Sunday, July 31, 2011

Taken For Granted?

Ever notice how the people you do the most for are the ones who take you for granted? It’s not only that they don’t appreciate what you do or acknowledge what you do, they have the gall to expect you to keep doing it. There’s no thanks, no I don’t know what I’d do without you, no nothing.

And it’s not like you do anything for the thanks and acknowledgment. No, you do what you do from the kindness of your heart, to help out, anticipate needs and fill them, try to make other’s lives a little easier. That’s all. And not only don’t you get any thanks for it, sometimes you get your head bit off for asking a question.

How do you know when you are being taken for granted?

- You always are there to offer your help, yet when last time you were the one in need everyone you called up was busy.

- Your friends won’t return any favor. Ever.

- You listen to people’s problems but there is nobody to listen to yours.

- Your efforts don’t get even a simple thanks.

- No matter how much you contribute people always want you to do more. Extra pay? --Some appreciation? You are funny, really!

- You feel not cared enough for, not loved enough, ignored, neglected.

- People assume you will always be there and each time you are not is taken as a personal offense.

- You notice that people forget to tell you things that matter.

- People don’t care what you do unless they need you to do something for them.

Now, what can you do about it?

Do not panic and do not make assumptions.
It might all have a very logical explanation. If you freak out and get mad for no reason it will make things only worse.

Talk about it. Don’t hold it in. But don’t sound accusing or blaming. Just talk. The relationships begin to die when we stop talking about things that matter.

Stop being nice all the time. You are human. You have emotions. You can get mad, you can be sad, you can be upset. If people know how you feel they won’t take it for granted. Learn to say ‘no’. As hard as it seems it is still possible. Give it a try. Start with smaller things. People will take you for granted only as long as you let them. Saying ‘no’ is the first step on the road of not letting them do it.

Do not compromise with your self-respect. Ever. You are better than this.

Question your motives. Don’t expect praise and appreciation. You do things for yourself because you like helping people out, not because you want them to help you later. Or don’t you?

Treat people as you want to be treated. Old cliché, maybe, but it does work. Before blaming someone for taking you for granted, see if you do it the same way.

Stand your ground and draw boundaries. You are a good person. You are a good friend. You know that. They know that. Now it’s time to be strong for yourself.

Food for thought and Lessons for us all, from this website:

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