to Girl Scouts on Monday nights. Both girls tried basketball and softball, but neither of them liked it. He taught them how to ride a bike and then took them to the park so they could ride it safely. He even got on the floor and played board games with them and never complained. He read them story books and took them to Disney movies. He pretended to eat all the meals they prepared in their toy kitchen. He ate the real creations that came out of their Easy Bake Ovens. While fathers with sons might come home and toss the ball around in the yard, he would come home from work, after a long tiring day, and play Barbie’s with them. Now that went above and beyond what most fathers would do! He never raised his voice to them and could not bare to see them cry. They really could not ask for a more loving, thoughtful, gentle man to be their father.

My husband is a man like my Dad. A man who loved his family unconditionally and worked hard to provide them with everything they needed. A man who was there to support, encourage and help without ever being asked. I only hope and pray that both of my girls find men who will meet the same high standards for themselves and their children. Maybe that is the day I will find peace of mind.



Father’s Day…

I miss my father. Days like this only make me miss him more. He was a good man, a kind and loving man, a hard working man, a family man. Separated from his family by the Atlantic Ocean, he came here after marrying my mom, to work and raise his own family.

I remember when I was just two or three years old. He loved to take me out for walks. I think it was so he could show me off to his friends. He was always talking to someone along the way. But, I was a lazy little thing. I complained I was tired after we had only taken a few steps, so he would scoop me up in his strong arms and carry me everywhere. I’m sure I wasn’t tired, maybe I just liked being held in his arms.

My mother insisted that I eat a soft boiled egg for breakfast when I was around two years old. I hated that soft boiled egg. I would have never gotten it down if not for my father. He would sit there, with his big “Andy Griffith” grin, and tell me two little stories in Italian and, by the time he was done the egg was gone. I still remember those two stories to this day.

Years later, when I went to college, had to take three buses to get there and three to get back home. My father worked in construction and when the weather was bad, he couldn’t work. As long as he wasn’t working and I was in school, he would come and pick me up. I really appreciated the ride, especially in the winter. One day he was laughing on our way home and he said, “You know what? I can tell my friends that I went to college with my daughter.” We both laughed. It was both funny and sort of true.

When I got married, he walked me down the aisle with his chest all puffed out. It was like he waited for that moment since the day I was born. He was always a handsome man, but in that tuxedo he looked like a million dollars. The father-daughter dance at my wedding is a memory I will always cherish.

And when my husband and I bought our first house, we were trying to paint all the rooms, but we were getting nowhere fast. My father, though he was 35 years older than we were, came over with his rollers and brushes and went through the whole house in a week. He ways so strong and his hands were twice the size of the average man’s, but he was so gentle with me.

When my girls were both, he was the proudest grandfather. He loved them, held them, hugged and kissed them. He overfed them. They could do no wrong in his eyes. His eyes would light up every time he saw them. And my girls adored him.

You always expect your father to be a permanent fixture in your life. You don’t realize that one day you have to let go of his hand and say good bye, and that it’s forever. But, sadly that day came for me on August 24^th, 2,000. It’s hard to believe it will be 11 years that he’s gone, he was such an important part of my life. Happy Father’s Day, Daddy.