Monday, November 29, 2010

Who Likes To Clean?

Ok, ok don’t everyone call out at once!

I was having a nice conversation with my daughter yesterday and, for the umpteenth time, I asked her, “Why don’t you help me clean the house?” Her response, “I don’t like to clean. Things have to be moved around. It’s only going to get dirty again.” To which I say, “Welcome to my life!” I told her if it makes her happy at 99.5% of women do not like to clean. Of course I may have exaggerated a bit as I thought more about it this morning. The actual figure maybe closer to 98% who hate to clean.

I had to consider that there is a certain percentage of the population that has OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and they like to clean, or if they don’t like it they feel compelled to do it. I never feel compelled to clean. Then you have your germophones, your Howard Hughes, Michael Jackson, Howie Mandel and the character played by Jerry Seinfeld. They go through great lengths to have everything clean AND disinfected with bleach. I never feel the need to do that. These people are permanently dedicated to cleaning.

Then we have to consider the new bride. She has her new home, new furniture, appliances, new towels etc. She has everything set just the way she likes it and God forbid her husband should move something or use the towels that were out for “show.” The new bride will clean because there is basically not much to clean at first. And she wants to keep her home exactly the way it was on day one. This phenomena might last three weeks. Soon she will discover that laundry, food shopping, and cooking take precedence over dust and after working a 40 hour week, she is not about to spend all spare her time cleaning. These women are just temporarily insane and readjust their priorities very fast.

Next are first time moms. Yes, pregnant women, especially those having their first baby, get the nesting instinct. The last few months of their pregnancy they want to get the whole house clean and in order for the new baby. All the baby things are bought and set up in the nursery just awaiting the arrival of their little son or daughter. It’s a good thing they did all that cleaning too, because they aren’t going to have another chance to do much of anything for the next couple of years. Sleep deprived, under nourished women who focus on all their baby’s needs, so not have time or energy to clean. The house goes to pot while the baby thrives. So these women stop cleaning out of necessity or survival.

Women with maids love to clean too. Their contribution is barking orders at the servants, who graciously do all the work. Therefore, I advise my daughter to find a way of becoming financially successful enough to afford one of these people to come clean her house. But, I can’t afford a maid and still could use some help.

I’m sure there are more people who love to clean, but I’m pretty sure they are in the minority. It’s just something that has to be done, over and over and over again, week in and week out at nauseum. That’s why a man works from sun to sun, but a woman’s work is never done!

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