Friday, October 15, 2010

Faux Diets!

"Faux diets" (trans. false diets) are not the latest fad in dieting. You know the fad diets: The No Carb Diet, The Atkins Diet, The South Beach Diet. They all require a blog of their own, I’m not that interested in them. I want to talk about what I call the “faux diet.” That is the one when people say they are on a diet, but they are not even close to being on one. They are just deluding themselves and think they are fooling everyone else too.

Here are few examples of what I am talking about. The guy who orders three Big Macs, two supersized fries, one supersized onion rings, an apple pie AND an extra large “diet” coke! A 12 ounce regular coke has 9 teaspoons of sugar, or a total of 135 calories. Cut out those 135 calories with a diet coke and you’re good to go!

My aunt was always on a “faux diet.” That’s why she always puts “Sweet N’ Low” in her coffee before cutting herself a second slice of cheese cake. She always has plenty of diet soda on hand too, for after the five course meal she ingested. Oh, and I shouldn’t forget to mention she is never without skim or 1% milk.
People seem willing to trade in those dreaded 15 calories per teaspoon of sugar in drinks for an all-you-can-eat buffet attitude. It’s the same thing we all see at the end of every year, during the holidays. “Eat, drink and be merry” for in January we will diet, join gyms, start yoga, take aerobics classes AND cut out sugar in our soda and coffee! No one sticks to a real diet. The only thing they seem to stick to is eliminating sugar from their beverage of choice.

I’ll bet I could have a best seller if I wrote a diet book just for these people. It’s a large group. I’ll call it the “Lo-Cal Drinks, Shrink!” diet. It’s a catchy title and the diet itself is already a big hit!

Time for my morning coffee. Now where the hell did I put the Equal!


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  2. This is one of the things that will help me sell this book and have it flying off the shelves like hotcakes:

    "Soft drinks contain 150 empty calories, you must substitute one can of soft drink (soda) with water each day. Every twenty soft drinks you skip from your normal intake equates to about one pound of weight loss."

    LOL, maybe this time next year I'll be on the cover of "O magazine"!