A Mother’s Sacrifice…
I never understood why my mother would blow up at us every now and then because she was feeling unappreciated and taken for granted. I felt like I was doing everything a kid should be doing. I excelled at school, did my household jobs, no cursing, no drugs, no lying, no staying out breaking curfews…I thought I was the model daughter.
Now, being a mother myself, I can see where those feelings were coming from. It wasn’t about what I was doing, it was about what I wasn’t doing. I wasn’t acknowledging all the sacrifices she was making, and had been making every day since the day I was born. My brother and I were her whole life. She nursed us through countless illnesses, sometimes staying up through the night with us, comforting us, bringing us medicine, fixing our blankets whatever it took to make us well. She cooked our favorite dishes and loved to watch us eat and enjoy them. We were far from rich, but every Christmas she made sure we got everything that was on our list and more. She took us shopping for winter coats, Easter outfits, new school clothes, but I never remember her buying herself a new coat, outfit, or even slippers. She wore the same clothes for years. Her slippers had holes in them, but when I told her to get new ones, she always answered, “these are broken in and comfortable.” She made sure we both went to college and always stressed how important education was, even though she was only allowed to go to school until 9th grade. She did all the laundry, we always had clean clothes and she ironed everything too. She did all the shopping, cooking and baking. If we had a problem, she had the solution. She was funny, she was loving, she was protective and she was or felt unappreciated.
Mothers are supposed to raise their children and care for them the best way they know how. My Mom did that. All she ever wanted was the best for us and maybe, every now and then, a small acknowledgment of the sacrifices she was making in order for us to have everything she never did.
I wish I had realized that. I miss you Mom.