Beware Of Facebook Lock Out…

I was watching the evening news while waiting for my daughter to get home from work and heard about the “Facebook Lockout.” Facebook is apparently trying to cut down on fake accounts, like the kind “catfish” make up, and many other scams. And, in addition, if you are in violation of any of their terms and conditions, they have decided they will lock you out of your account for 24 hours. In order to get back in to your account you will have to provide them with government identification. The ID can be a passport or driver’s license which must show your picture, birth date and name which they will delete it after confirming your identity.

What if you don’t violate any of their rules? Well, you still may get locked out in error. In that case you will have to take it up with Facebook and get them to tell you why you have been locked out. Maybe they will unlock your account, maybe not. If you cannot reach Facebook, you may have to ask a good friend to contact them on your behalf. How about that?

I am not crazy about this new plan that Facebook is already implementing. I don’t feel safe giving out my government ID in a day and age when identity theft is a serious problem and getting worse by the minute. I understand Facebook’s need to try and eliminate corrupt and demented people from taking advantage of unsuspecting account holders, but requiring government identification doesn’t sit well with me. I’m not sure if I would give then that information and, in that case, I would lose my account. This is another case where the good are being punished for the sins of the bad.

Facebook may wind up losing a lot of people in the process. Would you be one of them? I am providing a link with more information so you can at least be aware of what to do in a lockout situation or think it over ahead of time.

http://www.digitaltrends.com/social-media/locking-you-out-of-your-facebook-account-is-the-new-way-to-prevent-scams/

Devaluing The Word “Friend”

 

I was thinking this morning about how many “friends” I had before Facebook. It wasn’t many, I can tell you that. I have always kept the number of my friends small because the word “friend” means something to me and I don’t use it lightly. For me, being a friend comes with a certain responsibility that I don’t take lightly. There is a certain degree of care and concern that is implied in that word. I could not be there, as I would want to be there for my friends, if I allowed the number of people to get too large. It would be overwhelming to try to be attentive to too many. Even on Facebook, I have had to turn away requests from some very nice people, to tend to the 70 friends or so I have. Some of those are even duplicates, and others hardly use their page. So the number is actually quite smaller than it appears to be. It’s at a comfortable number for me right now.

But Facebook encourages people to make more and more and more “friends.” They suggest friends for us, they want us to be friends with the friends of friends too. The sky is the limit when it comes to adding friends. I’ve seen people with hundreds and thousands of friends on facebook. Just using the word “friend” to describe someone you don’t know and don’t even talk to seems to devalue the word in my mind. What does “friend” mean when everyone you come in contact with is your friend? It means less and less until it means nothing. Facebook encourages you to make friends, all the while devaluing the meaning of the word. It’s making it ordinary when it should be a special word for a special bond. What they really should call “friends” instead are “contacts,” “associates,” “buddies,” “followers,” anything but “friends.”

Out of my 70 friends, maybe 40 or so are actively using their page, but I consider all of them my friends. What can I do for people I have never met, but have grown to know through our facebook pages? Maybe not much, but I will do what I can. I am paying attention and try to show I care. If they post they have a doctor’s appointment, I will wish them good luck or ask how it went. If they ask for prayers, I will acknowledge that and offer my prayers. If it’s their daughter’s birthday, I will stop and wish their child a happy birthday. If they have been absent for a while, I will send a little note asking how they are. If they are nervous about a test or job interview I will try to “hold their hand” and boost their confidence as much as I can. If they have a problem, I try to help them find a solution. If they tell me their child graduated I can share their joy. If a loved one died, I can share their sorrow. It just goes on and on, every day my friends are posting about their lives and I take an interest in them and what is going on. They all give back to me what I give to them. That’s why I call my facebook friends “friends” because that’s what they are, and that’s why I keep them to a chosen few.

If I had 1,000 friends, everyone would be lost in the shuffle. How could I keep up with them all? There couldn’t be an intimate interaction with a chosen few if my newsfeed is being flooded by comments, pictures, videos from the masses. I wouldn’t consider anyone my “friend” regardless of what facebook calls them. I wouldn’t know their children and grandchildren’s names are Megan, Alex, Ellie, James, Mason, Katie, Nancy, Kendra, Cassie, Ruby, Kennedy, Emily, Charlie…or their spouses names. I mean why bother when you don’t have a relationship of any kind.

So, while facebook is a good way of sometimes making or keeping friends, and I have made quite a few, to call everyone a “friend” really takes away from the meaning of the word. People seem to get great pleasure in accumulating “friends” because it makes them feel more popular. But I wonder is how many in those 500 or 1,000 friends remembers to send you birthday wishes, send you prayers, or cares if you go missing for two weeks?

My friend list is going to remain small and intimate. I’m not anxious to add anyone else. When I say “my friend on facebook” I really mean it, I’m not just throwing the word friend around.

The Friends You Keep...

They say you can tell a lot about a person by the friends they keep.  And I got to thinking, what do my face books friends say about me?  I keep my list of friends short, 77 in all at the moment.  That’s short compared to most people.  This morning I was scanning my list of names to see who was on it and what I could learn about myself.

