When I was looking for a mate, one of the things that was very important to me was what kind of father this man was going to be to our children. You can’t just consider if he is husband material without taking it a step further and considering whether he has the qualities necessary to be a great dad. Having had a very loving, doting father myself, I wanted that for my children too…and I found those qualities in my husband.
My husband is a quiet man. He usually only speaks when he has something to say, unlike me, who rambles on and on about anything and everything. He loved sports all his life and one day I had hoped to have a son so that he could pass on his love of sports. I envisioned what it might be like, father and son going off to the ballpark to watch a game, going to the park to kick the ball around or watching baseball on Sunday afternoons. But we never had a son, we had two girls instead. I was thrilled with my girls, but if I had had two boys I would have tried again for a girl. So I asked my husband one day, if he felt he was missing out by not having a son, and would he want to try one more time. He looked at me and said he was very happy with his two girls and didn’t need a boy.
My husband has always been there for our girls, just like my Dad was there for me. He made sure they had not only everything they needed, but everything they wanted. He never said no to them if they needed a ride any place. Even as they got older, he would drive them here and there and everywhere just to make life easier on them. If he had sons he would have been at baseball practice Saturday mornings instead of taking his girls to ballet school. He might have had a son who joined the Boy Scouts, instead he was taking our girls to Girl Scouts on Monday nights. Both girls tried basketball and softball, but neither of them liked it. He taught them how to ride a bike and then took them to the park so they could ride it safely. He even got on the floor and played board games with them and never complained. He read them story books and took them to Disney movies. He pretended to eat all the meals they prepared in their toy kitchen. He ate the real creations that came out of their Easy Bake Ovens. While fathers with sons might come home and toss the ball around in the yard, he would come home from work, after a long tiring day, and play Barbie’s with them. Now that went above and beyond what most fathers would do! He never raised his voice to them and could not bare to see them cry. They really could not ask for a more loving, thoughtful, gentle man to be their father.
My husband is a man like my Dad. A man who loved his family unconditionally and worked hard to provide them with everything they needed. A man who was there to support, encourage and help without ever being asked. I only hope and pray that both of my girls find men who will meet the same high standards for themselves and their children. Maybe that is the day I will find peace of mind.