Wednesday, November 10, 2010


Bullying has been going on forever, but it keeps getting worse. Talks shows are talking about it to raise awareness of the problem, but we are all already aware of it, aren’t we. How many more suicides have to make the news before some serious action is taken to stop it? Schools will only deal with it if occurs when the children are there. Even then, they don’t seem to take it seriously enough or can only do so much. I’ve heard story after story, where parents have contacted the school time and time again, and very little is done to stop it. The parents of the victims step forward to help their children, but where are the parents of the bullies?

If one of my children was being bullied at school, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to stop it. Even taking them out of that school and place them into a private school, as a last resort. But not everyone can afford to take their child out of a school and put them into a private school, and then shouldn’t have to. Schools should be given the authority to take extra measures to stop this behavior dead in it’s tracks. Why can’t law enforcement be brought it? This is harassment right? Sometimes it gets physical, and that would qualify as assault or assault and battery. Police reports provide documentation of an ongoing problem, so if you have to take it to court you stand a better chance of the bully being punished.

Once, many years ago, a boy ripped my brother’s new winter coat in junior high school. My mother did not bother talking to school authorities. She took my brother and his coat right down to the police station, filed a complaint and pressed charges for assault. They had their day in court. As it turns out, this bully already had some priors and was sent to juvenile hall. My brother never had a problem with him ever again. My mother wasn’t one to have patience to see what the school was going to do about it, neither would I.

Judge Judy had an excellent idea too. She spoke of hitting the parents of bullies where it hurts! She said if your child is bullying other children the government should not allow you to claim that child on your income taxes for that year. If parents know it’s going to cost them money, that may curtail some of the bullying. However, if your child is being bullied, I believe the parent has to do everything in their power to stop it and not depend on others, who do not have much invested in your child, to take care of it.

This is one problem that needs a solution. Enough talking and more action. We need to keep our kids safe!


  1. Bullies have always been around. Why do you think it's gotten worse? I think (and please don't take this the wrong way) some kids are coddled by their parents to be too timid. Their feelings get hurt way too easily, and then the bully knows they are getting through to the victim. If more children are taught by their parents to just brush it off, walk away, ignore it, or ever say go away, leave me alone, the bully will eventually have no more victims. Our school does a great job, in my opinion of bringing bullying to the surface and teaching the students how to deal with it. The biggest thing they teach is to express the importance of standing up to the bully as a group. Don't just sit back and watch it happen. Speak up, get help, tell someone. I've seen it work in action. Most kids in elementary school don't even realize they are bullies though, that's the hardest part. For the most part they don't like to be mean, or unliked by their peers. They just need to be taught the right way to play so to speak.

  2. Kelly if your school is successful then I think they should get the word out to the schools that aren't how to go about it. We should find all the schools that are having success in handling bullying and use them as models because, quite frankly, it's an issue in too mnay schools from elementary to college. Also, many children, if not most, come from a household where there is one parent, or two working parents, and may not be getting as much parenting or attention as they need. There are a lot of factors that contribute to bullying that may not have a solution. But, the bullying itself, has to stop.
    Are all the schools in your district as successful as yours? How about the ones in your state? Many talk shows are trying to create awareness and solutions for the problem, maybe you can write to Dr Phil OR better yet, have as many people in your school as you can have a letter writing campaign to Dr Phil. Maybe you all can get your message heard and make a difference.

  3. We follow a national program for the bullying. I just don't think people hear about all of the successes and concentrate on the negative. Quite honestly I get a little tired of all of the parental excuses. I truly think bullying has always been there. It's the way we as adults approach our children is what's creating the target in the first place. No, I'm not blaming the victim. I'm blaming the parents for creating victims in the first place. Hopefully that makes sense, and isn't too offensive. A bully can't bully if they don't have any victims or targets.
    Helicopter parenting is a huge concern these days. I think the same things that are creating this new type of parent is leading to more and more children not having the tools to handle the bullies.

  4. But what about children accosted by several bullies, not just one. It's very hard to take action as a child if you are terrified. And Kelly, some schools are a lot worse than others across the country. So what works in one place may not work in another.

  5. Gosh of course not Nina. I just think that schools catch bad raps quite often when people think nothing is being done, when in my opinion that's simply not the case. The painting with a broad brush get's annoying to be honest. I also think not enough is said about those helicopter parents that have created some of these issues. Again, I'm honestly not blaming the victim, but parents need to take some ownership here too and stop placing it all on the schools.