Last night Phyllis Diller was on The Rosie Show. Rosie spent the entire hour just talking with the comedic legend who is now 94 years old. It’s remarkable how sharp witted and funny her mind still is at 94, I can’t even remember what I ate yesterday. I learned a lot about Phyllis that I didn’t know and had a few laughs at the same time.
Phyllis Diller raised 5 children. She decided to do standup at the age of 37 and has been doing it ever since. That means, she started the year I was born, 1954. Phyllis paved the way for future female standup comediennes. I remember watching her on the Ed Sullivan show, with her whacked out hair and cigarette holder, and outrageous dresses. She would always talk about her husband “Fang.” I still remember a couple of her jokes. She would say, when company was coming over don’t clean, just throw sheets over all the furniture and say you are painting. She was all about avoiding housework. One joke was about tying a diaper to her baby’s knees and let him dust the floors while he crawled around. Of course, she had that distinct and classic laugh that was unforgettable. Here are a few one-liners:
“You know you are old when your blood type has been discontinued.”
“I do dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.”
She describes her mother-in-law as “jello with a belt…when she sits down it takes 5 minutes for the whole mess to settle…she stepped on the dog‘s tail, now we call him beaver.”
“Can you believe I once entered a beauty contest? I not only came in last, I got 361 get well cards.”
Last night was no different. Phyllis threw in as many one liners as she could during the one hour show. She says she would heat up her husband’s dinner in the dryer. Sure it was a mess, but it was hot. Colonel Sanders, of KFC, loved Phyllis’ legs so much he made a package of chicken legs with no breasts in her honor! Watch a little more of Phyllis and there are more clips online if you are interested.
Gotta love her!