Thursday, December 16, 2010

You Can't Please Everyone...

Don't lie, I know you can relate to this!  I've met a lot of women in my lifetime many of whom have one, classic trait in common…they try to please everyone. By everyone, I mean everyone. They try to please their parents, their siblings, their children, their friends, their neighbors and very often at their own expense and sacrifice. It would be great if all these efforts were appreciated by even half of the people they unselfishly give of themselves to, but unfortunately, more often than not, their selfless acts are taken for granted or expected. This leaves many a warm hearted, generous and loving woman feeling unappreciated.

Many women I’ve known put everyone else in their lives first and they are at the bottom of their list of priorities. We have to make sure the kids and husbands have new clothes and shoes, so they come first and then we never quite seem to get around to shopping for us. We have to take the parents and kids to doctors appointments, so we put off seeing our doctors for important screenings and tests that are critical to our health. Often, a woman will not see a doctor unless she is not able to get out of bed. I often think she goes, not because she is feeling so sick, but because she has things to do for others in her life and doesn’t want to let them down. Women put off doing the things that make them happy all the time because she wants to help and support others in their activities. If you ask a woman why she doesn’t join a gym or take classes, I’ll bet nine of out ten say I will when the kids are older or I don’t have the time right now.  How many times has she stopped everything she was doing because a friend called who needed to talk? 

All the experts will tell us that it’s very important for women to take care of themselves first. Go to a spa, get a makeover, do things you enjoy, make time for yourself. The reason or psychology behind it is that it will makes us better wives, mothers, daughters and friends. We won’t be as drained. We should recharge our “batteries” and come back better and stronger to meet all the challenges we have every day. There is a lot of truth to that too, if only we had the time to take that wonderful advice! Even if we did do any of the things that makes us happy, the whole time we are there the things we need to do are running through our minds. It is quite exhausting.

I think that’s one of the reasons why women’s friendships are stronger than men’s. It’s not only the emotional component, it’s the understanding without having to be told, of how much rests on our shoulders, the worrying, the unending sacrifices we willingly make for those we love, how we neglect our own needs in order not to let anyone else down. It’s all unspoken, but understood.

I have tried to please everyone, so I know how it feels. You get little thanks for it all, but if you should slip up and forget to do something or don’t feel up to doing something, that will be noticed and mentioned. So I came to the conclusion years ago, that if you can’t please everyone, you should please yourself. Then you will know at least one person will be satisfied.


  1. Nina once again you said it all !!!!! i couldnt agree with u more !!!

  2. Thanks Sandy, I appreciate it!