Thursday, May 24, 2012

Taking Risks...

People, myself included, like to be comfortable and safe. Sometimes the need for security makes us avoid change or taking risks that could better our lives. Sometimes the only way we go outside our comfort zone is if we are forced to do so by life events. You know we are very clever creatures, human beings can talk themselves out of or into anything. We can rationalize and make up excuses by the dozens to make something more or less appealing, depending if we want to do it or not. 

There are many people, for example, who will stay at a job they hate, because they don’t want to risk working someplace else and trying something new. They might have the desire to do it, but they will talk themselves out of it. It’s the fear factor. Fear of failure, fear of humiliation, fear of having to start over. Instead of facing these fears and believing in themselves, they stay at a job they hate as the years come and go. There are people who are afraid of commitment so they just live together. If it doesn’t work out, they can always go their separate ways. That’s much easier than getting married and having to work at a relationship. No ring to buy, no marriage license to get, no ceremony to prepare. No fear of a marriage failing because there is no “marriage.” 

And for me, right now, I have finally taken the first step to selling this house. Something I have wanted to do for over 15 years. It was never a good time I told myself. When the kids were little, they were in special school programs and doing well, I didn’t want to disrupt that. Then my father was diagnosed with cancer and I didn’t want to move away from him and my aging mother, who was soon after diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. That was not a good time. A year before my mom passed away, I was diagnosed with cancer and that was not a good time to move for so many reasons. By the time I felt fairly confident that I was going to be okay, my older daughter started college and I had to pay tuition for my younger daughter’s private high school. Well, now that wasn’t the right time either, financially speaking. Of course, my younger daughter went on to college after high school and the tuition was pretty steep so we stayed put. And, here we stayed, comfortable and secure, in a home that was just okay, in a location I have hated for all these years. 

But, this week I called a realtor and had him come over to talk about selling this house. Now is the right time to make this a priority. The girls are done with school and my husband is taking an early retirement. I am trying to conquer the fear and anxiety of moving. It’s not going to be easy, we have accumulated a lot of stuff over the past 24 years. Plus, we will have to find another home, in a quiet place, and deal with a simultaneous buy and sell situation. I think that is what is causing me the most anxiety. People do it everyday, I know. And one way or another, I will do it too. 

Sometimes, you have to go outside your comfort zone and make some changes in your life if you want to be happy. I regret not trying to make an effort to move years ago. I could have improved the quality of my life, and my family’s a great deal. Yes, I’m afraid and overwhelmed at the thought of moving, but now is the time for change.


  1. Good Wishes for you Nina!

  2. Thank you Linda, you are very kind and I could use all the good wishes I can get! LOL