I have a handful of family members on the list. They say you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family. I guess I am pretty lucky because if they weren’t my family, I would have picked them for friends.  My family is the kind that would drop anything to help you in time of need but, at the same time, we don’t call each other or burden each other with our problems. We take care of our own problems and yet, at the same time, we know we can count on each other to be there to support and help out if the need became great enough.

Now for my friends on facebook.  I have a couple of very nice men on my list of friends.  Gentlemen.  They are very kind, good natured, compassionate people and I enjoy reading their comments, which are very few and far between compared to my female friends.

I have a couple of young women on my list that I consider to be my online “e-daughters.” They both take college classes and are working hard to make it in today’s world.  I am very proud of them. They are mature for their age and have gone through a few things in life that has forced them to grow up a little faster than some. Sometimes they will come to me for a little advice, which I am only too happy to give. But, most of the time they are busy living life to the fullest.  I am so proud of both of them.

The rest of my list is made up of women, some older than me, some younger. Almost all of them are wives and/or mothers, some are single. For the most part, while they are all very different, they do share similar traits that I find inspiring. So many of them have gone through or are going through some difficult adversities.  Life wasn’t too kind to them in many ways.  I often think to myself, how do they do it? How do they go on day after day? I don’t have an answer. They say you do what you have to do, but where do they find the strength?  

The women on my friend list on facebook share strength. They are strong women, who may have a weak moment now and then, but shake it off and go on. They may vent about their problems, release some steam, but then they forge ahead and do what needs to be done.  My women friends have a strong faith in a higher being. They are spiritual. They get their support and hope from God. The bad things that happen to them don’t shatter their beliefs. Instead, when things get worse, they prayer for God’s help and guidance to get them through.  My friends are intelligent women.  They offer different perspectives to situations that I sometimes don’t see myself.  They speak from their own life experiences. I can and have learned a lot from them. My friends are compassionate and loving people. If they see someone struggling or needing help, they jump right in to offer it. They are sensitive, caring women who would nurture the world if it were possible. They are the kind of people, who if they won a hundred million dollars, would be thinking about how much good they could do for others with the money and not about what kind of house or car they would buy. They are down to earth and grounded. They appreciate other people, have their priorities straight, and are honest and loyal.

What amazes me most is their positive attitude.  Despite their own personal daily struggles, they persevere.  They don’t become bitter, full of self pity, shut down and withdraw. They are fighters. They prepare for battle and try to find solutions to anything life throws their way.  And, even in the midst of some of their darkest hours, I still see them reaching out to others who are going through a crisis of their own.

If the friends I keep says something about me, I know it’s all good.  They say “likes attract” and I hope that’s the case for me.  If these are the kind of people I attract then I am blessed. I appreciate each and every one of them. They have enriched my life in so many ways that words cannot even begin to describe it.

Merry Christmas to my Facebook friends! 

Everyone You Know Is Struggling…

That’s what my daughter said to me after seeing my facebook status always asking for prayers for friends or sending them. Until facebook, I never realized how much of a struggle life is for just about everyone. The updates I read make me very much aware of the daily challenges so many of my friends are facing, and I don’t even have that many friends. I have tried to keep my list to a minimum so that I can pay attention to the ones I have and offer prayers and advice if I can. They do the same for me.

They call facebook a social medium. People who have never met or even spoken on the phone, connect with one another, It’s more than a social medium to chat about what’s happening in your life. It’s a support group when you need to talk, but only have a few minutes here or there to use the computer. You know, when you get back, there will be responses of support, encouragement, advice, prayers. Not everyone has that in real life. People today are too busy to cultivate and nurture real friendships. That takes a lot of time and who has time? Life is a juggling act. We can’t squeeze everything in as it is, much less an hour or two phone call. But today we have facebook. As fast as you can type, you can talk about your problem and soon many people will be there offering to help in any way they can, without any expectations just genuine concern. It’s amazing when you think about it.

Facebook is also like having a virtual family. You really grow to care for many people and they reciprocate. They take time out of their day for you and follow up with private messages to see how you are doing. How many real people that you know do that? We talk to these people on a daily basis. If we are missing, they worry something is wrong. The closest people in my family don’t know as many details about what is going on with me as my facebook friends do. I find my friends to be accepting and nonjudgmental. Maybe that’s why facebook is one of the first places I turn to when something goes wrong?

When I joined facebook it was because some friends had joined and they wanted me to be part of their circle of friends. I did so reluctantly, not knowing anything about this “social media.” It was like a playgroup for adults. It took me a while to get used to it. Now I spend a lot of time checking my facebook page and looking in on friends. We play games via facebook, we share pictures, we share stories and memories, progress reports on diets and exercise, favorite music, tips, bargains we come across, recipes, interests, the list never ends. I love it.

The only thing I am doing now is keeping my friend list to a minimum. I don’t want to have so much going on, on my page that I cannot keep up with those who matter most to me. Maybe today I will scroll down my list and see if I can trim it down a bit. If you are on my friend list, then I hope you know you matter to me. We were all brought together for a reason and it seems to be working out just fine.